How low can you go?

Dirty Lou · Post by **Dirty Lou** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 2:21 pm

Hey all, just stoppin' by to say hi! Wanted to invite you all to share you favorite tales of low. I want to hear tales of degenerate scumbaggery. I'll start.

C was out of town a few weeks back. I work up hungover, confused and calling her name. After my senses got themselves in order, I got up to take a leak. Upon stepping up to the toilet I saw that there was a huge dook already in the soup. There was no toilet paper in the bowl. I took a shower immediately.

BeerMakesMeSmart · Post by **BeerMakesMeSmart** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 2:22 pm

You're assuming the dook was yours.

Palmwine Drunkard · Post by **Palmwine Drunkard** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 2:24 pm

Unfortunately, you sound well adapted to life in North Sumatra.

And when will you be joining us?

190Flask · Post by **190Flask** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 2:32 pm

And here I thought nothing was too dirty for you Louie.

Post by **Judge** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 3:02 pm

Dirty Lou wrote:Hey all, just stoppin' by to say hi! Wanted to invite you all to share you favorite tales of low. I want to hear tales of degenerate scumbaggery. I'll start.

C was out of town a few weeks back. I work up hungover, confused and calling her name. After my senses got themselves in order, I got up to take a leak. Upon stepping up to the toilet I saw that there was a huge dook already in the soup. There was no toilet paper in the bowl. I took a shower immediately.

I'm not totally believing the last sentence....I bet you found other things to do first, morning eye opener, check the house for strippers, make sure C was really out of town, leave JT a shitty voicemail....I bet it was hours before you remmbered that nasty smell wasn't related to that dog that you found in the kitchen (give it back, check the tag on the collar).

Rooster · Post by **Rooster** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 3:04 pm

I surprised my ex-girlfriend with a bottle of wine and a catalog of foreign movies last night. She opened the bottle of wine and I proceeded to drink it in its entirety. Her boyfriend called several times, but I turned the ringer on her phone off, and then finally answered after several tries in a very deep voice, telling him he had the wrong number if he knew what was good for him. This morning, I stopped by to give her a lift on my way to some shopping, and while she was in shower I stole all of the bottles of wine her boyfriend bought her and rubbed his special, kosher, that no one else eats, Hebrew National hotdogs on my taint before putting them back in the wrapper and closing the fridge. Hebrew National hotdogs are delicious, but seriously... who is going to turn down a Nathan's except some asshole abiding by some ancient Jesus-era shit? We then made plans to go snorkeling, and when he asked if he could come, I threatened to "fucking choke him until he turns blue and looks like Brainy Smurf". Unfortunately, he called for the power of Odin... no wait, he's not that cool, Marduk... and thunderstorms ruined the liaison. Going back to her place, I wiped my cock all over the manischevitz bottle.

In other words... how low can I go? I can go Louie.

Rooster · Post by **Rooster** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 3:06 pm

I should mention... part of what took place, occurred while I was wearing gold metallic speedos.

bluebottle · Post by **bluebottle** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 3:08 pm

you know, they say when you pee on someone elses turd, it will travel up your stream and into your penis and you.

190Flask · Post by **190Flask** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 3:21 pm

Rooster wrote:I surprised my ex-girlfriend with a bottle of wine and a catalog of foreign movies last night. She opened the bottle of wine and I proceeded to drink it in its entirety. Her boyfriend called several times, but I turned the ringer on her phone off, and then finally answered after several tries in a very deep voice, telling him he had the wrong number if he knew what was good for him. This morning, I stopped by to give her a lift on my way to some shopping, and while she was in shower I stole all of the bottles of wine her boyfriend bought her and rubbed his special, kosher, that no one else eats, Hebrew National hotdogs on my taint before putting them back in the wrapper and closing the fridge. Hebrew National hotdogs are delicious, but seriously... who is going to turn down a Nathan's except some asshole abiding by some ancient Jesus-era shit? We then made plans to go snorkeling, and when he asked if he could come, I threatened to "fucking choke him until he turns blue and looks like Brainy Smurf". Unfortunately, he called for the power of Odin... no wait, he's not that cool, Marduk... and thunderstorms ruined the liaison. Going back to her place, I wiped my cock all over the manischevitz bottle.

In other words... how low can I go? I can go Louie.

I'd fucking hate to be the boyfriend. Wow, just wow. Score one for the dirty Messicans.

Rooster · Post by **Rooster** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 3:24 pm

He's an emasculated needle-dick. How can he even hope to compete with my fine ass?

190Flask · Post by **190Flask** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 3:38 pm

Haha, so true. That hat is amazing. What a good time was had by all. I miss you retards, heh.

190Flask · Post by **190Flask** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 4:18 pm

On another note, I totally look like I'm checking you out in that picture.

Rooster · Post by **Rooster** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 7:06 pm

It's ok... so was Skot.

drunkensooner · Post by **drunkensooner** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:25 pm

I feel like a fat fuck.

Screwball · Post by **Screwball** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:29 pm

drunkensooner wrote:I feel like a fat fuck.

Hey, it is a Saturday. Get yer freak on.

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