Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

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oettinger
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by oettinger »

When he was super loaded on EW he recorded a hymn about himself... Thisrty boy, beer toy
Five gallons of beer? Interesting. And what was served for main course?
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oettinger
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by oettinger »

His parents were so afraid of him, they weren`t talking to him until his 21st birthday.

He is so cool they started naming plane crashes after him.

Adolf Hitler volunteered into suicide after smelling his alcohol breath.

The Terminator tried to travel back in time again just to escape his presence.

There has a table to be found yet wich he didn`t drink you under
Five gallons of beer? Interesting. And what was served for main course?
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Frankennietzsche
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by Frankennietzsche »

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“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

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oettinger
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by oettinger »

Long before Jesus, the dinosaurs said upon spotting him: "No thank you, you mammals deal with that shit yourself! We better leave on a high note."
It became the first recorded Jones-Town in drunkard history
Five gallons of beer? Interesting. And what was served for main course?
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Badfellow
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by Badfellow »

He saves his belly button lint to knit scarves, sweaters and other holiday gifts for his friends.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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Bur
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by Bur »

He prefer's bacon to empty bottles of bourbon as a night time snack, but only slightly and on Tuesdays.

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oettinger
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by oettinger »

He has his own cage at the local zoo where he crashes from time to time. The sing says "Hungover party animal". Spectators beware though, he is throwing poo when waking up!
Five gallons of beer? Interesting. And what was served for main course?
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Frankennietzsche
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by Frankennietzsche »

His automobile of choice is a 1979 AMC Pacer in banana yellow.
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

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Patchez
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by Patchez »

He'll buy a $101 worth of candied insects because orders over $100 were free shipping.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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oettinger
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by oettinger »

They call "last call" a week in advance knowing his usual order
Five gallons of beer? Interesting. And what was served for main course?
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oettinger
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by oettinger »

He is called "customer of the year" at three different whisky distilleries
Five gallons of beer? Interesting. And what was served for main course?
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oettinger
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by oettinger »

His wet dreams badly reek of alcohol
Five gallons of beer? Interesting. And what was served for main course?
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Bur
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by Bur »

He still doesn't know the difference between powdered glass and salt.

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oettinger
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by oettinger »

Inhaling a fresh breeze out off Thirsty`s throat his dentist immediatly became a serious alcoholic.
Five gallons of beer? Interesting. And what was served for main course?
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Cliffie S. Bockerson
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Re: Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

Post by Cliffie S. Bockerson »

1. He likes crickets. Likes them likes them.

2. He buys crickets over the internet. Menthols.

3. He eats crickets.

4. He has a terrible fear of sodium vapor lights, parking lots, and vulcanized rubber.

5. He whistles cricket music.

6. He pins a dried cricket to his collar every day, like a flower.

7. He squeezes crickets and squirts you with cricket juice.

8. He does with crickets what Crispin Glover did with roaches in Wild at Heart (I think it was).

9. He attends regular pesticide protests in black spandex with black licorice glued to his forehead.

10. He's fond of the 30-pack, well into which he purchases more crickets.
"Nossir. Even in my worst delirium I never interfered with the flow of traffic. I never drank any hair tonic, either."

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