It's Friday, drunks.

[Rye and Coke]

I have a child and I am about to graduate from college. I'm almost an adult.

Like a stripper who is hanging up her thong, you had to give up rocking the banana hammock.

Congrats on the kid and your upcoming graduation.

I will never give up my the banana hammock.

Nor should you! Sometimes you have to put it all on Front Street and show 'em what you're working with.

Good morning Friday drunks!

"Booze, now more than ever!"

[Rye and Coke]

Alright, screw it. It's closing time some where.

These are the benefits of working from home.

Vodka and Pineapple Mango. ... I'm feeling tropical.

[scream ale]

Friday at last. Just a few more hours then I get to crack open a fresh bottle of rye.

[oettinger]

That was fast. How convenient

[Rye and Coke]

I'm done for the day and am about to make my first Old Fashioned. I don't know who wants to lose a weekend with me, but let's do the damn thing this brutally lonely Easter weekend.

Winston: Hey, Ray. Do you believe in God?
Ray: Never met him.

Neither have I, but I've been introduced to his son and I know what he drank.

What Wine Would Jesus Drink?
https://vinepair.com/wine-geekly/what-w ... sus-drink/

Apparently, for his day, Jesus drank the hard stuff:

Because of no filtration, biblical wine was probably not smooth but a bit harsh from constant exposure to the organic material that we usually filter out today. The added must would increase the alcohol level a bit and extract an extra layer of tannin, making it a bit rough around the edges. But because of the must added, the residual sugar levels would be higher, which would add juicy roundness to the harshness. Red wine would probably be very dark in color, which is probably why in the Bible, Jesus uses it as a symbol for his blood.

For my money, Jesus was a drunkard. Why wouldn't he be?
He was a blue collar working son of a teenage mom. He was always bros over hoes, choosing to hang around his crew only. Plus, he lived in a world where he knew he would inevitably be arrested and thrown in jail over some shit he didn't do, all because he and his boys were consistently being harassed by the cops.

That'd drink any sane man to drink.

[Hugh]

Jesus was a homeless guy running around babbling about being the son of god. He got a bunch of guys to follow him around and believe it. It was on this day that Peter, the biggest oaf of the group, tried to slice the head off an attacker but only cut his ear. Jesus told him to just settle down and healed the dude's ear with a touch of the hand.

Just poured the first glass of wine on this rainy day. It's been raining steadily since last night. The news stations are posting pics of all the flooded roads, but they could just pull them from stock photos as it's always the same spots that flood every time it rains.

Hopefully it will rain hard enough to hear the drops on the vent cap over the kitchen roof. Man, I love that sound.

There's nothing better than getting drunk on a rainy Friday night.

Last night there was a bum seated on the sidewalk right by the liquor store door. The owner was trying to get him to leave, but he refused. One of the bums who is a liquor store regular came by to assist, but the bum on the sidewalk refused to get up. He just kept repeating, over and over, in the most whiny pathetic voice you could imagine, "BUY ME A BEER! BUY ME A BEER!" It was pouring rain during all this. What a perfect scene.

[Dirty Diamond Lou]

I have failed on getting a good drunk on. I think I miss the atmosphere of the bar. I suggested role play to C. She, the surly barmaid. I, the lowlife drunkard.

I really need to take it up a notch. This lackluster behavior is embarrassing.

[Dirty Diamond Lou]

I miss bars. So I had to make do with a poorly stocked, fantasy of being at one.

[Rye and Coke]

I miss bars. So I had to make do with a poorly stocked, fantasy of being at one.

That's a great set-up there my friend. The bartender looks like she's about to 86 you tho', might want to chill with drunken, off color jokes about minorities, the disabled and midgets.

By the way, have you heard the one about the blind, black midget who walked in a bar...

[oettinger]

Nice bar, I`ll have a emm Bacardi maybe, yeah that sounds about right

[Rooster]

I miss bars. So I had to make do with a poorly stocked, fantasy of being at one.

That's a great set-up there my friend. The bartender looks like she's about to 86 you tho', might want to chill with drunken, off color jokes about minorities, the disabled and midgets.

By the way, have you heard the one about the blind, black midget who walked in a bar...

Those are the only jokes that Louie knows.

[Dirty Diamond Lou]

I miss bars. So I had to make do with a poorly stocked, fantasy of being at one.

That's a great set-up there my friend. The bartender looks like she's about to 86 you tho', might want to chill with drunken, off color jokes about minorities, the disabled and midgets.

By the way, have you heard the one about the blind, black midget who walked in a bar...

Please tell me the punch line involves him ordering a Tall White Russian.

[oettinger]

I miss bars. So I had to make do with a poorly stocked, fantasy of being at one.

That's a great set-up there my friend. The bartender looks like she's about to 86 you tho', might want to chill with drunken, off color jokes about minorities, the disabled and midgets.

By the way, have you heard the one about the blind, black midget who walked in a bar...

Please tell me the punch line involves him ordering a Tall White Russian.

Combine: A dirty black martini

[Rye and Coke]

I'm technically still drunk from Thursday, so cheers!

You know what I was thinking? There have to be some speakeasys out there. Someone's GOTTA be skirting the law, opening their bar and serving booze on the low. Or maybe it's some dude in his basement, with a backdoor that only opens when you know the special knock.

Someone's gotta be making money off of this.

[mistah willies]

I'm technically still drunk from Thursday, so cheers!

You know what I was thinking? There have to be some speak-easys out there. Someone's GOTTA be skirting the law, opening their bar and serving booze on the low. Or maybe it's some dude in his basement, with a backdoor that only opens when you know the special knock.

Someone's gotta be making money off of this.

Doubtless there simply MUST be.
At first, simply to empty the open kegs and bleed those lines properly.

But also, well just like this place. DRINK! enjoys company. I swear, I keep seeing folks walk up to The Pour House next door and wait outside for a second, then they disappear inside. Their cars must be parked elsewhere. Nobody walks in Bangor. They snowshoe.