Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
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- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
Okole maluna!
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
Doctor Doctor, gimme the news, I got a bad case of lovin you.
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
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Rocket Car: burning out his fuse out here alone
Yes, I have a question for the health professionals:
You see, I have this rocket car packed full of fireworks. And not those crap-ass dud hecho en Me-hee-co kind either.
I want to drive my rocket car off a massive cliff. However, there are no suitable cliffs in my locale and the probability of getting pulled over in a rocket car on the interstate pretty much negates the idea of a road trip. Although, being in a rocket car, I could probably outrun the fuzz no sweat.
But my question is this: should I just build a rocket glider instead á la Escape From New York? Or would a rocket blimp (not the steampunk kind, God no) be a more prudent option? Are rocket ornithopters a thing? What about a rocket powered unicycle chauffeured by an orangutan? How many fireworks can I pack into a rocket powered unicycle? Will I have to change the orangutans chauffeur's diapers myself? Or is there a service I can hire to do it for me?
You see, I have this rocket car packed full of fireworks. And not those crap-ass dud hecho en Me-hee-co kind either.
I want to drive my rocket car off a massive cliff. However, there are no suitable cliffs in my locale and the probability of getting pulled over in a rocket car on the interstate pretty much negates the idea of a road trip. Although, being in a rocket car, I could probably outrun the fuzz no sweat.
But my question is this: should I just build a rocket glider instead á la Escape From New York? Or would a rocket blimp (not the steampunk kind, God no) be a more prudent option? Are rocket ornithopters a thing? What about a rocket powered unicycle chauffeured by an orangutan? How many fireworks can I pack into a rocket powered unicycle? Will I have to change the orangutans chauffeur's diapers myself? Or is there a service I can hire to do it for me?
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
Are dirigible vessels such as zeppelins and hot air balloons also out of the question?
Okole maluna!
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
Orangutan furiously pedaling a rocket powered unicycle image is stuck in my head now
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
Sometimes it Depends.
But most of the time
I only use...
Rocket BrandPremium Orangutan Strength Diapers
now with elastic band.
A rocket powered zeppelin made of led has a certain appeal to it, around the world in as many days at it takes. But will it support the titanic weight of all the liquor required to power the rocket? I'd be willing to skip the fireworks in order to load up on more booze and smokes. Can I bring the orangutan? I could use the diapers as ballast. And the orangutan can mix drinks and fling his poop at other unfriendly zeppelins.
But most of the time
I only use...
Rocket BrandPremium Orangutan Strength Diapers
now with elastic band.
By no means at all, my dear Drunkard savant.Artful Drunktective wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 6:05 pmAre dirigible vessels such as zeppelins and hot air balloons also out of the question?
A rocket powered zeppelin made of led has a certain appeal to it, around the world in as many days at it takes. But will it support the titanic weight of all the liquor required to power the rocket? I'd be willing to skip the fireworks in order to load up on more booze and smokes. Can I bring the orangutan? I could use the diapers as ballast. And the orangutan can mix drinks and fling his poop at other unfriendly zeppelins.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
A "registered trademark of the S.S. corporation"? Is it a V2 rocket diaper?
The Gerrys are bombing Britain with dirty diapers, by George!
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
HA! I was waiting for the SS joke. Didn't take long!
Okole maluna!
- ThirstyDrunk
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
SOP HO! Bally Jerry primed his kite, right in the how's your father. Hairy blighter, dickey birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a wasp ear, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the bertie!
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
Reminds me of this old gem:ThurstonDrunk wrote: ↑Tue Jan 30, 2018 5:58 pmSOP HO! Bally Jerry primed his kite, right in the how's your father. Hairy blighter, dickey birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a wasp ear, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the bertie!
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/British_Moon-landing
- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
RIP Marty Crane (John Mahoney). May you rest in drink (Ballantine Beer).
Playing the "Veneer" drinking game every time it's mentioned during the Antiques Road Show.
Playing the "Veneer" drinking game every time it's mentioned during the Antiques Road Show.
Okole maluna!
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
Yes, question here.
For my weekend job, I drive a short bus full of special needs adult children. They're very special grown up kids, but sometimes they drink a lot of rotgut booze and get out of hand. Is there some sort of method you might recommend to help keep these monkeys under control?
Perhaps some sort of bludgeon or chemical spray? Do these canes with stun guns built into the tip really work? Or should I just beat them with telephone books and take their liquor?
For my weekend job, I drive a short bus full of special needs adult children. They're very special grown up kids, but sometimes they drink a lot of rotgut booze and get out of hand. Is there some sort of method you might recommend to help keep these monkeys under control?
Perhaps some sort of bludgeon or chemical spray? Do these canes with stun guns built into the tip really work? Or should I just beat them with telephone books and take their liquor?
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
Chocolate bars full of pills. I`ve seen this in the zoo onceBadfellow wrote: ↑Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:13 amYes, question here.
For my weekend job, I drive a short bus full of special needs adult children. They're very special grown up kids, but sometimes they drink a lot of rotgut booze and get out of hand. Is there some sort of method you might recommend to help keep these monkeys under control?
Perhaps some sort of bludgeon or chemical spray? Do these canes with stun guns built into the tip really work? Or should I just beat them with telephone books and take their liquor?
Drink!
- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
Which exhibit were you in when they fed you this? Should I call PETA?oettinger wrote: ↑Fri Feb 16, 2018 11:16 amChocolate bars full of pills. I`ve seen this in the zoo onceBadfellow wrote: ↑Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:13 amYes, question here.
For my weekend job, I drive a short bus full of special needs adult children. They're very special grown up kids, but sometimes they drink a lot of rotgut booze and get out of hand. Is there some sort of method you might recommend to help keep these monkeys under control?
Perhaps some sort of bludgeon or chemical spray? Do these canes with stun guns built into the tip really work? Or should I just beat them with telephone books and take their liquor?
Okole maluna!
- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!
Good evening Seattle, friends and drunkards alike!
The spring equinox is upon us. What does spring remind us of? New beginnings! Plant your seeds. Crawl out from that log you slumber under and embrace the new day. Evidently Jesus is resurrecting again in a few days so lets boil and dye some eggs and celebrate! Share with your fellow drunkards here what's on your mind!
The spring equinox is upon us. What does spring remind us of? New beginnings! Plant your seeds. Crawl out from that log you slumber under and embrace the new day. Evidently Jesus is resurrecting again in a few days so lets boil and dye some eggs and celebrate! Share with your fellow drunkards here what's on your mind!
Okole maluna!