Randomn known shit about DearBooze

[Artful Drunktective]

He never goes to meetings.

[oettinger]

His drinking habit was on discovery channel once

[Artful Drunktective]

He goes to Margaritaville a lot.

He has a MVP coupon for his next haircut or bikini wax. He may get a 2 for 1 special discount since he's the Mayor.

[Badfellow]

Mayor McCheese passes bribes to city council underneath the onion blossom plate at Hooters.

[mistah willies]

Sometimes he discovers and then writes the answer to the question of, "What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything else?" on the back side of the bar tab receipt.

Then he adds $4.20 as a tip, because he's a cheap bastard, paying only 10 percent.

[Dear Booze]

Sometimes he discovers and then writes the answer to the question of, "What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything else?" on the back side of the bar tab receipt.

Then he adds $4.20 as a tip, because he's a cheap bastard, paying only 10 percent.

Nicely done, Zaphod.

[Artful Drunktective]

Evidently his Sunday's consist of Eggs Benedict, Saigon whores, family BBQ's, passing bribes to the councilmen under "Awesome Blossom's", singing "Connie Camaleón" in español, and can top it off with a terrible day on the links.

**No aquariums were harmed in the (golf) course of this Sunday.

[Badfellow]

I heard somewhere that he went to his niece's 8th grade graduation party and drank all of the Malibu during truth or dare.

[Artful Drunktective]

He hates man capris. He prefers culottes...professional for the office and then the more casual short style for a day of golf or an evening out drinking Mai Tai's at the neighborhood Applebee's.

[mistah willies]

He hates man capris. He prefers culottes...professional for the office and then the more casual short style for a day of golf or an evening out drinking Mai Tai's at the neighborhood Applebee's.

Don't forget his pudhpurs for the polo game before tea, *ahem* long islands.

[Patchez]

He'll kick you in the nuts to get you back in the game.

[mistah willies]

Shhhh...

Don't tell anyone, but;

DB wasn't born exceedingly wealthy. He was born only desperately wealthy. It's true.

Now, this is not about the history of his grand old family that consisted of river barons and stagecoach bandits (which is why the Sans Joking River Valley is now a destitute desert) oh no,

but more importantly: the fact that he could no longer pursue his life's dream of making art work out of mud and clay. The desert does not afford such an opportunity, in his native backyard.

You see, when he was born back in them 60's, why, the whole pace was dry. No more mud. It was so dry, he could not even create mud art form his own underoos. There was no mud butt mud to be found anywhere. He went a-searching in various nocturnal pantie raids in many of his neighbor's homes, believe me; you.

Yes, all of his art was like mud butt dust in the wind, like sand art.





Thus saddened, he resigned himself to remain only moderately desperately wealthy, with hops and memes of someday regaining his virtuosity in the realm of mud butt art.

This is why he pisses in the desert.

Ach, it weakens the bladder to think of such a thing.


.

[Artful Drunktective]

He broke his club foot a few weeks ago while gardening which trashed his future NFL career.

He does Pilates between meetings.

He wears sunglasses at night.

He still drives the bitchin' Camaro he drove in the 80's (at least it has t-tops) while listening to Corey Hart while wearing said sunglasses at night.

[oettinger]

His wedding was a hoax, I saw those same pics on reddit and 4 chan

[Artful Drunktective]

His middle name is Vernon.