The Crappy Jokes thread!

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Lush City
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Lush City »

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Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
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oettinger
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by oettinger »

Hahaahahahahaha
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oettinger
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by oettinger »

How do you keep five drunks from raping a woman?

Free beer
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oettinger
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by oettinger »

Darth Vader is scared to call your sister an "overblown Deathstar", because your mother occupied that term for the last 20 years already
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Lush City
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Lush City »

There was a wine tasting at my Jesuit Alma mater. They didn't bill it as such but everyone knew that when you find 4 Jesuits together their will always be a fifth.
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
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calx
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by calx »

I was just listening to an old Tom Waits album and he said "Make like a bakery truck and haul buns."

I thought that was funny. :D
Watch "The Money Masters" on youtube and read "The Creature From Jekyll Island" by G. Edward Griffin to unveil the true enemy.

Innovating the human race to extinction.™

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Lush City
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Lush City »

That's funny!
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
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oettinger
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by oettinger »

Why didn`t Skynet produce jihadist terminators?

Terminators can`t self-destruct.
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whiskeyprick
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by whiskeyprick »

So there I was...

surrounded by 40 Amazon women and a big bowl of candy

all I got was cavities
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by mistah willies »

whiskeyprick wrote: ↑
Sun May 13, 2018 9:26 pm
 So there I was...

surrounded by 40 Amazon women and a big bowl of candy

all I got was cavities
Cavity search! Special silkskin probe for those tall lovelies, of course.
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Lush City
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Lush City »

Read this with a Hebrew accent for maximum effect:

Two chickens were standing on a corner
When along comes a farmer
The farmer says, "Hey chickie, how 'bout a lay"?
The rooster says, "Not with my wife you don't"!
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Nausea
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Nausea »

A termite walked into a bar and asked, "Is the bar tender here?"
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.
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Badfellow
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Badfellow »

If Ella Fitzgerald had married Darth Vader, her name would be Ella Vader.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
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Lush City
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Lush City »

Nausea wrote: ↑
Sun May 20, 2018 8:07 am
 A termite walked into a bar and asked, "Is the bar tender here?"
??? WTF?
Sorry, if you got to explain a joke, you are done.
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Badfellow
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Badfellow »

"Is the bar TENDER, here?"

Hey, at least I didn't have to read it in a Hebrew accent.
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