Ask Savage

[GetDrunkStayDrunk]

Whoa.

[ThirstyDrunk]

How do blind people know when to stop wiping their ass?

+1 for Schimmel. R.I.P.

[Chimneyfish]

Yeah dude. He was one of the only guys with set-ups that were really funny even before the punchlines. I love the one about using dental records to identify bodies- "You can't find out who I am but you can find my dentist?"

[Savage]

How do blind people know when to stop wiping their ass?

They ask for help from impartial observers. If no observers are present, or if they are not impartial, they make another pass at it, and hope for the best. On the upside, stains are not something they worry about.

[Negromancer]

Where do babies come from?

[Savage]

Where do babies come from?

They come from mixing gin with vodka with bourbon.

[Wingman]

Dear Savage,
How much more cyberstalking of your daughters before you send someone to kill Boozy?

Thanks,
Concerned Cad

[Mr Boozificator]

Dear Savage,
How much more cyberstalking of your daughters before you send someone to kill Boozy?

Thanks,
Concerned Cad

You're only saying that because I'm an old pervert (do you think they have a facebook account?).

[Wingman]

Dear Savage,
How much more cyberstalking of your daughters before you send someone to kill Boozy?

Thanks,
Concerned Cad

You're only saying that because I'm an old pervert (do you think they have a facebook account?).

if you use facebook, you can't be that old. or maybe i'm just stuck in my ways.

[Mr Boozificator]

Dear Savage,
How much more cyberstalking of your daughters before you send someone to kill Boozy?

Thanks,
Concerned Cad

You're only saying that because I'm an old pervert (do you think they have a facebook account?).

if you use facebook, you can't be that old. or maybe i'm just stuck in my ways.

You got me: I stay away from that thing, but maybe I'll create a fake account and buy some moisturizing anti-age whatever cream.

[peetie44]

Dear Ms Savage,

People are always asking me, "A penny for your thoughts?" But when I reply, they say I'm "putting in my two-cents worth."

Where does that extra penny go?

[NYDingbat]

Dear Savage,

What constitutes the care and feeding of an occasionally under bridge dwelling bluebottle?

A concerned vagrant

[Chimneyfish]

Describe bluebottle in one word

[fiyah]

Dear Savage,

Should I move to California? or wait until the ocean comes to me..

-and-

What is the meaning of a Double Rainbow?

[NYDingbat]

Describe bluebottle in one word

Crazyasssweetoftenincoherentnomad.