So, is that it? Will this thread survive 2019? Will you survive this year?...
Time for another drink. Make that a double!
The Hole
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
- Lush City
- Chugging Like Churchill
- Posts: 5087
- Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2012 7:55 pm
- Location: Nearest tiki lounge
Re: The Hole
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
- Dear Booze
- Drinking God's Good Scotch
- Posts: 2516
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 11:01 pm
Re: The Hole
Don't miss The Hole's Annual St. Patrick's Day Bash
St. Patrick's Day is a highly religious Irish holiday to honor the patron saint of Ireland and to get debilitatingly drunk.
To help you celebrate, The Hole is happy to share these St. Patrick's Day facts:
1. St. Patrick's name wasn't really Patrick. He took that name when he became a priest. Before that, his name was John Wayne.
2. St. Patrick wasn't even Irish he was British, born in Wales to Roman parents.
3. He never wore green, it didn't look good on him.
4. St. Patrick is credited with the popularization of bare knuckle boxing.
5. March 17th marks the anniversary of his death, not his birth or the day he discovered Guinness, as commonly believed.
6. St, Patrick died in 460 BC. However, the exact date is not known. Neighbors reported a fowl smell coming from his apartment on June 8. Detectives interviewed several townsfolk and learned that there were no St. Patrick sightings after March 10. The coroner placed the approximate date of death as March 17 and listed the cause of death as "auto erotic asphyxiation".
Don't miss the St Paddy's Ugly Sweater Contest. The winner will will the honor of throwing out the first punch during the annual drunken brawl.
Buy one drink and receive scabies.
If you are a true drinker, please stay home. St. Patrick's day is for inexperienced assholes. Don't take that the wrong way, management wants you to have fun and doesn't expect you to surrender to the sullen, maudlin drunkenness with which is normally observed on Martin Luther King Day. Just don't do it here. This is fucking preschool drinking day. Seriously, don't come in here unless you are a total douchebag.
St. Patrick's Day is a highly religious Irish holiday to honor the patron saint of Ireland and to get debilitatingly drunk.
To help you celebrate, The Hole is happy to share these St. Patrick's Day facts:
1. St. Patrick's name wasn't really Patrick. He took that name when he became a priest. Before that, his name was John Wayne.
2. St. Patrick wasn't even Irish he was British, born in Wales to Roman parents.
3. He never wore green, it didn't look good on him.
4. St. Patrick is credited with the popularization of bare knuckle boxing.
5. March 17th marks the anniversary of his death, not his birth or the day he discovered Guinness, as commonly believed.
6. St, Patrick died in 460 BC. However, the exact date is not known. Neighbors reported a fowl smell coming from his apartment on June 8. Detectives interviewed several townsfolk and learned that there were no St. Patrick sightings after March 10. The coroner placed the approximate date of death as March 17 and listed the cause of death as "auto erotic asphyxiation".
Don't miss the St Paddy's Ugly Sweater Contest. The winner will will the honor of throwing out the first punch during the annual drunken brawl.
Buy one drink and receive scabies.
If you are a true drinker, please stay home. St. Patrick's day is for inexperienced assholes. Don't take that the wrong way, management wants you to have fun and doesn't expect you to surrender to the sullen, maudlin drunkenness with which is normally observed on Martin Luther King Day. Just don't do it here. This is fucking preschool drinking day. Seriously, don't come in here unless you are a total douchebag.
Last edited by Dear Booze on Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
DRINK!
- Lush City
- Chugging Like Churchill
- Posts: 5087
- Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2012 7:55 pm
- Location: Nearest tiki lounge
Re: The Hole
He was born in Wales, not Whales. Bwahahahahahaaa! Pardon me while I piss my pants, I'm laughing so hard.
That's what happens in The Hole.
That's what happens in The Hole.
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
- ThirstyDrunk
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 12701
- Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2006 10:35 pm
- Location: Xenia
Re: The Hole
1st Commandment: Thou shalt not speak of fight club.Dear Booze wrote: ↑Sat Mar 16, 2019 11:37 pm
4. St. Patrick is credited with the popularization of bare knuckle boxing.
We partyin down at the Shed. All the green beer you can drink - $10
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
- Lush City
- Chugging Like Churchill
- Posts: 5087
- Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2012 7:55 pm
- Location: Nearest tiki lounge
Re: The Hole
So, never make the mistake of calling an Englishman Irish. You will get your ass handed to you. It's like calling someone the n-word. I found out today on St. Patty's day. Yes, throughout History the Irish were the slave class of the English. Blood lines run strong even in SoCal.
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
- Dear Booze
- Drinking God's Good Scotch
- Posts: 2516
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 11:01 pm
Re: The Hole
TONIGHT ONLY THE HOLE IS PROUD TO BRING YOU GERBER CLASS GLADIATOR CONTESTS!
That's right motherfuckers, come on down to the world's best bar in the universe and witness a full night of brutal fights involving toddlers and infants.
Witness the Playpen of Death. Two babies crawl in, only one crawls out!
Marvel as these less-than-pint-sized brawlers slam their not quite fully-formed fists into the soft fontanels of their opponents.
As an added bonus, management is honored to bring to you, for the first time outside of Germany and Florida, Baby Beast Wrestling. Three brave toddlers take on one wild bobcat in a fight to the death.
Get here early for the pre-event drinking contest. Ten lucky toddlers will each consume a pint of Malibu Rum "the Rum fit for all little accidents AND bundles from heaven", guests may then bet on which little one will be the last to continue toddling.
The event features endorsements from both Dr. Benjamin Spock and Don King.
Admission is free with a 37 drink minimum.
No flash photography.
Remember, The Hole is a classy place. No gang attire, backwards hats, team colors, sports team logos, or flip flops. Customers must bring their own glassware and mixers.
Due to another outbreak of scabies, fucking in either of the two toilet stalls is limited to three minutes at a time.
That's right motherfuckers, come on down to the world's best bar in the universe and witness a full night of brutal fights involving toddlers and infants.
Witness the Playpen of Death. Two babies crawl in, only one crawls out!
Marvel as these less-than-pint-sized brawlers slam their not quite fully-formed fists into the soft fontanels of their opponents.
As an added bonus, management is honored to bring to you, for the first time outside of Germany and Florida, Baby Beast Wrestling. Three brave toddlers take on one wild bobcat in a fight to the death.
Get here early for the pre-event drinking contest. Ten lucky toddlers will each consume a pint of Malibu Rum "the Rum fit for all little accidents AND bundles from heaven", guests may then bet on which little one will be the last to continue toddling.
The event features endorsements from both Dr. Benjamin Spock and Don King.
Admission is free with a 37 drink minimum.
No flash photography.
Remember, The Hole is a classy place. No gang attire, backwards hats, team colors, sports team logos, or flip flops. Customers must bring their own glassware and mixers.
Due to another outbreak of scabies, fucking in either of the two toilet stalls is limited to three minutes at a time.
DRINK!
Re: The Hole
Oh and yeah toddlers against bobcats is kinda unfair. You know their best move is pulling the cat`s tail
Drink!
- Artful Drunktective
- Chugging Like Churchill
- Posts: 5359
- Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:00 pm
- Location: Yautja Prime
Re: The Hole
I hate the Hole and all it's festivals and free bathroom BJ's and shit Sam's Club / Costco appetizers. I want to throw a Molotov cocktail through the window. Maybe a petting zoo in the "Beer Garden" would make it all better.
Okole maluna!
- Dear Booze
- Drinking God's Good Scotch
- Posts: 2516
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 11:01 pm
Re: The Hole
Today at The Hole, dont miss Festival Day 2019.Artful Drunktective wrote: ↑Sun Apr 14, 2019 10:17 amI hate the Hole and all it's festivals and free bathroom BJ's and shit Sam's Club / Costco appetizers. I want to throw a Molotov cocktail through the window. Maybe a petting zoo would make it all better.
Enjoy a full day of free Bathroom BJ's, Shitty Sam's Club Appetizers, and a Molotov Cocktail Pyrotechnics display.
Come early for the Heavy Petting Zoo located on the roof.
DRINK!
- Artful Drunktective
- Chugging Like Churchill
- Posts: 5359
- Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:00 pm
- Location: Yautja Prime
Re: The Hole
Count me in!!!Dear Booze wrote: ↑Sun Apr 14, 2019 10:49 amToday at The Hole, dont miss Festival Day 2019.Artful Drunktective wrote: ↑Sun Apr 14, 2019 10:17 amI hate the Hole and all it's festivals and free bathroom BJ's and shit Sam's Club / Costco appetizers. I want to throw a Molotov cocktail through the window. Maybe a petting zoo would make it all better.
Enjoy a full day of free Bathroom BJ's, Shitty Sam's Club Appetizers, and a Molotov Cocktail Pyrotechnics display.
Come early for the Heavy Petting Zoo located on the roof.
I won't participate in the petting zoo again, though. That costs extra.
Okole maluna!
- Dear Booze
- Drinking God's Good Scotch
- Posts: 2516
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 11:01 pm
Re: The Hole
Remember, "when you're out of money, you're outta The Hole."Artful Drunktective wrote: ↑Sun Apr 14, 2019 10:52 amCount me in!!!Dear Booze wrote: ↑Sun Apr 14, 2019 10:49 amToday at The Hole, dont miss Festival Day 2019.Artful Drunktective wrote: ↑Sun Apr 14, 2019 10:17 amI hate the Hole and all it's festivals and free bathroom BJ's and shit Sam's Club / Costco appetizers. I want to throw a Molotov cocktail through the window. Maybe a petting zoo would make it all better.
Enjoy a full day of free Bathroom BJ's, Shitty Sam's Club Appetizers, and a Molotov Cocktail Pyrotechnics display.
Come early for the Heavy Petting Zoo located on the roof.
I won't participate in the petting zoo again, though. That costs extra.
DRINK!
Re: The Hole
I heard that Dear Booze still sucks on his binky, even when he's not wearing a diaper.
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.