Not even joking

[Badfellow]

I was at the local last night... you know, getting pie-eyed on Jim Beam and ganja gummies. In my daze, I happen to notice a nice, new hand written sign behind the bar advertising $2 shots on some sort of sweetened ethyl garbage they're wanting to quite literally liquidate.

Amongst the carnage: Skinny Girl Coconut Rum.

I like rum. A lot. And I like coconut. But this Skinny Girl bullshit I shall not abide.

Refusing to pay a cent, the bartender Chris poured me a sample much as on a dare as anything else and promptly told me "no, no, I'll tell you when you're done drinking".

So, yes. I drank Skinny Girl Coconut Rum last night. And yes, it was as nasty and artificial as you might imagine. But, taking one for the team, I downed it with a smile and told Chris to fuck off. It took 3 more Beams to get that shitty-assed skinny girl taste out of my mouth.

Why can't someone make good coconut rum and call it Chubby Chick? I'd drink that for $2.

[ThirstyDrunk]

Fat Bitch Rum
Lardass Cunt Rum

[Badfellow]

Ex-Wife Whiskey

Capt. Fartbangers Ass Spiced Rum

Stinkfinger Schnapps

[Dear Booze]

General Turdington's Jar-Aged Bourbon

Fuckstain & Tonic

Mother's Mint Jelly Stout

Black Thunder Dark & Greasy Malt Liquor

Cum Bubble & Coke

[hereforthebeer]

I was at the local last night... you know, getting pie-eyed on Jim Beam and ganja gummies...

Refusing to pay a cent, the bartender Chris poured me a sample much as on a dare as anything else and promptly told me "no, no, I'll tell you when you're done drinking"...

Lol this was a very funny post.

What's the secret to getting bartenders to serve you free drink? From my experience the only time I've heard them say "I'll tell you when you're done" is when they're throwing me out.

[ThirstyDrunk]

Puta Culo Gordo mas epistoso Tequila

O.B. McGinecoly's Twatspsraugh 12 year scotch

[RIPT2.0]

G. Dickel just raised you a brain cell.

[Badfellow]

G. Dickel just raised you a brain cell.

Fold.

[mistah willies]

G. Dickel just raised you a brain cell.

Fold.

Greasy Bathrobe, on the rocks. Frig slush.

Hmmm... What's inside a Greasy Bathrobe?


Blecch.


.

[Badfellow]

Hey, pally. Can you spot me a couple of brain cells until next Tuesday? I promise to pay you back.

[Badfellow]

Malort Holiday Greasy Bathrobe Reserve

MD 20/20 Brawndo flavor

Igno-Slut Liqueur

Ramadan O'Doul's

Beef Ramen Bourbon

Trumpahol

Paruvian Coca Laced Pisco
in a special Mork & Mindy collectable bottle

[Dear Booze]

I have the Abbott and Costello's Tom & Jerry mix in the Mork & Mindy collectible bottle. It was a Holiday Pack from Costco and it came with the little Amos & Andy shot glasses. New in package. Never been opened. Shows some shelf wear. Minimum bid: $39.95. Buy it now: $369.00. Contact seller for shipping costs. 4 days, 27 hours left.

[Badfellow]

Fat Bitch Rum
Lardass Cunt Rum

What kinda chicks you been picking up lately, Thirstitude?

[ThirstyDrunk]

Stinky Feet Obnoxious Loudmouth Cumdumpster Vodka
Gift pack comes with a syringe, a condom, and a travel size listerine

[Badfellow]

Stinky Feet Obnoxious Loudmouth Cumdumpster Vodka
Gift pack comes with a syringe, a condom, and a travel size listerine

Get there behind the times and take a toxic dump o' the plumb,
You may be spastic and plastic,
But not so goddamn drastic or fantastic
Listerine martinis
Are fucking fantastic...