Blackout Island Tiki Lounge

[GraveyardShiftChuck]

Say Baddie, do you know of any other scorpion owners in town? If you do, there could be a slot in the meeting room on Sunday nights. Scorpion Sundays does have a good ring to it.

Remember folks, Blackout Island Tiki Lounge is located in the fabulous Stickitt Inn Motel (great hourly rates!), just shy of Downtown.

[Paninaro]

Can I have six shots of Jose gold and 15 minutes with Juanita?

[Paninaro]

Willie: Bring Your Rooster Night is Tuesday Night, Bring Your Pit Bull Night is Thursday Night. Please do not get the two mixed up.

When is "bring your Lhasa Apso and your West Highland White Terrier night"? I've got one of each.

Incidentally, if anyone wants to buy a Lhasa Apso (three careless owners) or a West Highland White Terrier (cancerous) then they're yours for a bottle of Wild Turkey apiece.

Excelsior!

[GraveyardShiftChuck]

Top of the morning to ya, Pain. I know, it's Irish, not Scottish, but I don't know the Scottish greeting, and besides, you're all Celts, right?

Cuervo coming up, but you've got to talk to Juanita yourself. The bartenders and bouncers are not pimps here. When it comes to "companionship," our waitresses are "independent contractors." This way, we don't get blamed if the john's really an undercover cop. Only what she does on her shift is our business. Afterwards, it's all hers.

Now about the dogs. Bring Your Pit Bull Night also welcomes part-pit bulls and other dogs with a little fight in them, if you know what I mean. As for your dogs? We're just not interested. Maybe one of the other owners might take them off your hands Thursday night. Just don't be too concerned about what happens to them after you sell them.

Thank you for your patronage here at Blackout Island Tiki Lounge.

[GraveyardShiftChuck]

And now for a few announcements concerning you, our dear customers here at Blackout Island.

First, we've been getting plenty of compliments from many of you regarding how clean Blackout Island is - and our cleaning staff and even bartenders and barbacks like to keep it that way - from cleaning up immediately after you after you've been carried out, to making sure that every used cocktail napkin is thrown away - especially those with writing on them. So if you've written something down and you really need the information, please keep it on you at all times at Blackout Island. Please don't assume it will be there when you leave, even if you're using the restrooms.

Second, even though it's very hard to get a cellphone or Wi-Fi signal at Blackout Island (and they keep it that way by jamming those signals), some of you still take out your phone or tablet and try to connect. Blackout Island is the calm and tranquil eye of this radio frequency maelstrom - let's keep it that way! Anyone who repeatedly uses their phone or tablet (especially the camera feature) will be asked to leave. Please don't mistake our bouncers' friendliness for weakness. Our wait staff might be all Mexican, but when it comes to bouncers, we keep it real by hiring the biggest, beefiest Samoans we can find. And those of you who saw how any one of them can carry out even the biggest, most blacked out individuals know that they can carry them out, too - no matter how conscious they are. So if you must make a call, use the pay phones by the restrooms, or ask the manager or bartenders if you can use the land line at the bar.

And last, and on a more positive note, our executive chef, Chris "Frenchy" LeBeouf, has come up with some tasty new items for our grill menu! Now you can enjoy:

Grilled Chicken Breast Sandwiches, glazed in your choice of Bourbon BBQ, Citrus-Rum, Habanero-Pepper Vodka, or new Honey (Bourbon) BBQ!
As always, half-price on Wednesdays!

Pulled Pork Sandwiches, sauced as above

Beer Battered (and hot vodka injected) Popcorn Shrimp

Grilled (and hot vodka injected) Shrimp, glazed as above,

and our special Shrimp Cocktail (and they MEAN cocktail, with vodka injected shrimp and a Bloody Mary cocktail sauce with extra vodka added after the sauce is made)!

As always, we thank you for your patronage at Blackout Island Tiki Lounge, located in the fabulous Stickitt Inn Motel, "Where our guests always come first!"

[Paninaro]

This fucking jukebox just took my money and only plays the girl from ipinima on loop. No Pet Shop Boys?

[GraveyardShiftChuck]

Sorry about that, Pain. Actually, the juke box is just for show. The sound system's really connected to this iPod. It must have been knocked over and stuck on loop. There. That should fix it.

[Paninaro]

Girls, boys, art, pleasure. Passion, love, sex, money, violence, religion, injustice, death.

[GraveyardShiftChuck]

(OH, PANinaro. Had that song when I had their video compilation.)

BTW, folks, when I type like this, I'm speaking as the owner/manager of Blackout Island. (When I type like this, I'm like behind the scenes, showing you what really goes on here, in case you didn't figure it out.)

[Paninaro]

Armani, Armani, A, A, Armani.

[Badfellow]

Say Baddie, do you know of any other scorpion owners in town? If you do, there could be a slot in the meeting room on Sunday nights. Scorpion Sundays does have a good ring to it.

Well, Charlie most of my scorpion karaoke pals shoot .416 Chey down at the quarry on Sundays, 500m minimum, but we might make an exception.

[Paninaro]

Can I have a pint of Guinness with a shot of bourbon in it?

[GraveyardShiftChuck]

Baddie: OK, I'll keep a Sunday night slot open for next month.

Pan: Sure thing.

[Artful Drunktective]

This fucking jukebox just took my money and only plays the girl from ipinima on loop. No Pet Shop Boys?

Yeah bring the Pet Shop Boys on! Is there an Alternative Night?

[GraveyardShiftChuck]

Like I told Pan earlier, the sound system's hooked up an iPod with a pretty diverse musical line-up. Of course, it wouldn't be a proper tiki bar if we didn't have plenty of the classic exotica songs by Martin Denny, Les Baxter, Pres Parado and the like.