Your drunkard card

[ThirstyDrunk]

And not just booze but discounts on othe rshitlikr froceries, you know drunk munchies, like 2 for 1 pizza rolls because they know you will pass out and burn one bag. Or maybe thats just me
.

[ThirstyDrunk]

15% off on a 12 pack of yacos from Yaaaco Bell with your valid DrunCard.

[ThirstyDrunk]

And if you get lost and puke your pants and crawl through briar and bramble DrunCard gets you a new suit

[ThirstyDrunk]

What will you do?
What WILL you do?

Cheers with DruCard*PREMIUM
free medical attyention , up to 2 L plasma per claim(Upgrade to Gold for unlimited blood and embrionic cells)
free suit upon suit loss/damage, suit replaced no questions asked (existing suit disposed of at extra cost)

[ThirstyDrunk]

DrunCard Gold gets you:
*you win a specific bar argument and opponent achieves nasal blood loss. (Limit twice in one billing period)
*Automatic Uber VIP status (abusive language upgrade available at erxtra charge)

[ThirstyDrunk]

* Free emergency flask refill (standard whiskey at going market price, limit twice per billing period)
*One button drag out service (dragged to nearest taxi/public transport, vomit charge extra)

[oettinger]

Drunkcard gets you divorced in no time
Missle airstrike on the significant other not included

[Artful Drunktective]

I wanna DrunCard. Platinum status please. I qualify. You don't have to do a druncredit check. And I want some Andy Capp Hot Fries with my membership.

[Nausea]

Each Platinum DrunCard now features a preposterous holographic image of FKR (slirreeed b hys nayme) sitting upon a throne of empty Brutal Hammer glasses -- for theft-prevention purposes.

[Badfellow]

I received +10,000 DrunCard just for drinking half a liter of Evan Williams and worshipping Satan! Thank you, DrunCard, and praise hail the Dark One!

[Rooster]

If the DrunCard comes with credit, Sweet Lou will just run it up at the strip club.

[scream ale]

we can see that you have drank over 3.75 L of bourbon this month so tonight you drink liquor half price, beers are free."

This is genius.

[Badfellow]

That was then. This is now with DrunCard+

Get 175%+ wasted and put it on DrunCredit! WAYYYYYSTED!!!

We got blueberry drinx, rhubarb drinx, mezcal drinx. We finance wild bong hits and cheeseburgers too. It’s all a matter of whether or not it matters. Please apply today with #Loan Officer Thurston Drunkardton ÌII

[Savage]

Drunkcard, don't leave home without it.