Manhattan

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cloud8
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Re: Manhattan

Post by cloud8 »

A Manhattan is, as we have been reminded, is what a Manhattan is: Bourbon or Rye, sweet Vermouth, perhaps bitters and fruit, stirred or rocks. That is what we should call it, lest it degenerate into the Fun City Tini, etc.

I would still like to try Bourbon and a splash of Cognac stirred. Give it a name.
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Smatter Noguts
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Re: Manhattan

Post by Smatter Noguts »

cloud8 wrote:A Manhattan is, as we have been reminded, is what a Manhattan is: Bourbon or Rye, sweet Vermouth, perhaps bitters and fruit, stirred or rocks. That is what we should call it, lest it degenerate into the Fun City Tini, etc.

I would still like to try Bourbon and a splash of Cognac stirred. Give it a name.
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cloud8
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Re: Manhattan

Post by cloud8 »

Fuck you.
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Re: Manhattan

Post by Smatter Noguts »

cloud8 wrote:Fuck you.
You wouldn't enjoy it.

Meanwhile, let's come up with a name for your cocktail.

Frogofuck comes to mind, I'll have to mix one up and consume it to see if it fits.

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Re: Manhattan

Post by MethFront »

OK people, listen up, I'm a' break it down for you.

There are four ingredients to a manhattan: Rye, sweet vermouth, angostura bitters, maraschino cherry.

That's it. You start substitutin' up in that bitch an' it's all some kinda different cocktail what ain't a manhattan, you feel me?

First, you fill a shaker up wit' ice, couldn't give a fuck if it's tap-water or perrier, next you lay in some sweet vermouth like that shit be whip cream on a fat girl's tits... i'm sayin' you don't need a lot cause there's enough tits there to make up for it, so just be light on it. Next you hit it with the rye like you punchin' that same chick in her tits because that's the only way she gets off... no, seriously, I've dated some of those chicks and it's all like, "on paper that sounds hot but in reality it's disconcerting" but you're making a drink motherfucker, so put those concerns behind you with all of those childish things and push through. The rye is the crux, dawg. Next it's time for the bitters and that's all about charm but no commitment, like you gotta kiss a smelly clit in exchange for a blowjob you just wanna tap it lightly, make your point and be outta there. Then you shake, shake, shake like a Belafonte tune and shit, till it's all cold and bruised and then you pour it, bust the cherry with your toothpick and get it on.

THAT is how you make a manhattan.








/with apologies to /b/
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Re: Manhattan

Post by Savage »

But Meth dear, I don't like rye the way I LOVE bourbon. I drink for the delicious taste. So for me, it's settled. Manhattans are made with bourbon.
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Re: Manhattan

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methfront wrote: next you lay in some sweet vermouth like that shit be whip cream on a fat girl's tits... i'm sayin' you don't need a lot cause there's enough tits there to make up for it, so just be light on it.
/with apologies to /b/
Only thing I disagree with is that I find it better to lay the vermouth into the glass at the beginning, a spray bottle works really well to equally disperse it. Or just pour some in, roll it around to coat the glass and dump the drops that don't cling. That way you have the right amount each time.

The major reason I like that method is because even with an idiot bartender I get an equal amount each time. I once ordered a Manhattan at an upscale bar and he literally put equal parts vermouth and bourbon. I drank it, but only because it was free. Terrible drink.
Bourbon is my blood.

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Re: Manhattan

Post by Wingman »

Resident Evil wrote: even with an idiot bartender I get an equal amount each time. I once ordered a Manhattan at an upscale bar and he literally put equal parts vermouth and bourbon.
that guy may have been behind a bar pouring drinks, but he was no bartender. that sounds like a terrible experience.
Stupid should hurt.

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Re: Manhattan

Post by Resident Asshole »

Wingman wrote:
Resident Evil wrote: even with an idiot bartender I get an equal amount each time. I once ordered a Manhattan at an upscale bar and he literally put equal parts vermouth and bourbon.
that guy may have been behind a bar pouring drinks, but he was no bartender. that sounds like a terrible experience.
And he was supposedly a flair bartender from Vegas. Just another reason to not like flair.
Bourbon is my blood.

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Re: Manhattan

Post by Wingman »

Resident Evil wrote: Just another reason to not like flair.
word.

except for the wheelin'-dealin', heart-stealin', stylin', profilin', all-natural son of the south NATURE BOY RICK FLAIR!!! WOO!
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Re: Manhattan

Post by Mayhem »

Wingman wrote:
Resident Evil wrote: Just another reason to not like flair.
word.

except for the wheelin'-dealin', heart-stealin', stylin', profilin', all-natural son of the south NATURE BOY RICK FLAIR!!! WOO!
WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, whenever I see a flair bartender on the tv I want to say just pour me a fucking drink and save the masturbation for the bathroom.
Drink your fucking drink, how about that? Stop the fuckin' presses, isn't it genius??
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Re: Manhattan

Post by Rumhead »

methfront wrote:Then you shake, shake, shake like a Belafonte tune and shit
Don't shake it. It makes it all frothy and wierd tasting.
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Re: Manhattan

Post by Frankennietzsche »

I use rotgut whiskey instead of rye, vodka instead of vermouth and check cola instead of a cherry, mix it in a styrofoam cup and drink it with a straw. Shively style!
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Re: Manhattan

Post by Resident Asshole »

Mayhem wrote: Yeah, whenever I see a flair bartender on the tv I want to say just pour me a fucking drink and save the masturbation for the bathroom.
I will admit I do minor flair when I bartend but never anything that will make me take more time to make your drink. I do simply things like spin the bottle as I pick it up, flip the pint glass on my way to the taps, flip the shaker while shaking, stack shot glasses as I pour them.

I guess I'm a bit of a hypocrite but I make sure that I make quality drinks and don't waste time. Those little tricks are really more for me to keep the job interesting. Oh and my bottle blow brings all the ladies to the sandbox.
Bourbon is my blood.

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Re: Manhattan

Post by Wingman »

Resident Evil wrote: I will admit I do minor flair when I bartend but never anything that will make me take more time to make your drink. I do simply things like spin the bottle as I pick it up, flip the pint glass on my way to the taps, flip the shaker while shaking, stack shot glasses as I pour them.
this. i got accused of doing flair for this at a bar in atlanta (once...). if i'm pulling a bottle from the well, and i'm in a hurry, i'll yank it up and grab the neck or body of it...keeps me from having to bend over as far, too. and i'll spin pint glasses to fling any remaining water out of them, again, if i'm so busy i can't wait on them to dry. stuff like that.

finally started describing myself as a "volume bartender," to potential employers to distance myself from the flairgeeks.
Stupid should hurt.

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