World Weekly MDM News

[oettinger]

Where`s the new issue? Mom needs her crossword while shitting!

[Rooster]

All the news that's fit to print:
TOP STORIES THIS WEEK

*BADFELLOW 2020
does consistent celebrity appointees lose support among rustbelt drunkards? Poll

*SANCTIONS LIFTED AGAINST THE SHED
Pabst 40's back to buck fitty. Locals rejoice.

* SHIT TALKERS TO ADD ADDITIONAL PARKING
Methlab fire adds parking spaces to local establishment.

Also in this issue:
-Interpol still seeking The Oett for questioning
-Rooster and Sarge, long time posters, come out of the closet
-Patchez's secret plan to paintball the president-elect


All this and more when you subscribe to MDM World News Weekly

I haven't been in a closet since that time I got wasted and pissed on Crystal's tiger.

[Badfellow]

I haven't been in a closet since that time I got wasted and smoked crack with Mikey Ruiner.

Cathartic, isn't it?

[mistah willies]

Two days ago, fresh in! This WWMDMN tidbit is:

LushLife* is back.


Please carrion with the pudhammer.






*Fortify ourselves with true MDM spirits.

[Rooster]

I haven't been in a closet since that time I got wasted and smoked crack with Mikey Ruiner.

Cathartic, isn't it?

Never met him.

[Patchez]

Wait, did Cathartic ever post after the "incicdent"?

[Badfellow]

Speaking of weekly world news, I saw Bat Boy at the bar last night. That kid has NOT aged well at all.

[Badfellow]

Oh, and I'm still going to find the dickhead who down-voted and force feed them a pair of underwear off a bum.

[Badfellow]

Hey folks,

Dr. Dick Badfellow here with your weekly health tip from World Weekly MDM News.

***Save money on mouthwash by gargling your liquor***

Thanks,
And remember, live well and GFY.

[Badfellow]

Hey folks,

Dr. Dick Badfellow here with your weekly health tip from World Weekly MDM News.

*** Bum wine may not necessarily cure herpes, but it does make Oettinger care less about having them ***

Thanks,
And remember, live well and GFY.

[Bubblez]

Will it make it easier for me to contract them?

[Frankennietzsche]

*** Bum wine may not necessarily cure herpes, but it does make Oettinger care less about having them ***

.

[Badfellow]

Official Herpes Contract

I... (state your name) promise that Oettinger did not give me ear herpes by Skyping with me, and that he is not a grade F+ German student of special edjamacation.

Furthermore, by signing this document, it is hereby acknowledged that Thurston Xinian Endrunketude III is a lilly-liver pansy who enjoys substituting Taco Bell Diablo sauce for a proper deoderant, and that you're all a bunch of fecterated, flacid membered, Zima drinking fuck-nozzles...

X ____________________________

[ThirstyDrunk]

All the news that's fit to ball up and shove up your nostril to stop your nosebleed

WORLD WEEKLY MDM NEWS FOR THE WEEK I WOKE UP IN 2017

TOP STORIES
*MDM CITY STREETS FINALLY CLEANED, AS WELL AS DICTION, GRAMMAR, AND SPELLING
-Local shopkeepers see uptick in drunken but less slovenly clientele.

*SHIT TALKERS BAR AND GRILL FUMIGATED
-patrons are now assured of no herpes, bedbugs, or STD's (not a legal guarantee)

*THE SHED DEMOLISHED
- moves underground to basement until spring says owner

SCIENCE

*WHAT IS THE LOWEST TEMPERATURE YOU CAN PASS OUT OUTSIDE
-stay alive with this winter passout guide

FINANCE

-HOW DOES THE INVENTORY OF THE FED BY THE NEW CHEETO-ELECT AFFECT YOUR BOURBON PRICES?
-Keep informed with this deregulated bourbon price guide

LIFESTYLE

-DRUNK LIVES MATTER
-Stay above the fray of racial or religious hatred with this simple plan


All this and less in this edition of MDM World Weekly news GFY

[oettinger]

To gain a bigger audience I`d suggest a page three bottle, fully opened!