When I first met the booze

[Modern Drunkard]

From the start I loved it. I remember the key moments.

My first beer. My dad gave my brother and I a tall can of Coors each when I was 8 or so. It was glorious. We went berserk, but it was probably mostly psychosomatic.

My first whiskey. I was 12. My dad came home from driving cab, drunk, and poured my brother and I a glass of Jack (before it sold out) on the rocks and put on a Hank Williams record. I sat in my mom's rocking chair, sipping, listening. trying to act like I knew what I was about. My mother, at some point, stood framed in the kitchen doorway, my sisters clutching her legs, and she had the saddest expression on her face, but she didn't say anything.

And my dad was laughing and I was laughing and I was cutting the apron strings. Laughing at my mom's sorrow, the greatest taboo, because she was and is a goddamn saint. And my dad, he was talking to me like I was one of his friends or one of my uncles, like I wasn't a kid. I knew then I was crossing over, I knew I was no longer a kid. I was no longer a momma's boy. I was entering the society of men. I wasn't a man yet, but I was damn sure on my way.

My first blackout. I was fifteen. A family reunion, at my uncle's grand white trash palace in Mack, CO. The adults shifted upstairs to play poker and we kids crept downstairs to commandeer the basement bar. No skills, we mixed all the liquors together in tall glasses without ice and drank them in cheap but well meant mimic of the elder's cocktails upstairs. I woke up with something I had never experienced before and listened to funny stories about how I fell apart and about like a smart-mouthed stevedore. I must have blushed with pride, hearing it. It seemed to me exciting as hell that I would act that way because I was a very shy and awkward kid.

That's mine. Let's hear yours.

[nic the chick]

my first taste of booze: i was younger than 7, because my parents hadn't split up yet. creme de menthe. tasted wonderful, felt even better, and helped me forget that my doll shadows wanted to "get me" in the middle of the night.

first drunk: 12 years old, with my best friend who was about to move hundreds of miles away. we watched the exorcist and drank a bottle of malibu rum and two high lifes.
we watched the exorcist and drank into oblivion once every summer for the next three years, until she lost her virginity to some random guy we found in the parking lot. ended our movie night. boo.

first blackout: i was maybe 17, but i'm not certain. i'd hate to tell a drinking story that i don't recall.

[Judge]

I have a picture of myself at the age of 18months holding a Coors in my hands sitting on the couch with a big grin.

Next story has me at my mom and dad's company picnic (they both worked for the state hospital on different shifts). At the employee's picnic grounds apparently I was wandering around a little 3 year old with my own can of beer. Some woman was appalled and picked me up and separated me from my beer. It's said I was screaming to all get out. My dad (he doesn't drink much these days-being afraid of alcoholism which is rampant in our family-but in those days...well) was pretty much in his cups at the time stating to the woman, "he'd quit screaming if you'd give him back his damn beer."

My mother arrived later and she was not amused. Strangely, she's the sloppy drunk now and he's not, though he will have a scotch or three with me during our visits.

Next I remember New Year's Eve 1973/74. The kid watching me that night (and his sister-my first girlfriend) got hammered on vodka. We did too, but not as much as him (I'd be 10then).

We kept freaking him out putting peanuts in the toilet after he'd puke and flush it. Anyway, the next day I met my step dad's parents for the first time. I'm told I was unusually quiet.

Then I was given the task of running for beers at a trucking company's annual picnic when the rain came and ran everyone inside and the beers were out in the field in a iron bath tub filled with ice and too heavy to move. About 200 yards. I'd drink one and bring back 6 for the adults. Obviously someone else would be out and I'd be sent back to fetch more. That's the night the adults decided to go to Reno for breakfast (4 hour drive) and left me to babysit some 9 year olds. They were a bunch of assholes and I couldn't move from the barcalounger.

Next? Trip to Hawaii in '77. My uncle the cop kept giving me beers ( I think my being 8" taller than all the other kids my age had something to do with it). Also football starts at 7am there. As do the passing around of the 7oz Miller beers.

It goes on and on....face it....I was never not going to be a drunkard.

[whiskeyprick]

1st beer: around 10 or 11, boating with my dad.

1st drunk: age 13, my friend's older brother stole a case of 3.2% Old Mil from the grocery store he worked at and my friend, I and him drank it listening to the Sex Pistols and the Exploited.

1st blackout (this one time at band camp...) : age 15, night of my high school band concert. Same friend's older brother was having a Jim Jones party (Trash can of juice and Everclear and cornucopia of fruit I helped chop) a few blocks away. I frontloaded and went to the concert and embarrassed my mom in front of other parents. My section leader told me to lip sync my trumpet, of course, I didn't. Went back to the party after the concert and drooled over high school girls. I passed out shortly thereafter, I don't remember where.

[Judge]

1st beer: around 10 or 11, boating with my dad.

1st drunk: age 13, my friend's older brother stole a case of 3.2% Old Mil from the grocery store he worked at and my friend, I and him drank it listening to the Sex Pistols and the Exploited.

1st blackout (this one time at band camp...) : age 15, night of my high school band concert. Same friend's older brother was having a Jim Jones party (Trash can of juice and Everclear and cornucopia of fruit I helped chop) a few blocks away. I frontloaded and went to the concert and embarrassed my mom in front of other parents. My section leader told me to lip sync my trumpet, of course, I didn't. Went back to the party after the concert and drooled over high school girls. I passed out shortly thereafter, I don't remember where.

You sure you weren't time travelling? That last part sounded a lot like you during Con2.

[nic the chick]

You sure you weren't time travelling? That last part sounded a lot like you during Con2.

maybe he just hasn't changed the game since then. 96 percent of males don't.

[Shane-O-Matic]

First taste: Probably in one of those smoky Donegal pubs as a wee boy. Definitely a Guinness, I remember that much.

First drunk: It's probably quite telling that I can't remember.

First blackout: Reports and pictures suggest that it was one time at 16, when we drank whiskey in a bar, got very loud, thrown out, and went back to a friend's house and continued to drink.

[whiskeyprick]

You sure you weren't time travelling? That last part sounded a lot like you during Con2.

maybe he just hasn't changed the game since then. 96 percent of males don't.

pussies.

[Swede]

First memory of drinking beer was with my dad. He used to have a beer after long days of timbering/various construction at our summer house somewhere around '86 which would've made me 9-11 years old. I always helped him as much as I could and at the end of the day we'd sit there, sweaty and exhausted. He'd pop the beer, have a large gulp and pass the can to me. I still recall the sweet taste of the "forbidden". The first times I only had a small sip, which later turned into as large gulps as I could manage without looking like I was attempting to empty the can as I only had one shot at it. My heart smiles at the memory - dad, I love you.

Apart from the regular post-construction beer gulp my next encounter was when I was 14 and I nipped some cherry schnapps from my parents pantry.

My first real drunk wasn't until I did my military service when I was 19 when the lads at the airbase celebrated getting out of service. Didn't bring any beer but my pals made sure that I had plenty to drink - wasn't planning to - and I blacked out. I do recall taking a walk next to the airstrip and the next day they said they went out to go look for me so I wouldn't cause trouble. Apparently not the best of ideas to have a drunk stumbling about on an airstrip or even an airfield as a jet touch down. I actually don't think I was ON the strip, I think, not that I recall going out.

Next day, first hangover, terrible one the first time not knowing what to expect. First morning puke as well. Got off having to work on the strip that day - for some reason they didn't think I was OK to drive :)

All downhill from there...

[TheBigCasino]

I got an extremely late start, a late start with serious drinking. I've always had a beer here and there, maybe a glass of wine or Champagne. There was always something about Whiskey though, that aisle was always emptier than the rest, a bit darker, the labels reminded me of what my father used to drink, I had to try it. Bought a bottle and the foirst taste was agony, but the very last taste, I had one word in my mind, "more". and not just more Whiskey, but more knowledge of the various stuff out there. I musta been maybe 27 or so.

My fav story is the car fire out west. corvette, up in flames, all our bvags are in it in shit. car goes up, what do I grab as I'm getting out? A bottle of the dsame shit I'm drinking right now, WT101. Right then I knew I was on board for life. Keep in mind, the same shit happened not too long after that in a 442.Priorities iin order kids... priorities.

[Resident Asshole]

I was offered a Budweiser about age 6 but after smelling it I wanted nothing to do with it. That kept me off beer for a long time. My Grandpa was great though. He wanted to buy me a minibike, a gun and some beer but my mom would have no part of it. I love her, but damnit mom!

First blackout: My roommate was making a trip to live with his brother in Corpus Cristi, TX for a little while. I was in between semesters so I figured I would make the trip with him (we lived on the campus of Michigan State U). I decided that we should make a stop in New Orleans as it was the week after Mardi Gras and I had never been. At that time I was 19, but the drinking age in the city limits was 18. Went straight for "New Orleans strongest mixed drink", the Hand Grenade. Looking back, it wasn't that strong, but I drank several. Went to the store and got a half-pint of Arrow vodka. Drank it straight. Staggering now. Got invited to a bondage show by a couple of girls. Decided I was too Christian for that. However we did stagger into a strip club where I proceeded to pass out in the bathroom whilst my friend dealt with the waitress and her damned two drink minimum. I told him I was fine, I wanted something else from the store. MD 20/20 was his suggestion, he wanted to teach me a lesson. Next I knew, woke up in a motel room with a black man laying on the floor next to me. Apparently I tried to evangelize him and invited him back.

First beer: When I turned 21 I went to the bar by myself and had a pint of Guinness to start the night off. I will be forever proud of that being my first beer.

[Oggar]

I've seen pictures of me at two or three running around the house holding beer cans. But the first time I recall having a beer I was 18 in a bar on the Iron Range in the wild and woolly northlands of Minnesota. I had gone up there to visit my favorite cousin Jason, 5yrs my senior. There was a band playing at some bar a couple towns over. Jason said we should go check it out so I figured what the hell. We got to the bar and I threw my wallet in the glove box. As we walked in both Jason and I got carded, I said to Jason, "See I told you'd we'd have to go back for my wallet." The bouncer then simply asked for my birth date, I rattled off my own deftly adding 3yrs and he told me to go ahead. We met a couple girls and sat down to a pitcher of beer with them. Michelob Golden Draft Light, for any unfortunate enough to have had it you know it is possibly North America's worst beer. Distributed by Budweiser it is still only available in MN, IA, ND, SD, WI and now apparently IL and NE. I had 2 glasses to this day the only beer I've had approaching it in vileness is Beer Thirty.

My first drunk was the night of my 21st. Up to that point all I really knew about drinking was that my family had a "bad history" with it. I remember my dad coming home drunk and kicking the shit out of my mom, I heard stories about my grandma calling three days late from another state saying she was on her way home. Various aunts and uncles regaling me with stories of having to fight their way out of bars after going drinking with one another. Stories of several of my parents first dates having ended in jail, etc,. But hell it was my 21st and there aren't many rites of passage left in our society so I figured I've got to get out of my head at least once. I did and it was glorious. That weekend was my first blackout. I have since discovered there is little I enjoy more than a good blackout. They are a catharsis and far and away the best stress reliever I have ever found. A single night's blackout will wipe away the stress of an entire week of work, glorious.

[Resident Asshole]

A single night's blackout will wipe away the stress of an entire week of work, glorious.

Cheers to that. I'm at the very beginning of that right now. Took half a day off work to start early.

[Surreal]

When I was 13, I had a summer job at a grocery store in a town with a population of about 1500. I sorted returnables, stocked the shelves and on Sundays, John the butcher went fishing and I ran the meat counter.

My godfather, a brilliant man and a brilliant drinker was visiting from downstate. He had a 6th grade education but was one of the smartest guys I knew. He worked hard and he played hard and he loved his Budweiser.

He was proud that I had a job and asked my dad if he could pick me up form work. So, at closing time, he was waiting out front in his Ford F150 for me. I hopped in and we began the slow drive home.

When he got the truck up into 4th gear, he turns to me and says, "Tim, we're men. And as men, we work. And when we're done working, we drink". With that, he lifted up the sweartshirt that was between us on the bench seat and revealed a 6-pack of the King of Beers.

I had one, he had 5 and I don't think any beer I've ever had has ever tasted so sweet....

[Mayhem]

First taste was Beer, probably Genesee, around age 5 or 6, summertime, while Aunt Ronnie was visiting. She is now 96 and still has jet black hair and drinks Beer.
First drunk was at 9 years old in Italy, on homemade red Wine and Grappa. There are Super 8 movies of this.
My first whiskey and blackout was when I was 15. I had just broken up with my first girlfriend over the phone, very confused, and going to a wedding with open bar. I looked much older than 15, so I sat at the bar drinking TJD pre sellout. Probably polished off a bottle. They tell me I went home and projectile vomited near the toilet.