Getting gifts for dry people.
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
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JimLahey
- Drunker Than God
- Posts: 2104
- Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:32 pm
- Location: Sunnyvale Trailerpark
Getting gifts for dry people.
I have no clue what to buy these aliens. I walked around town and things are so boring. What do you get a person who drinks no booze?
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Casual Binger
- Lord of Benders
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- Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2014 8:19 pm
- Location: NSW, Australia
Re: Getting gifts for dry people.
Porn?JimLahey wrote:I have no clue what to buy these aliens. I walked around town and things are so boring. What do you get a person who drinks no booze?
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Mr. Viking
- Hooching Like Hemingway
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Re: Getting gifts for dry people.
chocolate, flowers, or fancy cheese if they they are of that persuasion. Or unpleasant scented candles
"I spent all of my money on cars, women and booze, the rest of it I squandered" G. Best
Re: Getting gifts for dry people.
Get them booze and show them a more enlightened life.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
Re: Getting gifts for dry people.
Yeah loads, repeat LOADS of booze, take it or leave itPatchez wrote:Get them booze and show them a more enlightened life.
Drink!
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booznik
- King Cockeyed
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Re: Getting gifts for dry people.
My approach is a gift card to a restaurant that has a huge bar. Perhaps they will find their way to the grail-shaped beacon.JimLahey wrote:I have no clue what to buy these aliens. I walked around town and things are so boring. What do you get a person who drinks no booze?
"Booznik. Smooth, classy and manatee-like." --Bur
"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow
"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies
"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo
"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow
"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies
"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo
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Mr. Viking
- Hooching Like Hemingway
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- Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2011 7:23 am
- Location: Norris Green
Re: Getting gifts for dry people.
mousturizer
"I spent all of my money on cars, women and booze, the rest of it I squandered" G. Best
Re: Getting gifts for dry people.
Hahahaha yes!booznik wrote:My approach is a gift card to a restaurant that has a huge bar. Perhaps they will find their way to the grail-shaped beacon.JimLahey wrote:I have no clue what to buy these aliens. I walked around town and things are so boring. What do you get a person who drinks no booze?
The only food they serve are pickles and peanuts*
*recommended though, best nut in town
Drink!
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Palinka (RIP)
- Moderator
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- Location: In The Liquor Cabinet
Re: Getting gifts for dry people.
A punch in the face?
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
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Lush City
- Chugging Like Churchill
- Posts: 5087
- Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2012 7:55 pm
- Location: Nearest tiki lounge
Re: Getting gifts for dry people.
Buy them a cut crystal wine decanter. They are going to hate looking at it and seeing all that empty volume gathering dust.
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
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Frankennietzsche
- Juicing Like Jackie
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Re: Getting gifts for dry people.
Get them a chip. That's what they get in the program.
Or socks. Everybody needs socks.
Or a membership to a merkin of the month club
Or socks. Everybody needs socks.
Or a membership to a merkin of the month club
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
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Freddie AppsHero
- Lord of Benders
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- Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2011 6:47 am
Re: Getting gifts for dry people.
Get them something symbolically near-alcoholic. Something fermented, like cheese, or Vegemite, or sauerkraut, or surströmming.
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Palinka (RIP)
- Moderator
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- Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2003 7:29 pm
- Location: In The Liquor Cabinet
Re: Getting gifts for dry people.
A collection of interesting anecdotes and stories because, let's face it, they aren't going to have any of their own, are they?
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
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peetie44
- Juicing Like Jackie
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- Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2008 3:05 am
- Location: Belgium, Austin TX, SoCal, Branson MO, Cape Cod MA
Re: Getting gifts for dry people.
Underwear and socks.
"Man i once bought $101 worth of insect candy because it was free shipping on orders over 100 bucks." -- ThirstyDrunk
"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be
"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be
Re: Getting gifts for dry people.
A corkscrew
I might edit: In a huge carton, wrapped in lots of paper like it`s something easily breakable. The looks on their faces...
I might edit: In a huge carton, wrapped in lots of paper like it`s something easily breakable. The looks on their faces...
Drink!