little known facts about Oettinger

A place for general talk.

Moderators: NYDingbat, oettinger, Judge, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator, Artful Drunktective, mistah willies

Post Reply
User avatar
mistah willies
Drinking Like W.C.
Drinking Like W.C.
Posts: 6655
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2013 9:48 pm
Location: A ship upon the vast ocean of the Mighty MDM
Contact:

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by mistah willies »

ThirstyDrunk wrote:
Fri Mar 15, 2019 4:50 pm
Nausea wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 4:26 pm
He tugged on his wittle pee-pee a little too hard when discovering masturbation and now has friction burns.
He thought he had genital warts but the doctor informed him they are callouses.
When the doctor froze them off, some of the stronger ones crawled around and spawned new Oettingers. They are tiny, but growing at an alarming pace. He keeps tripping over them.
The doctor in his exam room,
patients too.

Someday, all of the booze will be gone.

User avatar
Badfellow
Ripped Like Reed
Ripped Like Reed
Posts: 8681
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
Location: Inside the Ethyl Molecule

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by Badfellow »

He had genital warts, but thought they were congenial warts instead and ended up winning 2nd place in the Miss Wupperdorf competition.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

User avatar
oettinger
Juicing Like Jackie
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 10510
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:23 am

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by oettinger »

mistah willies wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:28 pm


When the doctor froze them off, some of the stronger ones crawled around and spawned new Oettingers. They are tiny, but growing at an alarming pace. He keeps tripping over them.
The doctor in his exam room,
patients too.

Someday, all of the booze will be gone.
Whoops I layed an egg there.


But trust me, I`m the first one to kill any competition. Even the own offdrink is not save. Those fuckers will loathe the day they were born with a thirst
Drinking heavily is a basic instinct
Image

User avatar
Badfellow
Ripped Like Reed
Ripped Like Reed
Posts: 8681
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
Location: Inside the Ethyl Molecule

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by Badfellow »

Here's a brief list of things he did as a young adult to get high:

*Huffed spray paint behind a dumpster at the gas station

*Put his head in the microwave

*Lots of fond but hazy jenkem memories

*Put a plastic shopping bag over his head

*Smoked catnip laced with oven cleaner

*Ate a pill off the ground at the bus stop, possibly cheap North Korean crystal meth

*Snorted his dad's boner medication

*Did multipe bum wine enemas

*Scraped the resin out of his Russian buddy's crack pipe

*Injected elephant tranquilizers into his balls

*Dropped acid at a Celine Dion concert

*Grew a batch of psychedelic mushrooms on a pile of his own dirty socks
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

User avatar
Artful Drunktective
Hooching Like Hemingway
Hooching Like Hemingway
Posts: 3067
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:00 pm
Location: Yautja Prime

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Badfellow wrote:
Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:13 pm

*Snorted his dad's boner medication
So thaat's why (according to his mom) his dad can't get a stiffy. Oett snorted it all away.
"Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze".


Image

User avatar
Bur
Drinking God's Good Scotch
Drinking God's Good Scotch
Posts: 2964
Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 12:55 am
Location: Finland

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by Bur »

He is my real dad.

User avatar
Badfellow
Ripped Like Reed
Ripped Like Reed
Posts: 8681
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
Location: Inside the Ethyl Molecule

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by Badfellow »

Bur wrote:
Wed Mar 20, 2019 2:48 pm
He is my real dad.
You're 50% neanderthal?
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

User avatar
Badfellow
Ripped Like Reed
Ripped Like Reed
Posts: 8681
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
Location: Inside the Ethyl Molecule

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by Badfellow »

*His two remaining brain cells are completely unaware of each others existence.

*He drools pure vodka. Bottom shelf.

*His second favorite Schwarzenegger film in Hercules In New York.

*He calls his mullet "Rapunzel".

*Young children start crying when they smell him.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

User avatar
Artful Drunktective
Hooching Like Hemingway
Hooching Like Hemingway
Posts: 3067
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:00 pm
Location: Yautja Prime

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by Artful Drunktective »

He only listens to music bands that have names consisting of umlauts such as Motörhead.
"Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze".


Image

User avatar
Patchez
Chugging Like Churchill
Chugging Like Churchill
Posts: 5560
Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:41 pm
Location: South Central, PA

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by Patchez »

He is an actual umlaut.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

User avatar
Badfellow
Ripped Like Reed
Ripped Like Reed
Posts: 8681
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
Location: Inside the Ethyl Molecule

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by Badfellow »

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Tue Apr 02, 2019 9:08 am
He only listens to music bands that have names consisting of umlauts such as Motörhead.
Don't forget Ü2. And their lead singer Böno.

Patchez wrote:
Tue Apr 02, 2019 9:14 pm
He is an actual umlaut.
He holds double umlaut status. Just like his favorite bad boys of rock n' roll Mötley Crüe.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

User avatar
Artful Drunktective
Hooching Like Hemingway
Hooching Like Hemingway
Posts: 3067
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:00 pm
Location: Yautja Prime

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by Artful Drunktective »

He passed out drunk in his computer chair so I wheeled him into the bedroom and dumped him on the bed and he didn't even bat an eye. Thankfully we do not have any stairs or that may have been a much more difficult task. I would have to invest in a chair lift that reclines.

Image
"Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze".


Image

User avatar
Artful Drunktective
Hooching Like Hemingway
Hooching Like Hemingway
Posts: 3067
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:00 pm
Location: Yautja Prime

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by Artful Drunktective »

This plate of food was also sitting in front of him while he was passed out. It's dubbed the Oettinger Drunken Mixed Plate consisting of:

Pasta
Tomato
Salami
Tater Tots
Assorted cheeses
Peas
Onions
Corn
Ground beef
Olives
probably some bird seed
and whatever he may have picked up off the floor

All we are missing are some baked beans and hot dogs!


Image
"Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze".


Image

User avatar
Nausea
Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
Posts: 1459
Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:15 am

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by Nausea »

Wow that looks terrible. It reminds me of the scene in Star Wars where Luke slices open that animal-llama-thingy to sleep inside for warmth.
Oh God, my grandmother would kill me.

User avatar
oettinger
Juicing Like Jackie
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 10510
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:23 am

Re: little known facts about Oettinger

Post by oettinger »

Had it for lunch today. It was delicious
Drinking heavily is a basic instinct
Image

Post Reply