100 Reasons to Hate drinking willies

[oettinger]

I don`t mind him but

[Dear Booze]

He's one of those Indians, right? Yeah, fuck that guy.

Fuck

You, Mr Lester, are an asshole.

[ThirstyDrunk]

I come around, he always bummin a Pall Mall.
Cheers

[mistah willies]

Aw, you all make a drunken Injun DRINK.

Hellz yes

[Lush City]

This is another drunk ass thread. To be honest with you I don't give a rat's ass what willies does. He's on the other side of the continent. He'd be a great drinking guest for the evening until his wife calls him home.

[oettinger]

This is another k ass thread. I give a rat's ass on the other side of the continent. 'd be a great drinking for the evening until home.

`kay
Meet you on the spiral Lush Man, we build in a NASTY slip`n`slide

[Rye and Coke]

Alright I think we're at, or close, to 15. Let me see if I can get us to 20:


His knees bend the wrong way like a cricket's, and when he rubs them together they make the sound of a drunk man snoring.

He still has a 6-pack. ... It traces across the contours of his bulbous beer gut like the knobs on a heirloom tomato

He spent hundreds of dollars on an above-ground bomb shelter with windows.

When he gets out of bed in the morning his joints creak, in unison, to the tune of the Sanford and Son theme song.

His next-day, hangover piss is so strong it crawls out of his body on its elbows and knees, like a soldier trying to avoid trip wires.

[Lush City]

Alright I think we're at, or close, to 15. Let me see if I can get us to 20:


His knees bend the wrong way like a cricket's, and when he rubs them together they make the sound of a drunk man snoring.

He still has a 6-pack. ... It traces across the contours of his bulbous beer gut like the knobs on a heirloom tomato

He spent hundreds of dollars on an above-ground bomb shelter with windows.

When he gets out of bed in the morning his joints creak, in unison, to the tune of the Sanford and Son theme song.

His next-day, hangover piss is so strong it crawls out of his body on its elbows and knees, like a soldier trying to avoid trip wires.

Don't tell me, you are another unemployed comedy writer living in a cheap motel in Burbank? You made me LOL!

[Lush City]

I just can't believe anyone who can just hoist a jug of Kraken rum over his forearm all nite! This man is crazed like a pirate ghost coming back to haunt the general public or anyone that wants to listen to his insane rants.

[ThirstyDrunk]

all i get is elevator music waiting on the line

[Artful Drunktective]

He spent hundreds of dollars on an above-ground bomb shelter with windows.

And curtains on those windows with the cliché pie cooling on the windowsill.

[Nausea]

He gurgles his Kraken to get rid of the aftertaste of demon fetuses.

[Badfellow]

His voice mail box is full and cannot accept drunken harassment at this time. And he smells of elderberries.

[oettinger]

Voicemachine? He just mastered his answering intro:

"Hello, Willies`office here, you are talking to Mr. Schmok. Press 1 if you got free Kraken to leave at the doorstep. Press 2 for any complaints that I can`t help you with. Press any other number to fuck yourself. Hold the line and another mod will probably answer your call with more stupid advise.
By hanging up you agree that this call was worth 20 bucks."

[Artful Drunktective]

At the bottom it says it's perfect for Willies! This is a must for every household.