The ways of Artful living

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oettinger
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Re: The ways of Artful living

Post by oettinger » Sun Mar 31, 2019 6:46 pm

Purple meas BJ, alarm me on that please
Is it just me or did the boxed bumwine cork a little bit?
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Savage
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Re: The ways of Artful living

Post by Savage » Mon Apr 01, 2019 2:27 am

I remember mood rings. They were a thing when I was a kid. I think blue meant mellow, greenish-blue was thoughtful, purple was psychic and black meant you should probably ask for assistance, as you might be dead. The rarest of all mood ring colors, a fierce orange-red (often with sparks) called for a safety team response. A shrill alarm would sound and the anger containment squad would throw a fence up around you and deploy a containment net drop. Then they'd spray you with a paralytic spray, and lob a grenade at your angry, dangerous ass. Afterward, when the smoke cleared a bit, the newly created OSHA hazmat team would arrive and carry your smoking remains away to be cremated at a remote location in the Nevada desert.
like tears in rain

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: The ways of Artful living

Post by Artful Drunktective » Mon Apr 01, 2019 5:12 am

Nausea wrote:
Sun Mar 31, 2019 4:16 pm
The color selection for each of her posts corresponds to the color state of her mood ring, which she thinks actually works.
It does actually work! If you ever see my text in black you know someone is getting roundhouse kicked through some saloon doors and a bottle of rum crashing through a window.
How can it be so cold in here? It's like Greenland in here. We've got to get some booze. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this. - Withnail

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Re: The ways of Artful living

Post by Artful Drunktective » Mon Apr 01, 2019 5:15 am

oettinger wrote:
Sun Mar 31, 2019 6:46 pm
Purple meas BJ, alarm me on that please
Has anyone created a meme I can use that says "STFU Oettinger!"? Surely Palinka must have.
How can it be so cold in here? It's like Greenland in here. We've got to get some booze. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this. - Withnail

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Re: The ways of Artful living

Post by Artful Drunktective » Fri Apr 26, 2019 2:23 pm

This is artful living. And me every day:

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How can it be so cold in here? It's like Greenland in here. We've got to get some booze. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this. - Withnail

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Badfellow
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Re: The ways of Artful living

Post by Badfellow » Sun May 12, 2019 6:21 pm

Christ, lady. Could you make your signature just a wee bit bigger?
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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Re: The ways of Artful living

Post by Artful Drunktective » Mon May 13, 2019 8:35 am

^ ^ ^ I'm workin' on it I just haven't found the right tasteful pic of you on layin' on your bearskin rug yet.
How can it be so cold in here? It's like Greenland in here. We've got to get some booze. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this. - Withnail

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Patchez
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Re: The ways of Artful living

Post by Patchez » Tue May 14, 2019 12:29 am

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Mon May 13, 2019 8:35 am
^ ^ ^ I'm workin' on it I just haven't found the right tasteful pic of you on layin' on your burtskin rug yet.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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Re: The ways of Artful living

Post by Badfellow » Tue May 14, 2019 8:44 am

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Mon May 13, 2019 8:35 am
^ ^ ^ I'm workin' on it I just haven't found the right tasteful pic of you on layin' on your bearskin rug yet.
Tasteful? Hah! Pack a lunch, you might be looking for a mighty long time.

Patchez wrote:
Tue May 14, 2019 12:29 am
Artful Drunktective wrote:
Mon May 13, 2019 8:35 am
^ ^ ^ I'm workin' on it I just haven't found the right tasteful pic of you on layin' on your burtskin rug yet.
I see what you did there, Zima boy. Your wife obviously didn't see the sign "please don't feed or get married to the bears".
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Re: The ways of Artful living

Post by Badfellow » Tue May 14, 2019 1:19 pm

She has a big time crush on Michael Dudikoff.

If you don't know who Michael Dudikoff is, please click here to find out so you can point at her and laugh.
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Re: The ways of Artful living

Post by Artful Drunktective » Tue May 14, 2019 9:04 pm

Badfellow wrote:
Tue May 14, 2019 1:19 pm
She has a big time crush on Michael Dudikoff.

If you don't know who Michael Dudikoff is, please click here to find out so you can point at her and laugh.

First off jerk-wad, I never said I had a crush on dehydrated Michael Dudikoff that looks like an ex-coke addict from a dried up rock band.

My Dudikoff bear skin rug looks like this:


Image
How can it be so cold in here? It's like Greenland in here. We've got to get some booze. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this. - Withnail

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Re: The ways of Artful living

Post by Badfellow » Wed May 15, 2019 11:12 am

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Tue May 14, 2019 9:04 pm
First off jerk-wad, I never said I had a crush on dehydrated Michael Dudikoff that looks like an ex-coke addict from a dried up rock band. [/color]
Chill out, butt-munch. Don't get your SPEEDO© in a bind.




Other stars of TV, movies, music, porn, etc. that Artful Detective has had an artful crush on:

*Bo & Luke Duke
*Fred Dryer aka. Hunter
*Joey Lawrence
*New Kids On The Block, all of them
*ALF
*Jar Jar Binks
*Matlock
*Walker: Texas Ranger
*Brutus Beefcake
*Billy Barty
*Fabio
*Micheal Bolton
*Dolph Lundgren
*A short phase when she thought Steven Segal was "dreamy"
*Wilford Brimley
*Don Knotts
*Billy Ray Cyrus
*Corky from Life Goes On
*Wolf Blitzer
*John Long
*The purple Teletubby
*Robert Stack
*Steve Gutenberg
*Robert Wagner
*George Hamilton
*Spiro T. Agnew
*Lee Majors
*Wink Martindale
*The guy on the label of Brawny Paper Towels
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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Re: The ways of Artful living

Post by Artful Drunktective » Wed May 15, 2019 12:06 pm

Badfellow wrote:
Wed May 15, 2019 11:12 am
Artful Drunktective wrote:
Tue May 14, 2019 9:04 pm
First off jerk-wad, I never said I had a crush on dehydrated Michael Dudikoff that looks like an ex-coke addict from a dried up rock band. [/color]
Other stars of TV, movies, music, porn, etc. that Artful Detective has had an artful crush on:

*Bo & Luke Duke
*Fred Dryer aka. Hunter
*Joey Lawrence
*New Kids On The Block, all of them
*ALF
*Jar Jar Binks
*Matlock
*Walker: Texas Ranger
*Brutus Beefcake
*Billy Barty
*Fabio
*Micheal Bolton
*Dolph Lundgren
*A short phase when she thought Steven Segal was "dreamy"
*Wilford Brimley
*Don Knotts
*Billy Ray Cyrus
*Corky from Life Goes On
*Wolf Blitzer
*John Long
*The purple Teletubby
*Robert Stack
*Steve Gutenberg
*Robert Wagner
*George Hamilton
*Spiro T. Agnew
*Lee Majors
*Wink Martindale
*The guy on the label of Brawny Paper Towels
*Bo Duke
*Fred Dryer aka. Hunter
*New Kids On The Block- only Jon but Jordan also grew up to be pretty hot
*ALF - Nope. But Oett has massive crush
*Matlock -I don't crush on fellow detectives.
*Walker: Texas Ranger - I don't crush on fellow roundhouse kickers.
*Fabio - I only like guys with long hair who are bald on top.
*Micheal Bolton - too much hair and not bald enough
*Dolph Lundgren - if I was drunk probably
*A short phase when she thought Steven Segal was "dreamy" - never happened. only like ponytails on bald guys
*Wilford Brimley - too young
*Don Knotts - too sexy
*Billy Ray Cyrus - too mullety
*Corky from Life Goes On - too Down Syndromey
*The purple Teletubby - he's homosexual
*Robert Stack - hell yes
*Steve Gutenberg - one German is plenty, danke
*Robert Wagner - meh
*George Hamilton - too greasy and tan
*Spiro T. Agnew - not into politics
*Lee Majors - sure why not
*The guy on the label of Brawny Paper Towels - nah. reminds me of my dad back in the 70's.
How can it be so cold in here? It's like Greenland in here. We've got to get some booze. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this. - Withnail

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Savage
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Re: The ways of Artful living

Post by Savage » Tue May 21, 2019 9:19 am

I'm having a feeling... I think it is deja-vu. Oh well, I feel lucky. Think I'll go buy a lottery ticket.
like tears in rain

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