World Weekly MDM News

[Badfellow]

Hey folks,

Dr. Dick Badfellow here with your weekly health tip from World MDM News, sponsored by Steel Sphincter Reserve Malt Liquor.

***If you're still suffering from constipation, you probably aren't getting enough cheap beer in you diet. Try adding a few Pizza Rolls as roughage.***

Thanks,
And remember, live well and GFY.

[Patchez]

***If you're still suffering from constipation, you probably aren't getting enough cheap beer in you diet. Try adding a few Pizza Rolls as roughage.***

Leaving the box on the Pizza Rolls while in the microwave you can double the roughage and improve the taste.

[oettinger]

***If you're still suffering from constipation, you probably aren't getting enough cheap beer in you diet. Try adding a few Pizza Rolls as roughage.***

Leaving the box on the Pizza Rolls while in the microwave you can double the roughage and improve the taste.

The original sin!

[ThirstyDrunk]

New legislation to make your flesh creep will be re-introduced to the senate this week, ans ther sin't a thing you or I can do to stop it.
The Senator responsible, a person one's sanity we must surely question, states that he does not know exactly what is in the bill, but it will surely be upsetting for retirees, particularly disturbing to young people, and would in general keep most right minded people awake at night in a cold sweat worrying about it.

[Badfellow]

Whitelaw Reid would be proud of what you're doing here.

[ThirstyDrunk]

Whitelaw Reid would be proud of what you're doing here.

Your knowledge of pre-twister Xenia history is impressive.

[Badfellow]

Whitelaw Reid would be proud of what you're doing here.

Your knowledge of pre-twister Xenia history is impressive.

You should hire me as an investigative journalist for your fine publication. Thirsty people want to know!

I also do cartoons and fart noises.

[Badfellow]

You know I adopted that kid with the steel boomerang, right? He's related to Bat Boy, second cousin.

[ThirstyDrunk]

You know I adopted that kid with the steel boomerang, right? He's related to Bat Boy, second cousin.

Feral child? Yep, he's from Xenia.

[oettinger]

You know I adopted that kid with the steel boomerang, right? He's related to Bat Boy, second cousin.

Feral child? Yep, he's Xenia.

Ahh what da fuck really??!!!???!!!?

[ThirstyDrunk]

THIS THREAD HAS BEEN PURCHASED BY A MAJOR MEDIA OUTLET AND WILL SOON BE SUPPLYING IMPORTANT INFORMATION TO THE DRUNKEN PUBLIC.
PLEASE STAND BY

[mistah willies]

^ ^ ^

I'm in

[oettinger]

I once sold my balls to an MAJOR MEDIA OUTLET
It feels like selling your soul but doesn`t hurt at all.
No regrets. No ballz no problems B.I.G. says

[Badfellow]

EXPERTS AGREE: "WE'RE FUCKED!"

"We are completely fucked," said Prof. Hans Drizzleschitz to the UN General Assembly on Friday. "Completely and utterly fucked. I mean, like, game over, man. Game over."

Prof. Drizzleschitz isn't just blathering about the environment and impending climate change. There is also a corresponding degree of social and cultural decay found in the results of his recent scientific study.

"Rotten," said Drizzleschitz. "Like the inside of a fallen log all full of bugs and shit. Fuck, I need a drink."

Furthermore, survey data from a pool of more than ten thousand chumps and asshole reveals an even more alarming trend:

78% Don't give a shit
24% Can't do basic math
19% Fuck you, I'm drinking the rent money
7% Too busy masturbating
4% Taylor Swift fans
2% Belong to Illumimati


"Amazing stuff," said the President. "Gives me a boner for the future of this country. We need to make more scientists and more surveys great again."

[oettinger]

Now that`s alarming.
Why wasn`t I asked about my stupid opinion?