Smokers Corner

[booznik]

Sometimes I find teeth in my pocket. These are not mine.

Is that the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?

[Lush City]

Buck Owens - "Cigarettes Whiskey And Wild Wild Women"
http://youtu.be/v4rY52SWklc

[booznik]

What?

WHAAAAAT?

I don't smoke, but that's bullshit.

Genuine steer manure.

Somebody's getting paid to promote this nonsense.

[Mr. Viking]

I keep my cigarettes in a tin though, to stop them getting smushed

[Mr. Viking]

maybe I'll be made to paint it taupe, or olive drab

[Lush City]

What?

WHAAAAAT?

I don't smoke, but that's bullshit.

Genuine steer manure.

Somebody's getting paid to promote this nonsense.

Why do you want to castrate us? Smokes are your last refuge. That's what they give to the condemned man before the firing squad!

[oettinger]

Oh hey booznik nice to see you in this corner of the pub! Did you fare well burning through that pack?

[oldsmartskunk]

Smoking will turn your your penis into limpy floppy mess! Saggy titties also come from this harmfull activity. I have never smoked. I don't see any pleasur in smoking. It's just isn't there.

[Palinka (RIP)]

A Doctor writes,"Stay in the Pink with Ciggies and Drink!"

[oettinger]

Bouncy titties also come from this absolutely cool activity

Yes thank you, mine seem to hang fine!
Che-..., cough cough
...-ers

[Mr. Viking]

smoking cheap cigars and stripping plaster is not a good idea. I think I've coughed up half my bodyweight in phlegm

[Lush City]

It's a shame you all never acquired the taste for a fine cigar. Simply mouthwatering! (You don't have to inhale).

[oldsmartskunk]

George Carlin on cigars: Bunch of white pussies smoking big brown dicks. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes it's a big brown dick!

[Palinka (RIP)]

I like a good cigar once in a very great while... I have no idea how to select a good one, but I seem to find decent cigars anyway.

You have several choices for means to find good cigars:

1) Hang out with someone who smokes good cigars and hope that s/he will offer you one, every now and then. That or they'll either give you a lesson in how to differentiate a good cigar from a bad one.

2) Find a Cigar Bar where they will offer you a menu full of selected good cigars (usually with drink recommendations alongside each cigar). In such a place you will find that you will absorb a fair amount of knowledge, almost by osmosis, and such establishments often offer lessons in everything from cigar appreciation to how to roll your own cigar (and how to select a blend of tobacco for it).

4) Find a local tobacconist (make sure that it is one with a walk-in humidor) and allow the owner to guide you with your selections (be prepared to drop a chunk of change, although it will be cheaper than the Cigar Bar option).

5) Use an online tobacconist, such as this one*. Many offer a "club" type service, where you'll be sent a variety of cigars to try, each month, at a cut rate and in a disposable humidor (to ensure that their product arrives in good nick). This is one of the cheapest options and once you've found styles of cigar and types of tobacco, for those cigars, you can then bulk order your favourites (having already obtained a humidor that is in good working order), at a discount, so you'll have a cigar for every occasion, close at hand, and all that will be left is to install a liquor cabinet that will be well-stocked with ports, brandies, whiskies etc, to ensure that you have the perfect drink to go with each cabinet.

6) Take a holiday to Cuba, visit a few cigar manufacturers and smoke lots of fantastic cigars whilst drinking a great deal of excellent rums (and then pester your Senator, Congressman, President etc, to stop the embargo on Cuba and their products).

I hope that this is of some use to you. All the best of your expedition into the world of all things cigar-based**.
Your friendly neighbourhood moderator,
P.

* One of the benefits of using a European mail-order tobacconist is that they will be happy to send you proper Cuban, Havana cigars (not like the "Cuban Cigars" available in the USA, which are made from tobacco plants from Cuba but are grown, processed and made in places like the Dominican Republic). You really should treat yourself to a proper Cuban Cigar. Indeed, if you want to drop me (or "Hardcore Stig","peetie44" or "One for the Frog") a PM, I am sure that one of us could organise sending you a pukka Havana cigar.
** <sigh> Insert Monica Lewinsky-based joke here.

[Smatter Noguts]

Well, sorry my dear Palinka but bullshit on Cuba and the fraudulent mobsters who rule it, may they burn in Hell. And anyone who supports thier terrorist regime, and by that I mean anyone who travels to or conducts business with psychotic killers like the Castro brothers, needs be ashamed of themselves.

I'm priviledged to have met and briefly known John Voelker aka Robert Traver who wrote Trout Madness and Anatomy of a Murder and was taught the appreciation of the outdoor twisted Italian charoot and it's anti-bug properties while fly casting, which is the better local for the weed, given that the smoking laws are what they are for taverns and the good Garcia Vega stuff seems no longer available. Outdoors in Michigan in April. Heaven.