The Hole

[Lush City]

So, is that it? Will this thread survive 2019? Will you survive this year?...
Time for another drink. Make that a double!

[Dear Booze]

Don't miss The Hole's Annual St. Patrick's Day Bash

St. Patrick's Day is a highly religious Irish holiday to honor the patron saint of Ireland and to get debilitatingly drunk.

To help you celebrate, The Hole is happy to share these St. Patrick's Day facts:

1. St. Patrick's name wasn't really Patrick. He took that name when he became a priest. Before that, his name was John Wayne.

2. St. Patrick wasn't even Irish he was British, born in Wales to Roman parents.

3. He never wore green, it didn't look good on him.

4. St. Patrick is credited with the popularization of bare knuckle boxing.

5. March 17th marks the anniversary of his death, not his birth or the day he discovered Guinness, as commonly believed.

6. St, Patrick died in 460 BC. However, the exact date is not known. Neighbors reported a fowl smell coming from his apartment on June 8. Detectives interviewed several townsfolk and learned that there were no St. Patrick sightings after March 10. The coroner placed the approximate date of death as March 17 and listed the cause of death as "auto erotic asphyxiation".

Don't miss the St Paddy's Ugly Sweater Contest. The winner will will the honor of throwing out the first punch during the annual drunken brawl.

Buy one drink and receive scabies.

If you are a true drinker, please stay home. St. Patrick's day is for inexperienced assholes. Don't take that the wrong way, management wants you to have fun and doesn't expect you to surrender to the sullen, maudlin drunkenness with which is normally observed on Martin Luther King Day. Just don't do it here. This is fucking preschool drinking day. Seriously, don't come in here unless you are a total douchebag.

[Lush City]

He was born in Wales, not Whales. Bwahahahahahaaa! Pardon me while I piss my pants, I'm laughing so hard.
That's what happens in The Hole.

[ThirstyDrunk]

4. St. Patrick is credited with the popularization of bare knuckle boxing.

1st Commandment: Thou shalt not speak of fight club.

We partyin down at the Shed. All the green beer you can drink - $10

[oettinger]

I wish Jesus had as warm as a welcome

I`ll hit the Shed, they sell fresh crack

[Lush City]

So, never make the mistake of calling an Englishman Irish. You will get your ass handed to you. It's like calling someone the n-word. I found out today on St. Patty's day. Yes, throughout History the Irish were the slave class of the English. Blood lines run strong even in SoCal.

[Dear Booze]

TONIGHT ONLY THE HOLE IS PROUD TO BRING YOU GERBER CLASS GLADIATOR CONTESTS!

That's right motherfuckers, come on down to the world's best bar in the universe and witness a full night of brutal fights involving toddlers and infants.

Witness the Playpen of Death. Two babies crawl in, only one crawls out!
Marvel as these less-than-pint-sized brawlers slam their not quite fully-formed fists into the soft fontanels of their opponents.

As an added bonus, management is honored to bring to you, for the first time outside of Germany and Florida, Baby Beast Wrestling. Three brave toddlers take on one wild bobcat in a fight to the death.

Get here early for the pre-event drinking contest. Ten lucky toddlers will each consume a pint of Malibu Rum "the Rum fit for all little accidents AND bundles from heaven", guests may then bet on which little one will be the last to continue toddling.

The event features endorsements from both Dr. Benjamin Spock and Don King.

Admission is free with a 37 drink minimum.
No flash photography.
Remember, The Hole is a classy place. No gang attire, backwards hats, team colors, sports team logos, or flip flops. Customers must bring their own glassware and mixers.
Due to another outbreak of scabies, fucking in either of the two toilet stalls is limited to three minutes at a time.

[oettinger]

Lol I will be there. 37 minimun? Pfff

[oettinger]

Oh and yeah toddlers against bobcats is kinda unfair. You know their best move is pulling the cat`s tail

[Artful Drunktective]

I hate the Hole and all it's festivals and free bathroom BJ's and shit Sam's Club / Costco appetizers. I want to throw a Molotov cocktail through the window. Maybe a petting zoo in the "Beer Garden" would make it all better.

[Dear Booze]

I hate the Hole and all it's festivals and free bathroom BJ's and shit Sam's Club / Costco appetizers. I want to throw a Molotov cocktail through the window. Maybe a petting zoo would make it all better.

Today at The Hole, dont miss Festival Day 2019.

Enjoy a full day of free Bathroom BJ's, Shitty Sam's Club Appetizers, and a Molotov Cocktail Pyrotechnics display.

Come early for the Heavy Petting Zoo located on the roof.

[Artful Drunktective]

I hate the Hole and all it's festivals and free bathroom BJ's and shit Sam's Club / Costco appetizers. I want to throw a Molotov cocktail through the window. Maybe a petting zoo would make it all better.

Today at The Hole, dont miss Festival Day 2019.

Enjoy a full day of free Bathroom BJ's, Shitty Sam's Club Appetizers, and a Molotov Cocktail Pyrotechnics display.

Come early for the Heavy Petting Zoo located on the roof.

Count me in!!!

I won't participate in the petting zoo again, though. That costs extra.

[Dear Booze]

I hate the Hole and all it's festivals and free bathroom BJ's and shit Sam's Club / Costco appetizers. I want to throw a Molotov cocktail through the window. Maybe a petting zoo would make it all better.

Today at The Hole, dont miss Festival Day 2019.

Enjoy a full day of free Bathroom BJ's, Shitty Sam's Club Appetizers, and a Molotov Cocktail Pyrotechnics display.

Come early for the Heavy Petting Zoo located on the roof.

Count me in!!!

I won't participate in the petting zoo again, though. That costs extra.

Remember, "when you're out of money, you're outta The Hole."

[Nausea]

I heard that Dear Booze still sucks on his binky, even when he's not wearing a diaper.

[Badfellow]

"The Hole: where the dicks go."