Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

[Nausea]

Woke up with a fucked up toe and a long cut on my thumb. No clue how either of them happened.

This whiskey should ease the pain.

[Artful Drunktective]

^ ^ ^ I also had a recent strange incident. I felt a bug crawling on me in the middle of the night. When I tried to swat it off, it stung me (bit me?!) and my index finger swelled up 4 times it's normal size. It looked like a giant bloated Little Smokie. Still don't know what it was. I think smarty ass Badfellow had some suggestions as to what the culprit was. I finally thought about putting hydrocortisone on it after 2 days of suffering which did the trick. So annoying!

[Lush City]

Slogging through my last 12 hour weekend night shift. One more 8 on Monday and I'll be through with weekend nights.

Next weekend will be Friday, Saturday and Sunday weekend days. An 8, 12 and 12 hour shift. Starting Monday I will switch to my new and hopefully final shift for a while the beloved shift of drunks 2nd shift. Late mornings and drinking most every night. Oh the sheer bliss to be back nestled in her boozy embrace. Bacchus bless the 2nd shifters.

Whatever happened to the swing shift. You would start at 4pm and end by midnight. Enough time to go and close out your favorite dive bar before last call and get tanked up before you go home and fall into bed for a peaceful night's slumber. Wake up around Noon and get ready for the next day.

[oettinger]

Fucking people coming out of their rabbit holes because it got a little bit more comfortable outside. I swear I`ve seen the same ass family drive by on their bicycles twice already! Where`s my damn minigun?!

[Patchez]

Slogging through my last 12 hour weekend night shift. One more 8 on Monday and I'll be through with weekend nights.

Next weekend will be Friday, Saturday and Sunday weekend days. An 8, 12 and 12 hour shift. Starting Monday I will switch to my new and hopefully final shift for a while the beloved shift of drunks 2nd shift. Late mornings and drinking most every night. Oh the sheer bliss to be back nestled in her boozy embrace. Bacchus bless the 2nd shifters.

Whatever happened to the swing shift. You would start at 4pm and end by midnight. Enough time to go and close out your favorite dive bar before last call and get tanked up before you go home and fall into bed for a peaceful night's slumber. Wake up around Noon and get ready for the next day.

Second is the same as swing. except mine is better the 4 to 12, even better than 3 to 11. It's 1:30 to 10 with a half hour off the clock for lunch.

[Artful Drunktective]

Drank every time we heard the neighbor kid cry. (refer to drinking games thread). Was pretty trashed by the time we made it to Skype.

Stepped in dog shit and then came inside and tracked it all over the house. Fuckin' awesome!

Made homemade dill pickle spears from cukes from the garden. Showed it off on Skype. Dear Booze said it looked like an abortion in a jar.

[ThirstyDrunk]

Nobody is having cookouts or parties. I craved a grilled burger. I charcoal grilled burgers and pork chops. fucking delicious.
Angus burger grilled over apple wood coals, on a Klosterman honeybun with a slice of sweet vidalia onion and a splash of A-1, fresh sweet corn on the cob with salted butter, Nathan's onion rings and a side of jarred abortion. fucking delicious and then i got drunk. or am getting drunk.
eh I'm drunk

[Artful Drunktective]

^ ^ ^ Nothing beats a side of freshly jarred abortion!

That entire thing sounds amazing. Love vidalias on burgers and BLT's. We actually grilled some corn on Friday. I am all about sauces and I never thought about using an A1 type sauce but now I must try it.

Pretty sure I posted it before but German's use something they call "American Style Burger Sauce". It's funny us 'murricans have a sauce named after us. Anything 'murrican' is always referred to as "American Style". HA! Sounds like doggy style or something.

If I could have a burger right now, it would be a Ranch burger (Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning in it, not the actual dressing- for those that aren't privy). On a soft bun like a potato roll. A nice melty white cheese like Monterey Jack, Swiss, or Gouda. Yes I prefer white but #allcheesesmatter. Some avocado slices and some crispy bacon strips. I am open to any sauce...but usually end up with a type of aioli. Love pickles on the side but not ON my burger. I always pick them off when I get a fast food burger. Damn now I want a burger!

[oettinger]

American style means there real americans in it. We love our fatty sauces

[scream ale]

American style sauce is based on German style sauce

[Artful Drunktective]

I had a drunkard friend text me today telling me he was "bored" (and keep in mind that where he lives, there is no lock down and everything is open). This is mind-boggling to me because I can think about a million things to do to never be bored. I kinda wanted to slap him upside his head because being bored is a luxury, not a curse. Being bored just means you either aren't trying hard enough or you need more hobbies or jobs. He was drinking also, which is even worse because drinking always makes me un-bored. Just enjoy your buzz, man! Isn't that enough?!

Shit to do when you are drinking, yet, "bored":
Go on the Modern Drunkard board
Go to a bar!
Get a job at a bar/strip club
Watch movies
Take a walk
Take a nap
Get drunk with a friend/significant other
Go shopping for stupid shit
Read a book
Drunk dial someone
Volunteer somewhere
Go get a damn ice cream cone or some shit
Go to a friends or significant other's house
Listen to music/watch music videos
Watch YouTube, Netflix, & TikTok type of crap
Go on a picnic/go to a park
Write in a journal
Clean yer' gawd damn house
Do some gardening / take care of plants
Go to the gym
Go to the movies
Play video games
If you have a pet...play with it or walk it!
Go take a night class
Go to the swimming pool
Start learning another language
Play solo games like cards or darts
Skype/call/text chat with somebody
Experiment with cooking/recipes
Pull random pranks on people
Take a drive/road trip
Go someplace you've never been before -whether it be a bar, restaurant, another town, or nature park
Sit outside and enjoy nature (my favorite)
Sleep with a prostitute
Rob a bank
Become a serial killer
Dress up in drag

The possibilities are endless.

Boredom is just a lame excuse. He should be lucky to be bored and that we aren't having to hunt, gather, and fight for our lives these days.
Get over yourself, dude. (Skypers know whose lame ass I'm talkin' about).
There's plenty of shit to do.
Especially when drinking.

[scream ale]

^^^ I thought the whole planet was in a lock down to varying degrees?

[Artful Drunktective]

^ ^ ^ Here in Germany everything is back to normal except maybe concerts or a water/amusement park? Children have been back to school for a while now. Bars and restaurants are all open. With mandatory initial mask wearage of course until you are seated. Nonetheless that arschloch could do a lot of other aforementioned stuff. Dress up in drag at least. I also forgot to add "look at porn".

[Rye and Coke]

I was leaving the store when guess who pulled up in his windowless, nondescript van? Old Mr. Overholt.

He said he knew my parents and if I was a good boy he'd give me treat.




....anyone who can come up with a punchline to this set up, I'll buy them a shot.

[oettinger]

... but I was a bad boy and don`t wanna cheat