Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

Post by Artful Drunktective »

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Okole maluna!

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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

Post by ThirstyDrunk »

Doctor Doctor, gimme the news, I got a bad case of lovin you.
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought

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Rocket Car: burning out his fuse out here alone

Post by Badfellow »

Yes, I have a question for the health professionals:

You see, I have this rocket car packed full of fireworks. And not those crap-ass dud hecho en Me-hee-co kind either.

I want to drive my rocket car off a massive cliff. However, there are no suitable cliffs in my locale and the probability of getting pulled over in a rocket car on the interstate pretty much negates the idea of a road trip. Although, being in a rocket car, I could probably outrun the fuzz no sweat.

But my question is this: should I just build a rocket glider instead á la Escape From New York? Or would a rocket blimp (not the steampunk kind, God no) be a more prudent option? Are rocket ornithopters a thing? What about a rocket powered unicycle chauffeured by an orangutan? How many fireworks can I pack into a rocket powered unicycle? Will I have to change the orangutans chauffeur's diapers myself? Or is there a service I can hire to do it for me?
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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Are dirigible vessels such as zeppelins and hot air balloons also out of the question?
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

Post by mistah willies »

Orangutan furiously pedaling a rocket powered unicycle image is stuck in my head now

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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

Post by Badfellow »

Sometimes it Depends.
But most of the time
I only use...
Rocket BrandPremium Orangutan Strength Diapers
now with elastic band.


Artful Drunktective wrote:
Mon Jan 29, 2018 6:05 pm
Are dirigible vessels such as zeppelins and hot air balloons also out of the question?
By no means at all, my dear Drunkard savant.

A rocket powered zeppelin made of led has a certain appeal to it, around the world in as many days at it takes. But will it support the titanic weight of all the liquor required to power the rocket? I'd be willing to skip the fireworks in order to load up on more booze and smokes. Can I bring the orangutan? I could use the diapers as ballast. And the orangutan can mix drinks and fling his poop at other unfriendly zeppelins.
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

Post by Badfellow »

mistah willies wrote:
Tue Jan 30, 2018 5:57 am
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A "registered trademark of the S.S. corporation"? Is it a V2 rocket diaper?

The Gerrys are bombing Britain with dirty diapers, by George!
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

Post by Artful Drunktective »

HA! I was waiting for the SS joke. Didn't take long!
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

Post by ThirstyDrunk »

SOP HO! Bally Jerry primed his kite, right in the how's your father. Hairy blighter, dickey birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a wasp ear, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the bertie!
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought

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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

Post by mistah willies »

ThurstonDrunk wrote:
Tue Jan 30, 2018 5:58 pm
SOP HO! Bally Jerry primed his kite, right in the how's your father. Hairy blighter, dickey birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a wasp ear, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the bertie!
Reminds me of this old gem:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/British_Moon-landing

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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

Post by Artful Drunktective »

RIP Marty Crane (John Mahoney). May you rest in drink (Ballantine Beer).

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Playing the "Veneer" drinking game every time it's mentioned during the Antiques Road Show.
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

Post by Badfellow »

Yes, question here.

For my weekend job, I drive a short bus full of special needs adult children. They're very special grown up kids, but sometimes they drink a lot of rotgut booze and get out of hand. Is there some sort of method you might recommend to help keep these monkeys under control?

Perhaps some sort of bludgeon or chemical spray? Do these canes with stun guns built into the tip really work? Or should I just beat them with telephone books and take their liquor?
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

Post by oettinger »

Badfellow wrote:
Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:13 am
Yes, question here.

For my weekend job, I drive a short bus full of special needs adult children. They're very special grown up kids, but sometimes they drink a lot of rotgut booze and get out of hand. Is there some sort of method you might recommend to help keep these monkeys under control?

Perhaps some sort of bludgeon or chemical spray? Do these canes with stun guns built into the tip really work? Or should I just beat them with telephone books and take their liquor?
Chocolate bars full of pills. I`ve seen this in the zoo once
Drink!
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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

Post by Artful Drunktective »

oettinger wrote:
Fri Feb 16, 2018 11:16 am
Badfellow wrote:
Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:13 am
Yes, question here.

For my weekend job, I drive a short bus full of special needs adult children. They're very special grown up kids, but sometimes they drink a lot of rotgut booze and get out of hand. Is there some sort of method you might recommend to help keep these monkeys under control?

Perhaps some sort of bludgeon or chemical spray? Do these canes with stun guns built into the tip really work? Or should I just beat them with telephone books and take their liquor?
Chocolate bars full of pills. I`ve seen this in the zoo once
Which exhibit were you in when they fed you this? Should I call PETA?
Okole maluna!

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Re: Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Good evening Seattle, friends and drunkards alike!

The spring equinox is upon us. What does spring remind us of? New beginnings! Plant your seeds. Crawl out from that log you slumber under and embrace the new day. Evidently Jesus is resurrecting again in a few days so lets boil and dye some eggs and celebrate! Share with your fellow drunkards here what's on your mind!

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Okole maluna!

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