Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

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Lush City
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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by Lush City » Sun Jun 18, 2017 1:41 am

Dear Booze wrote:
Sat Jun 17, 2017 11:30 am
I accomplished a Total Palinka on these here boards by simply being overly offended.
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Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
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Savage
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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by Savage » Tue Jun 20, 2017 4:08 am

My day? Well, still alive, and fit to die from the effing heat in Tumbleweed Junction. Air conditioning crayapped out, right after we paid some damn fool to fix it up. I'm going to track him down, and make him eat my condenser. I'll make his dog watch.
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DrunkAgain
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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by DrunkAgain » Thu Jun 22, 2017 8:52 am

I left the board for a long while only to come back to find Liz, Mayhem and other have passed.
I'm heartbroken and in tears.

FUCK!!!
Bourbon is like a sweater you wear on the inside.
~unknown MDM'er

Everyone needs a bit o' ass love.
~Liz (RIP)

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Sammy
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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by Sammy » Thu Jun 22, 2017 6:25 pm

My day? Well, I went to visit my folks. Ma hasn't been doing too well lately and Pa is half crippled. However, Ma seems to be doing much better now and cooked me a pot roast. Plus, I got to drink some of Pa's beer and gin, so it was a good day!

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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by Patchez » Fri Jun 23, 2017 8:33 am

Tuesday was actually a pretty decent day. My Facebook whiskey group helped a localish candy store do a Knob Creek barrel select for sale at the store. I'd never been involved with a barrel pick before so I ventured forth.

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Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by Artful Drunktective » Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:45 am

The other day a friend "Malibu Laurie" (as Badfellow coined due to her mass consumption of Malibu rum) came over to day drink. When she arrived she actually said to me "Strap yer nads on!" ?!?!?!?!?

But then she was having that annoying habit of talking on the phone periodically while we are hanging out. Twas quite distracting and interfering with our quality drinking time. So while she is yapping away I go online figuring I would talk to drunk people that actually want to hang out and happened to mention it to said fellow drunkards.

Old Smart Skunk said that Malibu Laurie needs "Blunt force trauma to the pussy". (And not in a good way mind you).

Without even knowing what Skunk said, Badfellow said she "needs a roundhouse kick to the vag. Then grab her empty bottle of Malibu and beat her senseless. Then follow up with a Figure Four Leg Lock. Another kung fu wrestling move you could try is the Flying Butt Pliers which is devastating when properly executed. Shoot her with your bean bag gun, then hit her with bear mace, and ten Chinese stars to the vag".

There's a lot o' hatin' of Malibu Laurie and her vag.

As tempting as those suggestions were, none of those things happened or I would have ended up being thrown through a glass window. But I did promptly tell her these things which she hysterically laughed and then said "There better not be anything written about Laurie Malibu's vag on the drunkard board!!!"

I don't know which part of that sentence is more adorable. The fact that she called herself her own coined nickname unsuccessfully or that she doesn't think it won't end up on the board. I might not win the battle but won the war.
Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail


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Lush City
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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by Lush City » Sat Jun 24, 2017 1:04 am

Artful Detective wrote:
Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:45 am
The other day a friend "Malibu Laurie" (as Badfellow coined due to her mass consumption of Malibu rum) came over to day drink. When she arrived she actually said to me "Strap yer nads on!" ?!?!?!?!?

But then she was having that annoying habit of talking on the phone periodically while we are hanging out. Twas quite distracting and interfering with our quality drinking time. So while she is yapping away I go online figuring I would talk to drunk people that actually want to hang out and happened to mention it to said fellow drunkards.

Old Smart Skunk said that Malibu Laurie needs "Blunt force trauma to the pussy". (And not in a good way mind you).

Without even knowing what Skunk said, Badfellow said she "needs a roundhouse kick to the vag. Then grab her empty bottle of Malibu and beat her senseless. Then follow up with a Figure Four Leg Lock. Another kung fu wrestling move you could try is the Flying Butt Pliers which is devastating when properly executed. Shoot her with your bean bag gun, then hit her with bear mace, and ten Chinese stars to the vag".

There's a lot o' hatin' of Malibu Laurie and her vag.

As tempting as those suggestions were, none of those things happened or I would have ended up being thrown through a glass window. But I did promptly tell her these things which she hysterically laughed and then said "There better not be anything written about Laurie Malibu's vag on the drunkard board!!!"

I don't know which part of that sentence is more adorable. The fact that she called herself her own coined nickname unsuccessfully or that she doesn't think it won't end up on the board. I might not win the battle but won the war.
I'm going to sue you for the hernia you just gave me over this ridiculous story!
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by Artful Drunktective » Sat Jun 24, 2017 1:15 am

Lush City wrote:
Sat Jun 24, 2017 1:04 am
Artful Detective wrote:
Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:45 am
I'm going to sue you for the hernia you just gave me over this ridiculous story!
I have a really good lawyer. ME!
Last edited by Artful Drunktective on Thu Jul 06, 2017 3:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail


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Savage
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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by Savage » Sat Jun 24, 2017 3:21 am

Well, first there was peanut. Then cashew. There was no kleenex left, but fortunately, I was still sitting by the tp...stop me if you've heard this one.
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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by Artful Drunktective » Fri Jun 30, 2017 2:06 pm

Dear Vernon Booze Treehorn wrote:
Sun Jun 25, 2017 10:02 pm


im sorry that im hear. I should be at wurk twrulin on a poll and given lap danses to teh old dudes. Me an my bff both wurk their. But i usilly don lik dick. But il mak a exepshion for yuo sammy. Com by the club.


Hmm...I thought you liked dick.
Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail


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Sammy
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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by Sammy » Fri Jun 30, 2017 3:19 pm

After a pot of coffee and breakfast, I went on patrol around the Hacienda in my golf cart, armed with a loaded 12 gauge and a cooler full of beer. It's necessary this time of year cuz of snakes, of which I dispatched a few, so now I'm hitting some vodka. Gotta protect my dogs man! I hate rattle snakes!

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Dear Booze
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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by Dear Booze » Fri Jun 30, 2017 7:23 pm

Artful Detective wrote:
Fri Jun 30, 2017 2:06 pm
I spent the day blowin' old dudes in the alley for crack.
Come on Art, you're better than that.
Artful Detective wrote:
Fri Jun 30, 2017 2:06 pm
I also gave out a few handies for $5 each. It was a great day.
Glad your day was great
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a drunk man tortilla chips, Velveeta and a hair dryer and he has nachos.

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oettinger
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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by oettinger » Fri Jun 30, 2017 7:27 pm

Can you please kiss and hug now?!
I do not remember posting that ^^^
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ThirstyDrunk
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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by ThirstyDrunk » Fri Jun 30, 2017 7:35 pm

work. drink.
To be fair, I'm drunker than you.

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oettinger
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Re: Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

Post by oettinger » Fri Jun 30, 2017 7:55 pm

ThirstyDrunk wrote:
Fri Jun 30, 2017 7:35 pm
work. drink.
Congrats, you found a new drink? I`m so happy for you!
I do not remember posting that ^^^
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