Things We Want Do On Lush's Spiral Staircase

[Artful Drunktective]

OK, it's my birthday today (65 and on Medicare) so you can follow me on a celebratory dance up and down the staircase for 30reps. No gasping for air because you will be pushed aside.

*gasps for air*

[Badfellow]

Throw him a birthday party and have a stripper pop out of the cake while singing "Happy Birthday Mr. President.

We tried to get Diva for the gig, but she was booked. For prostitution.

[oldsmartskunk]

Have a circle jerk with oettinger and badfellow. Then laugh at tiny penises. I'm a simple man of simple pleasures.
Goat herding festival also comes to mind.

[Lush City]

You will want a thick cardboard sheet or any material, maybe better soft thick plastic,about 2' x 5' flexible enough to slide down the stairs feet or headfirst. It's your choice. I would recommend a helmet.
You can also opt for the banister.

[oettinger]

Is that Keira Drunkleigh?


What`s worse when drunk, a flight of stairs to climb or a flight of stairs to stumble down?

[Artful Drunktective]

Give a prenup to a bimbo.

[Lush City]

Give a prenup to a bimbo.

Don't judges throw those pre nup contracts out of court? They don't work, right? They are a man's dream: no fault divorce.

[Badfellow]

It's true, I have been using your stylishly wrought spiral staircase as an antenna to communicate with alien beings from the Alpha Fubari system. Yes, the evil gray ones with the googly eyes. The downside is that the flux capacitor unit is dumping massive amounts of infrasonic sound into your house (real quality stuff too in the 6-18hz range) causing you to poop in your pants intermittently as well as form questionable, right wing political beliefs. Sorry 'bout that. Though it's good to see that it hasn't affected your drinking or your taste in music.

Also, in the interest of full disclosure, let it be known that Nurse Lupe and I have absconded to Belieze where we will grow bananas and raise our caramel colored children in paradise. Do not try to stop us. Our love cannot be denied. Should you try to interfere, Lupe has agreed that the compromising photos of you and Henry Kissinger making out at Camp David will be circulated to the highest bidder.

[oettinger]

to the highest bidder.

Wow that stuff might fetch you a solid FIVE dollar bill! Do you accept paypal, greencard, poststamps?

[Artful Drunktective]

Mud wrestle

[ThirstyDrunk]

Leave a steaming liquid pile and excape nto the night.

[Lush City]

I'll sue all of you for virtual vandalism!

[Dear Booze]

Lurk in the shadows behind one of Lush's 19 sofas and wait for a rollerblader to fall down the spiral staircase so I can quickly steal his walkman.

[oettinger]

Lurk in the shadows behind one of Lush's 19 sofas and wait for a rollerblader to fall down the spiral staircase so I can quickly steal his walkman.

...and take the batteries out. Oh grand lord, when he shits himself: Nurse! Loop! Looop!!!! Anyone! I dangly pooped my pants, and my drink is also empty!!!!
I don`t pay you for that tasteless magaritas Conchita!

[Artful Drunktective]

Lurk in the shadows behind one of Lush's 19 sofas and wait for a rollerblader to fall down the spiral staircase so I can quickly steal his walkman.

I'll keep a lookout as I'm always lurking in the shadows behind one of Lush's sofa's, duvets, couches, lounge chairs, fainting chairs, maids, chefs, tiki bartender, body guards, bounty hunters, gardeners, shrubberies, palm trees, citrus trees, topiaries, Corinthian pillars, sculptures, and statues (not Confederate ones of course since they seem to be coming down rapidly) only to watch what happens on his spiral staircase.