Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

[Savage]

Easter. April Fools. This is so appropriate. Don't you just, I mean, can't you see? Three days later. Jesus. Zapped off to his (Dad's) kingdom. He sees all the people, looking dumbfounded after the stone is rolled back. He's kicked back, with a goblet of wine, laughing his ass off. The fish is on the grill, Jesus bastes, his brother is sulking in the corner--"Dad always liked you best."

[mistah willies]

Dr. Cranium, why do the DRYs wish that everyone should be as miserable as they are?

Isn't there enough sadness in the world without some joie d'boire?

Wait, almost forgot to have a sip with no remorse.

Sans regret.

DRINK!

[Badfellow]

In relation to your question, good caller, I can only say of happiness and sadness that you cannot have one without the other. While diametrically distinct, the two exist of an intrinsic relationship, much like the noble Wets and the dreadful Drys who are by the timeless laws of the universe bound to forever clash. We just so happen to be the ones on the winning side. So rejoice in that, good caller!

That's the short answer.

For the long answer, please tune into my regularly broadcast program on CB channel 19 within receiving range of the Slutty J Truck Stop Plaza in Groaners Pinch, California.

[Artful Drunktective]

^^^ Yes valid point good sir. That's why us drunkards retailiated with D.A.M.M.

[Badfellow]

Yes, I have a first date coming up soon with a real, live, non-brain dead, gender certified woman and I'm wondering what the state of advice might be on how to proceed. She's not exactly the rowdy type, but she does like to drink whiskey and have fun.

As one option, I could take her out for casual dinner and liquoring. Or alternately I can invite her to my stylish shanty and cook her a three course meal, and get liquored. Either way we're getting liquored.

You see my dilemma here.

[Artful Drunktective]

Are you planning on involving roofies on this date?

[Badfellow]

Roofies shouldn't be required but will be made available upon request.

[Patchez]

Take her out to dinner and then to one of those axe throwing bars.

[Artful Drunktective]

Yes Ax throwing bars then roofies, of course. Be a gentleman.

[Patchez]

Yes Ax throwing bars then roofies, of course. Be a gentleman.

Roofies then an axe throwing bar would be way more entertaining.

[Artful Drunktective]

I concur. From experience.

[oettinger]

Also if the date goes nowhere you can take them yourself