Drunkard Implements

[Jelmo]

Uhm... with the "There's no such thing as stupid questions" in mind... what's up with those church keys?

[greygoose]

teeth. that's all you need.

[BeerMakesMeSmart]

teeth. that's all you need.

I knew a guy who thought that. Then I watched him crack two teeth one night. He was no longer having a good time.

[BeerMakesMeSmart]

Uhm... with the "There's no such thing as stupid questions" in mind... what's up with those church keys?

"Cool Hand" Luke wore one so they must be ok.

[Ptflea2]

Uhm... with the "There's no such thing as stupid questions" in mind... what's up with those church keys?

"Cool Hand" Luke wore one so they must be ok.

That he did. Good point.

[Bluespook]

I always thought that if i was gonna get busted for a drunkard crime, "Malicious destruction of municipal property while under the influence" would be the one I would want to do the most. If i ever hit the lotto and can pay the legal bills and fines, i'm gonna get super loaded one night and cut the heads off of parking meters, just for the fun of it.

[kowalski]

If i ever hit the lotto and can pay the legal bills and fines, i'm gonna get super loaded one night and cut the heads off of parking meters, just for the fun of it.

That would be quite heroic

[Rip Rufus]

You have a knife that drinks? Do you have any idea how much money you could make off that? The talk show circuit, circuses, fuggedaboutit! I can't imagine his tolerance would be any great shakes, but still, he's a knife. And he drinks. Which is more than we can say about those Quakers in MADD and AA!

Now that reminds me of a story. Back in the day, I was at a party in the basement of some house up near where I went to college. I happened to hear a buddy of mine tell some girl that he could "drink through his dick". This gentleman was a soccer teammate of mine, and I was unaware of this "talent". And very suspicious. So as he is trying to convince this young lady of his dubious ability, I gathered a couple other buddies around to watch the situation develope. The girl calls a couple of her friends over, and they decide to let him attempt to drink beer through his dick. Of course, he insisted that he use her beer cup. She agreed. So he pulls it out, and tells her (and the crowd that has now gathered) to note the level of beer in the cheap see-through plastic cup. Then he goes balls-deep into her beer, and didn't spill a drop on the floor, himself, or the lady. He pulls out of the cup, shakes it off (onto her pants), and says "Look! THe level has dropped!" And it had. Only because of what was on him when he pulled out, but most people were too inebriated to realize that.

The whole point of his trick was to have a whole crowd gather to watch him dip his cock in some girls beer. It worked. It wasn't the funniest thing in the world, but it was weird and good for a laugh.

Thanks for you time. You'll never get it back.

[drunkensooner]

You have a knife that drinks? Do you have any idea how much money you could make off that? The talk show circuit, circuses, fuggedaboutit! I can't imagine his tolerance would be any great shakes, but still, he's a knife. And he drinks. Which is more than we can say about those Quakers in MADD and AA!

Now that reminds me of a story. Back in the day, I was at a party in the basement of some house up near where I went to college. I happened to hear a buddy of mine tell some girl that he could "drink through his dick". This gentleman was a soccer teammate of mine, and I was unaware of this "talent". And very suspicious. So as he is trying to convince this young lady of his dubious ability, I gathered a couple other buddies around to watch the situation develope. The girl calls a couple of her friends over, and they decide to let him attempt to drink beer through his dick. Of course, he insisted that he use her beer cup. She agreed. So he pulls it out, and tells her (and the crowd that has now gathered) to note the level of beer in the cheap see-through plastic cup. Then he goes balls-deep into her beer, and didn't spill a drop on the floor, himself, or the lady. He pulls out of the cup, shakes it off (onto her pants), and says "Look! THe level has dropped!" And it had. Only because of what was on him when he pulled out, but most people were too inebriated to realize that.

The whole point of his trick was to have a whole crowd gather to watch him dip his cock in some girls beer. It worked. It wasn't the funniest thing in the world, but it was weird and good for a laugh.

Thanks for you time. You'll never get it back.

A time well spent. Meaning a good story!

Saw a friend of mine try something similar but he was way too drunk and ended up getting us all kicked out of the bar. Actually he tried to use his dick as a stirring utensil. Apparently she didn't like it. But it was a fun night.

[Negromancer]

Well, I've got a knack for themed drinking vessels. Whenever I have a friend bring somebody new over to my prison-cell apartment, I usually bring out my ceremonial wooden tankard. When I drink rum I like to do it out of a coconut and listen to Martin Denny.


I haven't really got any tools for my drinking trade, since I tend to use any furniture or sharp/hard edges as makeshift bottle openers. Which is why I barely feel anything on my right index finger and a nice scar to go with it. Sticks or knives if I drink wine.

[Hardcore Stig]

I also have this cigar-tube/flask combo w/ a collapsable shot glass.

That's just freaky Peetie as I have the same hip flask (used for Courvoisier only) and the same shot glasses as part of a 2 small hip flask set, I use them for portable martinis.

Got a bottle opener on my key chain of course although my teeth are always a good fall back.