Ask Savage

[Savage]

They are way cooler than the Monkees, are they not?

[ThirstyDrunk]

Dear Ms Savage,

What is the capital of ancient Mesopotamia?

I dunno, but this is the number one on their hit parade

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAMRTGv82Zo

...before I talk, I should read a book

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7B5W4VGa_U

[Mr Boozificator]

Dear Ms Savage, I have too many tomatoes. I've prepared stews, coulis, salads, sun dried tomatoes, strange cocktails etc... Do you have an other recipe for me. Thanks already.

Ps: If you have something interesting I might stop trying to imaginarily marry your daughter(s).

[steved2112]

Dear Savage:

I realize sometimes that my life isn't based upon a Douglas Adams book, and drinking usually helps. Should I try to make more friends from Betelgeuse, or just drink more?

[whiskeyprick]

Dear Savage

What is your real first name, so next time we drunk dial you won't hang up on me?

(You can PM me the answer, I pinky swear not to tell a soul.)

[peetie44]

Dear Ms Savage,

This board has a dedicated "bourbon" thread in TAOGH but since you are one of the olde...ur-uhh...I mean, LONGER TENURED (heh-heh ;^) members here and you seem to reference bourbon more than almost everyone else combined, what is your favorite bourbon -- cost being no object?

[Savage]

My, how they do pile up.

Boozy: Learn to can. Put up tomato products in various forms; puree, paste, crushed, whole.. Also, tomato juice, for those Bloody Mary emergencys in the fall and winter. And shut the fuck up about my daughter, you old pervert.

Steved: Life is never based on a Douglas Adams book. Rather, Douglas Adams based his books on life. Yes, drinking mass quantities always helps. At least for me, it does. But I could snap at any moment.

Prick: Dianne. That's the name. I think you might be getting as senile as Grumpy. You two should hang out together. Do you smoke cigars?

Peetie: I'm not supposed to go on any board but the Pub, for reasons I cannot remember. And BTW, I believe you are not only older than me, but older than Grumpy, and that is saying something. As for bourbon, I am a cheap date, a woman of simple tastes. I like Maker's Mark. Over a bit of ice, as most places in my world tend to be overheated. P.S. Could you put up some more links to your music? It was cool.

I had a wittier and much less crabby set of answers, but the ethernet ate it. So this is it. This is the list. Yep.

[Mr Boozificator]

My, how they do pile up.

Boozy: Learn to can. Put up tomato products in various forms; puree, paste, crushed, whole.. Also, tomato juice, for those Bloody Mary emergencys in the fall and winter. And shut the fuck up about my daughter, you old pervert.

Steved: Life is never based on a Douglas Adams book. Rather, Douglas Adams based his books on life. Yes, drinking mass quantities always helps. At least for me, it does. But I could snap at any moment.

Prick: Dianne. That's the name. I think you might be getting as senile as Grumpy. You two should hang out together. Do you smoke cigars?

Peetie: I'm not supposed to go on any board but the Pub, for reasons I cannot remember. And BTW, I believe you are not only older than me, but older than Grumpy, and that is saying something. As for bourbon, I am a cheap date, a woman of simple tastes. I like Maker's Mark. Over a bit of ice, as most places in my world tend to be overheated. P.S. Could you put up some more links to your music? It was cool.

I had a wittier and much less crabby set of answers, but the ethernet ate it. So this is it. This is the list. Yep.

Hey, I'm not old!

[peetie44]

My, how they do pile up.

Boozy: Learn to can. Put up tomato products in various forms; puree, paste, crushed, whole.. Also, tomato juice, for those Bloody Mary emergencys in the fall and winter. And shut the fuck up about my daughter, you old pervert.

Steved: Life is never based on a Douglas Adams book. Rather, Douglas Adams based his books on life. Yes, drinking mass quantities always helps. At least for me, it does. But I could snap at any moment.

Prick: Dianne. That's the name. I think you might be getting as senile as Grumpy. You two should hang out together. Do you smoke cigars?

Peetie: I'm not supposed to go on any board but the Pub, for reasons I cannot remember. And BTW, I believe you are not only older than me, but older than Grumpy, and that is saying something. As for bourbon, I am a cheap date, a woman of simple tastes. I like Maker's Mark. Over a bit of ice, as most places in my world tend to be overheated. P.S. Could you put up some more links to your music? It was cool.

I had a wittier and much less crabby set of answers, but the ethernet ate it. So this is it. This is the list. Yep.

Hey, I'm not old!

All perverts are old when one's daughter is being discussed.

[Mr Boozificator]

Yep, when you're young they call you passionate and charming, but after 30, it's "old pervert" for you. Well, for your information, I was already a pre-teen pervert and always have been a good reliable old school pervert since. No one is half as perv as I am without working on it a bit.

[peetie44]

Yep, when you're young they call you passionate and charming, but after 30, it's "old pervert" for you. Well, for your information, I was already a pre-teen pervert and always have been a good reliable old school pervert since. No one is half as perv as I am without working on it a bit.

Yessir...every mother's dream date for her little girl.

Btw...here's the soundtrack:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w09ukTUUhBY

[Chimneyfish]

Btw...here's the soundtrack:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w09ukTUUhBY

Haha one of the related videos on that page is the best song name I've ever heard: "Pussy Stank (but so do marijuana)"

[gnarkill]

Dear Savage: How would one go about obtaining a monkey that, for reasons anyone could understand, I'd then train to mix my drinks, light my smokes and rollerskate. Would it be worth all the trouble I'd have to go through, and what type of monkey would be best for this sort of thing?

[Savage]

Dear Savage: How would one go about obtaining a monkey that, for reasons anyone could understand, I'd then train to mix my drinks, light my smokes and rollerskate. Would it be worth all the trouble I'd have to go through, and what type of monkey would be best for this sort of thing?

For this, I went to Grumpy. Grumpy says: No monkey could be trained to do these things. For this, you need an ape. I recommend an orangutan or a chimpanzee. With training, they make wonderful bartenders.

Well, that's what he says, and he should know.

But then again, he says I'm a bitch, so what does he know.

[Chimneyfish]

How do blind people know when to stop wiping their ass?