The amber liquor conspiracy in my house

[Badfellow]

Came to the realization today that every single can or bottle of alcohol in the house exists in amber form... that's like the fifth or sixth state of matter, pretty sure I read it on the internet. Not a goddamn drop of vodka anywhere.

"But what about the gin?" you ask in a panic. "Surely, it must be colorless?"

Nope. Aged 6 months and amber as Satan's areolas.

This anomalous alignment of alcohol cannot merely be dismissed as a common coincidence. What other forces are deep at play here? What should I drink next? And is the universe trying to send us a tasty, thirst quenching message that can only be heard from the bottom of an emptied bottle?

[oettinger]

Venus says you`re run out of the good stuff. Go buy some more, Saturn replies.
Zeus interupts quickly with a fart, and leaves.
To heaven`s smokes zomb, the Bedpillow is running out of drinks, Perseus screamed in his favorite female voice.
I know Jupiter said, but I cannot help him right now, I need to get that buffalo bill drunk and have him mate with Europa.
In the meantime Odysseus was tasking Hercules with yet another impossible adventure: Drink kornschnaps from the island of lesbo and behave in a PC manner.
Do you know how Odyssesus fooled Cyclops?
He got him loaded on wine.
Then showed him some video on skype.
When the cyclops closed one eye to sharpen his view Odysseus bailed with his wife.
True story

[Badfellow]

Dude, I can't tell where your left Greek testicle starts and your right Roman testicle ends.

[Patchez]

Is this an unusual occurrence? I rarely have any clear liquors unless a Bloody muse has descended.

[Badfellow]

Is this an unusual occurrence? I rarely have any clear liquors unless a Bloody muse has descended.

No, it's not unusual; the Cult of Amber has many devotees. It was just strange to realize that I haven't purchased any vodka in at least a year or two. Almost makes me want to go get a bottle of Yuri Dolgoruki for the sake of nostalgia and drink chilled shots until the sun comes up.

[Smatter Noguts]

No vodka, gin, or rum? No tequila?

The horror...

[mistah willies]

No vodka, gin, or rum? No tequila?

The horror...

That sounds like an Apocalypse Now reference.


HA! well done.

[Frankennietzsche]

This thread is so typical of you "Amber Liquors Matter" liberals. All this talk about tolerance, and here you are, admitting to not having one clear liquor in your house. What if someone else, say, a certain spray tanned peotus, said that they didn't have any LOC in his humble abode. WHo would cry "racist" then? Hmmm?

[Badfellow]

WHITE
RUM
MATTERS

There, is everyone feeling better now?

[hereforthebeer]

what color is white cider, that yellowy colour? does that count as Amber?

[Badfellow]

Think that counts as yellow, or golden colored if you wanted to make it sound a little less like urine. Though I did drink the hell out of Woodchuck Amber back in the day... you see? It's a fucking conspiracy! I gotta drink my way outta here, man!

[hereforthebeer]

i did think it reminded me of urine in colour

tbh though we live in a very happy time of man kind i think

when someone with just £4 to spare can splash out out 3 litres of cider
fire up some youtube

and make their own party

yes i have done this today, but yeah i was curious is it amber? i guess not

i can't stomach neat spirits... when i was a teen so long ago... i used to play snooker, i was quite a cockey guy back then, i told the landlord he couldn't get me drunk... about 100 spirits and rum later he did i puked everywhere, fell asleep under a snooker table.. never been able to handle neat spirit since i just gag... i think my subconscious is far too clever...

but i can drink a tonne , as long as it has a mixer in it lol :D

[MeanOldLady]

This thread is so typical of you "Amber Liquors Matter" liberals. All this talk about tolerance, and here you are, admitting to not having one clear liquor in your house. What if someone else, say, a certain spray tanned peotus, said that they didn't have any LOC in his humble abode. WHo would cry "racist" then? Hmmm?

hey now, i've had some white liquors in my home. some of my best friends are gins! don't judge me for preferring the ambers; it's just the way i was raised.

[peetie44]

I like to slowly shop for my amber liquors at various liquor stores...always searching for that special bottle at a favorable price.

Even though I'm a G&T, Bloody Mary and Marguerita drinker, buying white liquors is like buying milk and bread...when I run out, I just pick up a new bottle of whatever, wherever.

[Badfellow]

...hey now, i've had some white liquors in my home. some of my best friends are gins! don't judge me for preferring the ambers; it's just the way i was raised.

Oh I KNOW you didn't just post. Hold the phone and make sure she said said Beam Black, instead of being black, is delicious.

Then again, the punk rock neighbor kids are 66.6% caucasianadian and they all pitched in to get me a bottle of 190 Everclear from the SoDak! What a wonderful world!