Functional Retardic?

A place for general talk.

Moderators: NYDingbat, oettinger, Judge, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator, Artful Drunktective, mistah willies

wtf
Tippler
Tippler
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2018 11:36 pm

Functional Retardic?

Post by wtf »

So, what is the expert advice on being a functional, alcoholic parent?

User avatar
brandonman
Inebriate Savant
Inebriate Savant
Posts: 556
Joined: Wed Dec 24, 2014 12:01 am
Location: St Louis, MO

Re: Functional Alcoholic?

Post by brandonman »

I'm going to counter-signal here.

Don't. Having a child would be one of the things that would really reign me in. Being a father, with a stable career, is my end goal in life. Seriously, put your child first. Nothing wrong with saucing on the weekends when there's a babysitter. But if there's not, either you're going to have marital problems, or severe problems with child-rearing if you both do it, and the State is going to take the child. You are at the state where you have a dependent human being, relying on you. Plese don't fuck this up.

When it comes to kids, suck it up, and be there for them, and undrunk the fuck up.

Be a good father. Be there. Don't be a douchecanoe. I was with the love of my life, and had cleaned up, and still lost this chance to be a father, for various reasons. Don't lose this.Two years down the line, it still hurts thinking about her, and the child she's had. Don't be me. undrunk up. Seize what you have.

Unless you're the fuckin' dude that ruined my chance with the love of my life. Then, eh, hit the everclear, please.
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" -Tom Waits

User avatar
mistah willies
Drinking Like W.C.
Drinking Like W.C.
Posts: 6702
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2013 9:48 pm
Location: A ship upon the vast ocean of the Mighty MDM
Contact:

Re: Functional Alcoholic?

Post by mistah willies »

^ ^ ^

Dayam, B, that was the moment of clarity.

It's true that a Modern Drunkard takes care of business like a professional, in everything approached. Be it drinking, or raising a young 'un, or "seizing what you have"

It's unseemly to be a staggering, blathering fool all 24 hours of the day.

User avatar
oettinger
Juicing Like Jackie
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 10909
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:23 am

Re: Functional Alcoholic?

Post by oettinger »

Yep I second what Brandonman said. This is why I`ll probably never become a father. They took my ex girlfriends child away just like he described. Her drunk crying sessions especially during christmas time were brutal to endure
I need your clothes your booze and your cigarettes
Image

User avatar
Badfellow
Ripped Like Reed
Ripped Like Reed
Posts: 8925
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
Location: Inside the Ethyl Molecule

Re: Functional Alcoholic?

Post by Badfellow »

What exactly do we mean by "alcoholic"? As a kid, I grew up around relatives who constantly had a beer in hand, and by some forms of definition they were all alcoholics.

Children being exposed to alcohol through culture and family is a fairly normal thing. Not that a person should get shitfaced in front of their kid, mind you, unless of course your kid is old enough to buy you drinks. Denying that alcohol exists in front of children is no better than getting drunk and neglecting them.

Just saying, the take on the question may be more complicated than appears at first glance.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

User avatar
ThirstyDrunk
Juicing Like Jackie
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 12476
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2006 10:35 pm
Location: Xenia

Re: Functional Alcoholic?

Post by ThirstyDrunk »

Bullshit. Fuck a bunch of kids, Stay just undrunk enough to make money to stay drunk.

If i had a kid I would name him:
1. Popeye
2. Chertse Belovski
3. P'Tak
4. Special Patrol Group
5. Adolph
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought

User avatar
Nausea
King Cockeyed
King Cockeyed
Posts: 1680
Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:15 am

Re: Functional Alcoholic?

Post by Nausea »

Lord Thurstongus wrote:
Sun Apr 01, 2018 10:19 am
Fuck a bunch of kids, Stay just undrunk enough to make money to stay drunk.
I'm with you, except on the fucking a bunch of kids part.
Oh God, my grandmother would kill me.

User avatar
oettinger
Juicing Like Jackie
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 10909
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:23 am

Re: Functional Alcoholic?

Post by oettinger »

Lord Thurstongus wrote:
Sun Apr 01, 2018 10:19 am
Bullshit. Fuck a bunch of kids, Stay just undrunk enough to make money to stay drunk.

If i had a kid I would kill it

Number zero:=?!"§& 0

.1 Shitface
69 upside down, inside out
100001644783737373 Catlitter #899088909090

1. Popeye
2. Chertse Belovski
3. P'Tak
4. Special Patrol Group
5. Adolph
Aha!
Always knew you were a child lover.
No ahem, meant, you are some lovely ch... ah fakk
Don`t quote me in court with this plz
I need your clothes your booze and your cigarettes
Image

User avatar
Badfellow
Ripped Like Reed
Ripped Like Reed
Posts: 8925
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
Location: Inside the Ethyl Molecule

Re: Functional Alcoholic?

Post by Badfellow »

Lord Thurstongus wrote:
Sun Apr 01, 2018 10:19 am
3. P'Tak
Hey, cool! That's the Klingon word for feces!

I'd name my first born Stoopid Littlefucker.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

User avatar
ScottMcG
Hooch Hound
Hooch Hound
Posts: 61
Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2018 8:32 pm
Location: Twin Cities, MN

Re: Functional Alcoholic?

Post by ScottMcG »

Badfellow wrote:
Sun Apr 01, 2018 10:04 am
As a kid, I grew up around relatives who constantly had a beer in hand...

Just saying, the take on the question may be more complicated than appears at first glance.
Same here. At every family gathering, my parents or relatives had alcohol at hand. The nannies...or is it the ninnies...say that is alcoholism. Neither of my parents are alcoholics. I believe we need to be careful how we label behaviors.
Amateur demolition derby on the carpeting afterward

User avatar
Badfellow
Ripped Like Reed
Ripped Like Reed
Posts: 8925
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
Location: Inside the Ethyl Molecule

Re: Functional Alcoholic?

Post by Badfellow »

Alcoholism is a belief, not a disease.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

User avatar
Sammy
Inebriate Savant
Inebriate Savant
Posts: 686
Joined: Mon Jun 19, 2017 4:25 pm
Location: Tyler, TX

Re: Functional Alcoholic?

Post by Sammy »

ScottMcG wrote:
Sun Apr 01, 2018 6:49 pm
Badfellow wrote:
Sun Apr 01, 2018 10:04 am
As a kid, I grew up around relatives who constantly had a beer in hand...

Just saying, the take on the question may be more complicated than appears at first glance.
Same here. At every family gathering, my parents or relatives had alcohol at hand. The nannies...or is it the ninnies...say that is alcoholism. Neither of my parents are alcoholics. I believe we need to be careful how we label behaviors.

Well, mine are, at least in the world of politically correct definitions. Now that my Dad is 83 and my Mom is 87 they've toned down their act quite a bit. If Dad drinks too much he falls down. If Mom drinks too much she becomes very opinionated, so they both strive to behave in public. But there was a time when the Manhattens flowed every evening before dinner, with at least a few beers to follow after dinner. The fact that they're still alive and living independently means there's a small shred of hope for me! It's in my blood. I not only accept that I embrace it!

User avatar
mistah willies
Drinking Like W.C.
Drinking Like W.C.
Posts: 6702
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2013 9:48 pm
Location: A ship upon the vast ocean of the Mighty MDM
Contact:

Re: Functional Alcoholic?

Post by mistah willies »

Sammy wrote:
Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:00 am
ScottMcG wrote:
Sun Apr 01, 2018 6:49 pm
Badfellow wrote:
Sun Apr 01, 2018 10:04 am
As a kid, I grew up around relatives who constantly had a beer in hand...

Just saying, the take on the question may be more complicated than appears at first glance.
Same here. At every family gathering, my parents or relatives had alcohol at hand. The nannies...or is it the ninnies...say that is alcoholism. Neither of my parents are alcoholics. I believe we need to be careful how we label behaviors.

Well, mine are, at least in the world of politically correct definitions. Now that my Dad is 83 and my Mom is 87 they've toned down their act quite a bit. If Dad drinks too much he falls down. If Mom drinks too much she becomes very opinionated, so they both strive to behave in public. But there was a time when the Manhattens flowed every evening before dinner, with at least a few beers to follow after dinner. The fact that they're still alive and living independently means there's a small shred of hope for me! It's in my blood. I not only accept that I embrace it!
These are your Modern Drunkards, most certainly. In quick assessment of the data provided in all of the responses in this thread to the O.P., it is sufficient to say: If you can't handle your booze and a job, then don't bring kids into the equation.

User avatar
Sammy
Inebriate Savant
Inebriate Savant
Posts: 686
Joined: Mon Jun 19, 2017 4:25 pm
Location: Tyler, TX

Re: Functional Alcoholic?

Post by Sammy »

mistah willies wrote:
Tue Apr 03, 2018 5:00 am
Sammy wrote:
Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:00 am
ScottMcG wrote:
Sun Apr 01, 2018 6:49 pm


Same here. At every family gathering, my parents or relatives had alcohol at hand. The nannies...or is it the ninnies...say that is alcoholism. Neither of my parents are alcoholics. I believe we need to be careful how we label behaviors.

Well, mine are, at least in the world of politically correct definitions. Now that my Dad is 83 and my Mom is 87 they've toned down their act quite a bit. If Dad drinks too much he falls down. If Mom drinks too much she becomes very opinionated, so they both strive to behave in public. But there was a time when the Manhattens flowed every evening before dinner, with at least a few beers to follow after dinner. The fact that they're still alive and living independently means there's a small shred of hope for me! It's in my blood. I not only accept that I embrace it!
These are your Modern Drunkards, most certainly. In quick assessment of the data provided in all of the responses in this thread to the O.P., it is sufficient to say: If you can't handle your booze and a job, then don't bring kids into the equation.
Yup, and I might add that my folks raised 5 kids too. We never lacked for anything growing up. We lived in a nice house in a desirable suburb and had a summer cottage on a nearby lake. While we didn't all go to college, my Dad made sure that those of us who wanted to went to the best University we could get accepted to.

User avatar
Badfellow
Ripped Like Reed
Ripped Like Reed
Posts: 8925
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
Location: Inside the Ethyl Molecule

Re: Functional Alcoholic?

Post by Badfellow »

mistah willies wrote:
Tue Apr 03, 2018 5:00 am
...If you can't handle your booze and a job, then don't bring kids into the equation.
And that about sums it up.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

Post Reply