World Weekly MDM News

[ThirstyDrunk]

All the news that's fit to print:
TOP STORIES THIS WEEK

*BADFELLOW 2020
does consistent celebrity appointees lose support among rustbelt drunkards? Poll

*SANCTIONS LIFTED AGAINST THE SHED
Pabst 40's back to buck fitty. Locals rejoice.

* SHIT TALKERS TO ADD ADDITIONAL PARKING
Methlab fire adds parking spaces to local establishment.

Also in this issue:
-Interpol still seeking The Oett for questioning
-Rooster and Sarge, long time posters, come out of the closet
-Patchez's secret plan to paintball the president-elect


All this and more when you subscribe to MDM World News Weekly

[NYDingbat]

Where is the Love and Hilarity button for this post?

[oettinger]

2-0
let`s go for it

[Badfellow]

Look, I supported this rag when it first came out. But I was also expecting hard-liver journalism and a lot more slander against other people's character. And not a single news item about the Kardashians. Have you even been drinking?

I plan on taking a shit sometime this week, and it would be nice to sit down and have something of merit to read.

[ThirstyDrunk]

All the news that's fit to wipe your ass with

TOP STORIES FOR THE FIRST WEEK OF DECEMBER '16

*NEW LOCAL ESTABLISHMENT OPENS
Combative fucktard Jimmy Lester opens "The Hole"
- investigative reporter Dear Booze was brave enough to enter and gives an in depth report
--RELATED ARTICLE - Local residents complain of stale semen odor.

*SHIT TALKERS BAR AND GRILL RAISES WT101 PRICES
one for the price of two, drink comes with titty flash, whether you want it or not.

*GUNSHOTS HEARD AT THE SHED
bottom shelf shots drank, normal weekend occurrence, 1 fatality, dozens found unconscious and presumed inebriated.

EDITORIAL
*Badfellow tells of the lonely life of a drunkard forum moderator in this weeks editorial entitled:
"Send me fucking booze you bunch of ignorant unappreciative drunken fuckwits"
***WARNING: contains harsh language and flowery prose***

POLITICS
*NEW ORANGUTAN-ELECT PROMISES TO KEEP BOURBON DISTILLERIES IN BOURBONIA
Also promises to bring Scotch distilleries back to America where they belong.

Also in this issue:
-unsolvaeble croswrod puzzel submitted by DivaBitch
-Real life horror stories - Bur tells the sordid tale of two weeks with a dry neck
-Enter our contest and win!
Frankennietzsche showed us his Netflix queue! Can you guess his top ten shows?
(Hint: It's not all Nazi Mega-Machines and conspiracy theories!)

That's all for this week so GFY.
See ya next week in World Weekly MDM News!

[oettinger]

Cool, I can quit the onion now

[Badfellow]

Which one of you sock puppets had the nerve to down-vote the World Weekly MDM News?

[oettinger]

Which one of you sock puppets had the nerve to down-vote the World Weekly MDM News?

Prolly DivaBitch, DearBooze or FKR or Thirstydrunk. From here on I have to guess

You - nah
Me - hmm
Mr Viking -damn close
Screwball- fudge that might be it

[Patchez]

Point of fact the whole paintball thing was just a practice Assasination run. I figure if I can get to Badfellow I could get to the people I need to in order to clear the way for Badfellow's presidrunkency.

[Badfellow]

Point of fact the whole paintball thing was just a practice Assasination run. I figure if I can get to Badfellow I could get to the people I need to in order to clear the way for Badfellow's presidrunkency.

Remind me to give you the access codes for the paintball rail gun satellite.

[Dear Booze]

Where's the latest issue?

[Badfellow]

Doesn't come out until Friday.

Guess I'll just have to drink until then.

[ThirstyDrunk]

Yes, the World Weekly MDM News comes out on Fridays but, like the proper MDM Magazine (YES, there is a magazine!), it is not bound to the realities of undrunk realtime, and may be issued earlier or later than the time schedule due to excessive drunkeness.
That being said, since there were no participants in last weeks contest I may give out the answers later today, giving just a little more time for those last minute procrastinators to submit their entries. So get those entries in fast, you have a good chance of winning since there is little competition.

[mistah willies]

1. D&D Makeovers
2. How It's Made by Freemasons
3. Beliebe It Or Not
4. Dr. Whodunnit's Time Travel Murder Mystery Hour
5. KK and the Self-Stealin' Media Whores of Planet Ego
6. 101 Uses for Tinfoil and Duct Tape
7. Canada Wishes
8. Everything's Connected with Super Strings
9. The Truth About Everything
10. Everything Else

[Badfellow]

That contest was fo rizzle, yo?


10. Little House On The Prairie
9. Jack Van Impe Presents
8. Walker: Texas Ranger
7. The Golden Girls
6. Ancient Alien Freemasons
5. C-SPAN2 Hotties In Congress
4. Airwolf
3. Xena Warrior Princess
2. NCIS: Saskatchewan
1. The Smurfs