Is this so wrong?

[mcphargus]

First post. ***Self raises glass--clinky's all around and drinks to those that aren't currently in a position to clinky, subsequent drinks for those that consume completely their libations having performed the aforementioned clinky, et cetera.***

Bob is looking for a platonic relationship. Bob's looking for an Alice that will drive him around (bar to bar) so as to avoid the fear and loathing that comes with DUI--and the subsequent DUIs that tend to follow.

Wingmans need not apply. Need's to be a girl. Bob already looks bad because he drives a Chrysler Sebring. We can also assume Bob already posted a personal ad in the paper. Should Bob be caught and shot before he offends and objectifies any more ladies? Is the fact that Bob is only seeking a relationship so that he can be purveyed from bar to bar and permitted to get plastered a Bad Thing? Should Bob completely reevaluate his life?

He wants to know, and he asked me to post this where it might be answered favourably.

[BigDog49]

Get me 15 PBRs asap.

[Satanic The Hedgehog]

tell "bob" to call an escort service.

having said that, ill have a double vodka club, well vodka please.

[peetie44]

Madam Claire Voyánte appears to be under the table, as Bob's duration will be minimalistic, due to a low ABV of existentialistic firmament.

A six-pak of clinkys to go, perhaps four, Bob?

[John Barleycorn]

First post. ***Self raises glass--clinky's all around and drinks to those that aren't currently in a position to clinky, subsequent drinks for those that consume completely their libations having performed the aforementioned clinky, et cetera.***

Bob is looking for a platonic relationship. Bob's looking for an Alice that will drive him around (bar to bar) so as to avoid the fear and loathing that comes with DUI--and the subsequent DUIs that tend to follow.

Wingmans need not apply. Need's to be a girl. Bob already looks bad because he drives a Chrysler Sebring. We can also assume Bob already posted a personal ad in the paper. Should Bob be caught and shot before he offends and objectifies any more ladies? Is the fact that Bob is only seeking a relationship so that he can be purveyed from bar to bar and permitted to get plastered a Bad Thing? Should Bob completely reevaluate his life?

He wants to know, and he asked me to post this where it might be answered favourably.

If Bob is looking for a designated driver, he's in the wrong place.

Also, if there is a woman who is willing to be all time designated driver we'd probably all be knife fighting for her affection.

[nic the chick]

yes. go get booze.

[Wingman]

Wingmans need not apply.

i'm busy that day, anyway. new guy buys. i'll have a pitcher of highlife and a bottle of knob creek, thanks.

[Jiggers McCoy]

So you got some blowback on your weirdo, misogynist craigslist ad? And you need validation? Sorry brah. I had to work hard to snag my female driver (up to and including purchase of a diamond ring), fraid you'll have to as well.

And a couple of them beer tower table taps for me. One of Shiner, one of wild turkey.

[DeeboCools]

Hey, Mr. Barleycorn's on here! I like that dude. Get an avatar sucka.

[Mr Boozificator]

You sound awfully like RIPT, go get me some cognac now.

[BBoozer]

If I were cynical (which I am not) I'd say, get a girl, get her pregnant, and you'll have a designated driver for a long time. Of course, if this were the goal of getting her pregnant, you'd be pretty fucked up in the brain. Now, believe me, a woman that's a teetotaller and always the designated driver is trouble. You need a girl that drinks, and that understands why you're drinking. And more, you'll do your drinking together, and probably won't need to drive.

[John Barleycorn]

If I were cynical (which I am not) I'd say, get a girl, get her pregnant, and you'll have a designated driver for a long time. Of course, if this were the goal of getting her pregnant, you'd be pretty fucked up in the brain.

As illustrated here, if such a policy is pursued long enough you will eventually have children old enough to be your designated drivers.

[Savage]

How about you run an ad for a driver? If you can afford to drink out, you can probably afford to pay someone to drop you off, go away, and pick you up later. There's a lot of students, and out of work folk, looking for a nice under-the-table odd job.

[G_W]

"bob" can go fuck himself, because no one else will.