Your drunkard card

[ThirstyDrunk]

There should be a drunkard card
showing you are a citizen of the world.
garnering yoiu special priveledges
and it should be made of a spill proof non paper polymer so as not to be misconstrued as a puke scoop or ass wipe or somthing
Screeching frequencies of pulsing infinities

[ThirstyDrunk]

A MOD has already stolen this idea I bet.
Andy Capp hot fries, you;'re my only friend.
I be t noone here remembers Andy Capp that fucker was a drunk if his nose was shaded in he was fuckin plowed
I loved this cartoon even as a child one of my favorites, i can't draw it out for you but
Andys is stumblin home, nose all shaded in red, he trips and falls flat on his face.
Gets up, brushes himself off, and says
"Dadburn flippin sidewalk crack"

[Badfellow]

A MOD has already stolen this idea I bet...

You're probably right. And I ate all your Andy Capp's Hot Fries too. Got anymore beer?

[Badfellow]

Introducing the
DRUNCARD

A new way for professional drinkers to earn points and special rewards while getting blackout, one-eyed squintingly shithoused. Show your DRUNCARD around town at various dives and brothels for discounts on all sorts of shit.

Sign up now and start earning Druncard tipsy points toward rewards just by pouring liquor into your piehöle. It's that easy!



*500 Druncard points: 1 warm 40oz. of the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull.

*1000 Druncard points: Get chained to a radiator with the key in the bottom of a bottle of Everclear.

*5000 Druncard points: John Madden will personally come to your home and use your bath towels to wipe his ass.

*10,000 Druncard points: Cannonball Run and Cannonball Run II on RCA Laserdisc, assorted drugs and a 16 gallon keg of Natural Ice for your Burt Reynolds mustache party.

50,000 Druncard points: All expenses payed trip to the Berlin Enema Clinic for vodka colonic tonics, plus a track jacket that says "ASSMAN #1".

100,000 Druncard points: Free replacement with mimetic poly alloy liver and solid titanium testicles.

1,000,000 Druncard points: Your own dive bar complete with booze, hookers, bums, drug dealers and a sawed off shotgun under the counter.

[Patchez]

Can we have Telly Savalas do the commercials like Players Club?

You'll love it, baby.

[Badfellow]

Well, he died in 1994. But sure, let's exhume the body and shoot a commercial.

[Patchez]

Well, he died in 1994. But sure, let's exhume the body and shoot a commercial.

I'm down. Grave robbin' baby.

[ThirstyDrunk]

While you're at it get Karl Malden as well, he can pitch the drunCard travelers checks.
"What will you do?
What WILL you do?"

[Patchez]

While you're at it get Karl Malden as well, he can pitch the drunCard travelers checks.
"What will you do?
What WILL you do?"

This. So much this.

[ThirstyDrunk]

Karl looked like a drinker, I mean he had the nose for it anyway.
So, dig em up, get Telly and Karl all slobbering dead drunk, and get this shit into production.
"dOn't lEave HoMe wathOut it, BLECH"

Also I've heard that your hair keeps growing after you die so somebody may have to shave the afro off of Telly to make him somewhat recognisable.

[oettinger]

Karl looked like a drinker, I mean he had the nose for it anyway.
So, dig em up, get Telly and Karl all slobbering dead drunk, and get this shit into production.
"dOn't lEave HoMe wathOut it, BLECH"

Also I've heard that your hair keeps growing after you die so somebody may have to shave the afro off of Telly to make him somewhat recognisable.

Funny, my hair doesn`t grow and I`m alive. It turns gray and greasy though.

Druncard blanche you could say

[Badfellow]

Also I've heard that your hair keeps growing after you die so somebody may have to shave the afro off of Telly to make him somewhat recognisable.

Hope to hell we're not talking about the "downstairs" afro here.

If Karl and Telly got in a fight, I think Karl would rip him a new one and shove that lollipop where the herring don't swim. IMFHO.

[Artful Drunktective]

DRUNCARD

1,000,000 Druncard points: Your own dive bar complete with booze, hookers, bums, drug dealers and a sawed off shotgun under the counter.

Dear Booze has his own dive bar now?

[Badfellow]

Dear Booze's brain IS a dive bar. If you listen closely, you can hear the depravity.

[ThirstyDrunk]

I ge t free sandwiches and chips and drinks from Speedway for using my card.
Even money off gas.
Imagine if you had a card , you redeem your points, "OK Thurston, by your card we can see that you have drank over 3.75 L of bourbon this month so tonight you drink liquor half price, beers are free."