So I had to pee in a jar, Tuesday...

[Bur]

volunteer, hopefully paid and full-time soon.

That's my answer to "What kind of pervert are you?"

[Mr Boozificator]

Are you a fireman Winggy?

volunteer, hopefully paid and full-time soon.

You do understand that we are going to get a glass or twelve together at one point right?

[tomodon]

A bloke on my bus going into work the other morning got off the bus, took one step away, had a piss and got back on the bus. So long as he'd been up the back of the bus - a jar would have been preferable to the other 30-odd passengers.

[Wingman]

That's my answer to "What kind of pervert are you?"

nice. we would have also accepted "sperm donor."

You do understand that we are going to get a glass or twelve together at one point right?

that would do for a start.

[Savage]

Why not piss in the sink? So much more satisfying.

Well, if you're short or your dick is, it might be tricky. But pissing in nature, oh yeah...

I may be short, but my schlong quite extraordinary.

There is a theory, not entirely scientifically tested, that says, the shorter the boy, the longer the schlong. I won't mention my personal experience, but I think someone ought to do a scientific study.

[Mr Boozificator]

There is a theory, not entirely scientifically tested, that says, the shorter the boy, the longer the schlong. I won't mention my personal experience, but I think someone ought to do a scientific study.

Wait, what, no no, it can't be. Savage is an Iron Virgin with no lust in her and she has never seen a schlong in her life. I am sure about that: she'll be my mother in law soon and is definitely therefore an icon of purity and bourbon.
Whoever you are, it is very nasty of you to have hijacked her account in order to spread those lies.

[Savage]

There is a theory, not entirely scientifically tested, that says, the shorter the boy, the longer the schlong. I won't mention my personal experience, but I think someone ought to do a scientific study.

Wait, what, no no, it can't be. Savage is an Iron Virgin with no lust in her and she has never seen a schlong in her life. I am sure about that: she'll be my mother in law soon and is definitely therefore an icon of purity and bourbon.
Whoever you are, it is very nasty of you to have hijacked her account in order to spread those lies.

Ah, but my old frog, I have seen a thing or two in my time. On the other hand, I was almost a nun. So, I straddle the chasm.

[whiskeyprick]

not for work, not for being guilty of a crime, but as part of a pre-trial bond requirement. What kind of happy horseshit is this? I immediately went a 3-day bender afterwards. I've spent the last 2 days being good, responsible and completely fucking bored with the intention of peeing clean if required. FML too. My driver's license has been suspended, so I should be free to drink and drink even more than before. I'm watching my bets on gamecast and I need a fucking drink. Roll the dice.

Wait, hold the phone Myrtle... What did you do?

The girlfriend's car had a brake light out unbeknownst to me. When they pulled me over I refused to blow or give blood, so obviously I'm guilty.

[Mr Boozificator]

not for work, not for being guilty of a crime, but as part of a pre-trial bond requirement. What kind of happy horseshit is this? I immediately went a 3-day bender afterwards. I've spent the last 2 days being good, responsible and completely fucking bored with the intention of peeing clean if required. FML too. My driver's license has been suspended, so I should be free to drink and drink even more than before. I'm watching my bets on gamecast and I need a fucking drink. Roll the dice.

Wait, hold the phone Myrtle... What did you do?

The girlfriend's car had a brake light out unbeknownst to me. When they pulled me over I refused to blow or give blood, so obviously I'm guilty.

If the law is even vaguely similar to the French law, you can not win this, no matter the result of the analysis. Good luck anyway.

[Lush30]

Oh!! I thought this was going to be some good story about being to drunk to find the john and having to find an alternative receptacle in which to deposit your piss hmm ok

[Palinka (RIP)]

The nurses keep complaining that mine autocombusts...

[beerkegbilly]

I had to shit in a jar before man for medical test man it was weird man

[ThirstyDrunk]

I had to shit in a jar before man for medical test man it was weird man

So you had like a jar, a mason jar with shit in it?

[Patchez]

I had to shit in a jar before man for medical test man it was weird man

So you had like a jar, a mason jar with shit in it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8sgbPYaAnQ

[Savage]

not for work, not for being guilty of a crime, but as part of a pre-trial bond requirement. What kind of happy horseshit is this? I immediately went a 3-day bender afterwards. I've spent the last 2 days being good, responsible and completely fucking bored with the intention of peeing clean if required. FML too. My driver's license has been suspended, so I should be free to drink and drink even more than before. I'm watching my bets on gamecast and I need a fucking drink. Roll the dice.

Wait, hold the phone Myrtle... What did you do?

The girlfriend's car had a brake light out unbeknownst to me. When they pulled me over I refused to blow or give blood, so obviously I'm guilty.

Freakin' police state. And after November, it's only gonna get worse.