Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

[Lush City]

You might consider donning a badge and forming the Civil Dogshit Patrol.

CDP officers get a ton of ass.

Coming to NBC this fall... CDP: Long Beach.

Better than the Hasselhoff alternative: Turdwatch.

Oh. you're a riot Badfellow, a real riot!

[Badfellow]

Coming to NBC this fall... CDP: Long Beach.

Better than the Hasselhoff alternative: Turdwatch.

Oh. you're a riot Badfellow, a real riot!

Thanks. I'll be here all week performing comedy for the elderly as part of my community service agreement with the courts.

[Badfellow]

Yes, good caller Lush City, I do realize that was a glib and indignant response to a genuine plea of outrage against irresponsible dog owners and their unattended fecal business. But, in all fairness, have you ever been to Lagos, Nigeria and watched the kids try to get high huffing fermented shit from a plastic bottle?

The world and it's problems, much like the individual, are relative to the beholder. But by the other side of the same existential bit coin, all problems are equally as valid.

In regard to the dogshit ridden dullards who are the object of your rue, I would ask you to remember an old Russian mafiya saying: "feed your enemies". Violence and outrage are such blunt, unwieldy agents. No, get close. Then feed them dogshit petit fours and remind them Bob Barker would want both them and their pets to get spayed and/or neutered. Why blame the given domesticated animal for the stupidity of the owner?

Woof, woof. I digress.

[Bubblez]

In regard to the dogshit ridden dullards who are the object of your rue, I would ask you to remember an old Russian mafiya saying: "feed your enemies". Violence and outrage are such blunt, unwieldy agents. No, get close. Then feed them dogshit petit fours and remind them Bob Barker would want both them and their pets to get spayed and/or neutered. Why blame the given domesticated animal for the stupidity of the owner?

Woof, woof. I digress.

I see your point. Find the owner of said fecal machine. Save a bit of said feces and a bit of water. some marshmallow fluff , mix thoruoghly and poof Rectal pate as it were. Then plate nicely and leave in their mailbox

[mistah willies]

Dr. Cranium (is Cranium some sort of radioactive alloy? I could use something to replace the tin foil and the alumineeeum party hat I keep making in order to protect form the crazy alien brain stealing microwaves)

8ahem*

Dr Crane: I got me arse burned a while ago in a simple goof and aliens attacked me. I think they were politicians or something like that. It didn't feel good.

How do I protect meself from further attacks? Is booze involved?


.

[oettinger]

Dr. Cranium (is Cranium some sort of radioactive alloy?
.

Hmm sounds like it, but look for yourself on the Periodic table.
Where`s alcohol on it? That thing is incomplete damnit!

Fun game: Close your eyes and point to any element on it, then you have to drink it.

[RIPT2.0]

Dr. Cranium (is Cranium some sort of radioactive alloy?
.

Hmm sounds like it, but look for yourself on the Periodic table.
Where`s alcohol on it? That thing is incomplete damnit!

Fun game: Close your eyes and point to any element on it, then you have to drink it.

Oh it's there. Just put two C's togther with six H's, plus one O, and you have it.

[mistah willies]

... no you did not imagine the start of a periodic table list of drinks created by Dear Booze.

In the final transmogrification of the board to it's new server, some of the brain cells perished. It's like a blackout in the best way:. It happened, folks remember it, but there's no proof.

I was trying to decide if I'd steal Kr for Kraken on that list. It is indeed my own weakness. I am a red son.

Carry on...

[oettinger]

... no you did not imagine the start of a periodic table list of drinks created by Dear Booze.

In the final transmogrification of the board to it's new server, some of the brain cells perished. It's like a blackout in the best way:. It happened, folks remember it, but there's no proof.

I was trying to decide if I'd steal Kr for Kraken on that list. It is indeed my own weakness. I am a red son.

Carry on...

Of course Kraken was on it.
We covered around 40 percent and it showed on screen. Then boom, we mixed flourine with oxygen and I lit a smoke on skype

[Artful Drunktective]

[mistah willies]

I eschew mirrors. Mostly because of the memories of seeing my face when bending down over a big wall-mirror with a straw in one nostril and a finger shutting the other one. Not a good visual from a fiend-face perspective.


Any advice, you Drunkards?

[oettinger]

Lets redo the Peridodic system molecule one by one

H Herion

[Dear Booze]

The following is what I can recall from the booziotic table before the site did the old jump down turn around pick a bale o' cotton:

Ac Armagnac

Ag Angostura Bitters

Al Alabama Slammer or Absolut

Am Amaretto Sour

Ar Artful Detective

As Absinthe

At Aquavit

Au Goldschlager

B Bourbon

Ba Badfellow AND Bailey's

Be Beer

Bh Bombay Sapphire

Bi Bacardi Rum

Bk Black Sambuca

Br Brandy

C Corona

Ca Caipirinha

Cd Chambord

Ce Cointreau

Cf Cassava

Cl Coors Light

Cm Captain Morgan

Cn Cognac

Co Cabo Wabo

Cr Crown Royal

Cs Cachaça.

Cu Cuba Libre

Db Dear Booze

Ds Disaronno

Dy Dark & Stormy

Er Everclear

Es Elsinore Beer

Eu Eau de Vie

F Frangelico

Fe Fernet Branca

Fl Fireball

Fm French Martini

Fr Frank Kelly Rich

Ga Gimlet

Gd Guinness Draught

Gi Gin

H Highball

He Heineken

Hf Hefeweizens

Hg Huangjiu

Ho Holsten

Hs Hennessy

I Icehouse Beer

In Intoxicated

Ir Irish Coffee

K Kir or Kahlúa

Kr Kraken

La Labatt's Beer

Li Long Island Iced Tea

Lr

Lu Lush City

Lv

Md Mad Dog 20/20

Mg Mount Gay Rum

Mn Manhattan

Mo Modern Drunkard AND Midori

Mt Martini

N Neutral Grain Spirit

Na Natty Ice

Nb New Belgium

Nd

Ne Negus

Ni Negroni

No Negra Modelo

Np

O Ouzo or Oettinger

Os Old Smart Skunk

P Pina Colada

Pa Patchez AND Palinka

Pb Pabst Blue Ribbon

Pd Pernod

Pm Pimms Cup

Po Pacifico

Pr Paulaner

Pt Patrón

Pu Punch

Ra Raki

Rb Rob Roy

Re Remy Martin

Rf Roofie Cocktail

Rg Ramos Gin Fizz

Rh Rhum Agricole

Rn Rusty Nail

Ru Rum

S Sake

Sb Sabucca

Sc Sazerac

Se Seagram's

Sg Sloe Gin or Sangria

Si Singapore Sling

Sm Sambuca

Sn Schnapps

Ss Stinkfinger Steve

Ta Tanqueray

Tb Tuberculosis

Tc Tc Willies

Te Tequilla

Th Thirsty Drunk

Ti Three Olives

Tl Tequila Rose

Tm Tom Collins

Ts Triple Sec

U Union Square

Uuo You under opidates

Uup

Uus Usquebaugh

Uut

V Vodka

W Whisky

Xe Xante

Y Yukon Jack

Yg Yangmei Jiu

Zi Zima

Z Zombie

[Artful Drunktective]

^ ^ ^ I added a few. Feel free to change it up if need.

[Badfellow]

Ditto. Once that table is complete, it needs to be framed and preserved.