The Life of Patchez

[Dear Booze]

His wife refuses to hold back his beard while he pukes.

[Artful Drunktective]

He has to drive an hour and a half just to pick up some Preparation H.

[RIPT2.0]

Maybe he needs one of these. I highly recommend them.

http://www.homedepot.com/p/Blue-Bidet-P ... gIZePD_BwE

[Dear Booze]

He is genuinely excited about the possibility of his HIV turning into full-blown AIDS.

[Artful Drunktective]

He is genuinely excited about the possibility of his HIV turning into full-blown AIDS.

Even more excited about his full blown diabetes.

[oettinger]

He is genuinely excited about the possibility of his HIV turning into full-blown AIDS.

He`s safe for now, He wore double rubber banging your wife.
And don`t be worried, the fingerfuck he gave to your daugher, it made her scream for daddy, but your still the one

[Badfellow]

^^^

This thread is molesty. And not in a good way.

[Badfellow]

According to Guinness Book of World Records, he is the second tallest lawn gnome in the state of Pennsylvania.

[Dear Booze]

He coined the term "molesty".

[Badfellow]

When he goes to the mall, small children cry and want to know why Santa isn't wearing a t-shirt.

[Badfellow]

His liver throws off antiprotons when it collides with whiskey.

[Badfellow]

His beard is made of kush.

[Artful Drunktective]

It takes him 45 minutes just to walk around his maze of a house and an additional hour just to walk across his property.

[Artful Drunktective]

He properly taught his toddler granddaughter how to play with a lighter.

[oettinger]

He properly taught his toddler granddaughter how to play with a lighter.

She finally got her exam in can opening. You can leave her for three days alone now