Shit Talkers Bar and Grill

[oettinger]

Fresh left-over cream from last sundays "STD-lick-contest" in every irish coffee ordered before 4!

[Badfellow]

That's right, folks.

When Chef Wolfgang Squalormann say he has fresh crabs, he isn't talking about seafood.

[oettinger]

Thin jizzy are said to be playing the whole knight of their Nothing untouched tour.
Enter before noon and three out of four drinks might be yours.
Enter single come out as father they say about their shows.
Ranks on the billboard low 500 as the easiest way to get laid n drunk, and aids.
Win 2 tickets to paradise at this redneck weekends monstertruck rambling: Fuel rocks Cruel. *
*All participants must be older than 10, be able to hold a gun, be drunk, or both

[Badfellow]

In a grimy corner of the lounge where people have been known to take a leak while nobody is looking, Amateur Psycho-Analysis Night is under way. The professor of psychology from Bukowski Community College has already consumed six pitchers of Steel Sphincter Special Extreme Reserve Maximum Ice Malt Liquor...

Ja, the subject drank a whole bottle of vodka with some power steering fluid, and now he is nutty as a fruitcake...

A 19-year old drunk named Butt Rose dies, attributed to self-inflicted wounds and malnutrition. After news of it spreads across bar, a secular bartender named Father Richard More is arrested and sent to brewery. The alcoholicdiocese wishes for Father More to plead loaded, in order for the incident to be covered up in cocktails.

You think I am kidding, ja? This guy is bat-shit crazy drunk! Don't let him near your children!

Butt sees her butt covers roll themselves down, and a great weight pins her in a bar along with a force which also proceeds to fuddle her and seemingly to possess her momentarily. Through these episodes Butt wonders if they are true or just a drunk hallucination...

But, sometimes a Butt Rose is just a Butt Rose.

[Patchez]

gimme some of that Ghetto grape.

I have an idea on how to keep people from shitting in the urinal. A shit kicker bar near me used to just screw raingutter to the wall with a downhill lean leading to the drain. Narrow enough to make shiting in hard but wide enough to piss in. If someone does shit in it..... no need to clean, cheap enough you just chuck the shitty one and get a new one under 25 bucks.

[mistah willies]

But, sometimes a Butt Rose is just a Butt Rose.

Drink Specials? What is this on the list?

Butt Rosé - $1 per butt shot glass

Brown Flower - $2 for extra tar

Rim Shot -$3 for extra tongue.

What the hell is going on in this place?

[oettinger]

Tonight is Grim Reaper specials, for a buck fifty you`ll be left sucking your thumb in fetal position. Make sure to ask for extra lighter fuel and battery acid.

[oettinger]

Found a flyer for STB&G on the street, on the backside there was a little add:


18-and-younger.org
Your perfect guide to a smooth bourbon

[Badfellow]

Transcript from call placed to Cornhole county dispatch, 4:22 PM on Fri. 4-29-16


Operator- "911. What is your emergency?"

Caller- "For fuck sake! Shut the fuck up! I got 'em on the phone!"

Operator- "Hello?"

Caller- "Hello? Sorry about that. I need you to send an ambulance."

Operator- "What is the nature of your emergency, sir?"

Caller- "Yeah. This is Lenny at Shit Talkers. The cook went crazy again."

Operator- "Oh, hey Lenny! It's Wanda! How's it goin', honey?"

Caller- "Not to shabby. You comin' down after work to shake them sweet titties of yours?"

Operator- "You know it. I'll be done at 8. So you say the cook went off his rocker, then?"

Caller- "Damn straight, Wanda! That crazy German cocksucker drank a whole bottle of Bosnian brandy before his shift, then he started in on the model airplane glue and talkin' about Hitler again. Bobby-Sue said she saw him smokin' on some devil-weed out behind the cesspool. Look out there, Molesto! He's got the baseball bat! Christ, Wanda. You better send Sheriff Stinkman down here too. Tell him to bring the tranquilizer darts."

Operator- "Will do, sugar. See you tonight."

[Patchez]

Did you know the label on a bottle of Ketamine says, for use on big cats and lower primates.

[Badfellow]

Did you know the label on a bottle of Ketamine says, for use on big cats and lower primates.

I just so happen to be a lower primate myself. Very, very low.

[peetie44]

Did you know the label on a bottle of Ketamine says, for use on big cats and lower primates.

I just so happen to be a lower primate myself. Very, very low.

[Badfellow]

Take it from Ernie Ladd, folks...



Big Cat gonna body slam the mofo who don't get their drink on at Shit Talkers Bar & Grill!


---MONDAY SPECIAL---

* Half pint shots of Ron Muerto 151 White Rum - $3
* Old English 800, 5 gal. bucket - $12
* Listerine Gin Fizz - $3

[mistah willies]

Damn. RUm is meant to be black mole-asses. Sweet and not so tidey. Who makes vodka out of rum?

Why would they?

*Ahem8

Hey

is there a layered shot of black rum, black coffee
balck sout

black stout

that can wake me up for the stagger?

No, no special K.

Thatts' for berrk

brekky.


Hey'1

HEY!

can I get a bucket with out the contianers?

[Tarcek]

Is that broken glass in the peanut bucket?