Today, The Hole is proud to offer Free Beer to everyone. It's our way of saying thanks to everyone who has no job and no money and will not contribute to the local, state, or federal economy.
So come on in and have as many beers as you can drink, then, take some to go too.
Thanks for you patronage and be sure to tell the bartender you heard of us on the Dr Crane show.
Restrooms are reserved for paying customers only. If you need to pee, go on the side of the Shed. If you need to shit, go to STB&G.
The Hole
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
- Dear Booze
- Drinking God's Good Scotch
- Posts: 2516
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 11:01 pm
Re: The Hole
DRINK!
- Dear Booze
- Drinking God's Good Scotch
- Posts: 2516
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 11:01 pm
Re: The Hole
Today, and every other day, for eternity, The Hole is proud to provide Free Cash to everone who orders a free drink.
DRINK!
- Badfellow
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 10730
- Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
- Location: Republic of Drunkardia
Re: The Hole
Good evening, barkeep. I'd like to order 4,500,000 kamikazes, please. Just put it in a tanker truck and send it on over to Shit Talkers Bar, Grill & Sex Palace.Dear Booze wrote: ↑Sun Nov 19, 2017 3:51 pmToday, and every other day, for eternity, The Hole is proud to provide Free Cash to everone who orders a free drink.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
- Lush City
- Chugging Like Churchill
- Posts: 5087
- Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2012 7:55 pm
- Location: Nearest tiki lounge
Re: The Hole
There you go. More of that drunken wonderland talk infiltrating this website and hypnotizing the innocent. If only it were real. I would be in paradise. Keep your hands off my wallet!Dear Booze wrote: ↑Sun Nov 19, 2017 3:51 pmToday, and every other day, for eternity, The Hole is proud to provide Free Cash to everone who orders a free drink.
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
- Badfellow
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 10730
- Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
- Location: Republic of Drunkardia
Alternate lyrics to Afternoon Delight
Gonna grab me a bottle and hold her tight
Why wait to stick my dick until the middle of the night?
Have another shot of Beam and a slice of hair pie
'Til her clit pokes out my goddamn eye,
(work in progress)
Why wait to stick my dick until the middle of the night?
Have another shot of Beam and a slice of hair pie
'Til her clit pokes out my goddamn eye,
(work in progress)
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
- Artful Drunktective
- Chugging Like Churchill
- Posts: 5359
- Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:00 pm
- Location: Yautja Prime
Re: Alternate lyrics to Afternoon Delight
Oh so this must be the "banned" explicit lyrics version. Just beware and HOPE that Dear Booze doesn't 'bring it'. He does the best Afternoon Delight in the entire world.
Okole maluna!
- Badfellow
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 10730
- Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
- Location: Republic of Drunkardia
Re: The Hole
Wait, I might have overstumbled my boundaries here and mixed this up with a Merle Haggard tune.
Nope, nope, wait. It's definitely The Starland Vocal Band (who were liars because that guy who looks like disco William Fitchner plays the acoustic guitar; fucking liars, anyway)... definitely The Starland Venereal Band.
Mess with the Starland Vocal Malt Liquor Bull and you get the horns.
No.
Mess with the Starland Vocal Crue and-
Okay.
How about a nice, greasy Starland Pork Sammich served in a dirty ashtray?
Fuck. Okay.
-"Please don't disturb my friend Oettinger; he's dead tired listening to the Starland Wocal Band.
-Abraham Schwarzenegger
***
Nope, nope, wait. It's definitely The Starland Vocal Band (who were liars because that guy who looks like disco William Fitchner plays the acoustic guitar; fucking liars, anyway)... definitely The Starland Venereal Band.
Mess with the Starland Vocal Malt Liquor Bull and you get the horns.
No.
Mess with the Starland Vocal Crue and-
Okay.
How about a nice, greasy Starland Pork Sammich served in a dirty ashtray?
Fuck. Okay.
-"Please don't disturb my friend Oettinger; he's dead tired listening to the Starland Wocal Band.
-Abraham Schwarzenegger
***
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
- Lush City
- Chugging Like Churchill
- Posts: 5087
- Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2012 7:55 pm
- Location: Nearest tiki lounge
Re: The Hole
You bastards never learn!
They got laid and you didn't...
Humble Pie-30 Days In The Hole
https://youtu.be/sdXjm8pZMws
They got laid and you didn't...
Humble Pie-30 Days In The Hole
https://youtu.be/sdXjm8pZMws
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
- Dear Booze
- Drinking God's Good Scotch
- Posts: 2516
- Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 11:01 pm
Re: The Hole
Today only, THE HOLE is proud to honor our community's senior citizens with our first annual SENIOR CITIZENS HOLIDAY BINDER.
That's right, from 11 AM to 1 PM, all seniors over the age of 65 will be treated to a beer of our choice. Plus, there will be raffle prizes, cookies, fake turkey, games, songs, and an appearance by Ol' Saint Jimmy himself.
We've loaded up the jukebox with Miller, Crosby, and Goodman. So come on down and party like it's 1950! We may even have a few race records (shhhhh don't tell the cops).
Be sure to check out the photo booth, which doubles as a fuck chamber for all you horny old fuckers.
While you are here, be sure to sign up for Lifelock, Medalert, and a reverse mortgage, We also have diabetes screening available courtesy of the Wilford Brimley Foundation.
Without letting tbe cat out if the bag, so to speak, there will also be a big surprise. Many of the seniors in our community have been identified by lawyers of a recently deceased, and very wealthy, prince as benefiiaries of said prince's estate. That's right, you may walk away with a shit ton of cash! So be sure to bring a checkbook, all your credit cards, social security number, routing numbers, deed to your house, and whatever cash you have. The only thing we will require is a sample of your signature. And that's it. Easy. You can be as wealthy as a fucking Rockefeller.
Due to a recent ruling on the historic nature of our building, The Hole is not required to meet Americans With Disabilities standards as they apply to accessible doorways, ramps, restrooms, and other architectural and design features. So if you cannot get in The Hole, you are out of luck!
That's right, from 11 AM to 1 PM, all seniors over the age of 65 will be treated to a beer of our choice. Plus, there will be raffle prizes, cookies, fake turkey, games, songs, and an appearance by Ol' Saint Jimmy himself.
We've loaded up the jukebox with Miller, Crosby, and Goodman. So come on down and party like it's 1950! We may even have a few race records (shhhhh don't tell the cops).
Be sure to check out the photo booth, which doubles as a fuck chamber for all you horny old fuckers.
While you are here, be sure to sign up for Lifelock, Medalert, and a reverse mortgage, We also have diabetes screening available courtesy of the Wilford Brimley Foundation.
Without letting tbe cat out if the bag, so to speak, there will also be a big surprise. Many of the seniors in our community have been identified by lawyers of a recently deceased, and very wealthy, prince as benefiiaries of said prince's estate. That's right, you may walk away with a shit ton of cash! So be sure to bring a checkbook, all your credit cards, social security number, routing numbers, deed to your house, and whatever cash you have. The only thing we will require is a sample of your signature. And that's it. Easy. You can be as wealthy as a fucking Rockefeller.
Due to a recent ruling on the historic nature of our building, The Hole is not required to meet Americans With Disabilities standards as they apply to accessible doorways, ramps, restrooms, and other architectural and design features. So if you cannot get in The Hole, you are out of luck!
DRINK!
- Badfellow
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 10730
- Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
- Location: Republic of Drunkardia
Re: The Hole
This sort of geriatric pandering jibber makes me sick to the very bottom of my rotten guts. You should be ashamed. You should also invite Thirsty Drunk. He's old and senile, and after he gets a couple of Zimas under his suspenders you can talk him into just about anything.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
- Artful Drunktective
- Chugging Like Churchill
- Posts: 5359
- Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:00 pm
- Location: Yautja Prime
Re: The Hole
On my way to the Hole. What is the Drunkard specials for the day? Connie Prawns?
Okole maluna!
- ThirstyDrunk
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 12701
- Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2006 10:35 pm
- Location: Xenia
Re: The Hole
Yeah you chuckleheads think you're funny, but I'm the one laughing as I count the money I save with my AARP card, laughing as you punks struggle through puberty trying to figure out your goddam true gender identities. Now get the fuck off my lawn before daddy gets out the razor strap.Badfellow wrote: ↑Sat Dec 16, 2017 1:55 pmThis sort of geriatric pandering jibber makes me sick to the very bottom of my rotten guts. You should be ashamed. You should also invite Thirsty Drunk. He's old and senile, and after he gets a couple of Zimas under his suspenders you can talk him into just about anything.
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
Re: The Hole
Thirsty is not old!!
(He's distinguished.)
(He's distinguished.)
Watch "The Money Masters" on youtube and read "The Creature From Jekyll Island" by G. Edward Griffin to unveil the true enemy.
Innovating the human race to extinction.™
Long live David Icke!
Innovating the human race to extinction.™
Long live David Icke!
Re: The Hole
Thirst is on to something not containing booze, very odd.
His gender would be old teabegg bitter punchdrunk
His gender would be old teabegg bitter punchdrunk
Drink!