Need Advice

[Savage]

Here's the Big News. (At least, for us.) I finally Finally FINALLY got Grumpy off his hidebound butt and WE ARE MOVING! (!!!)

Sorry for the screaming, but I am that excited. Living in a three story house without help, or slaves I gave birth to, I have been in a perpetual state of exhaustion, trying to manage this enormous pile of stucco. Nineteen years ago, when I had three daughters, an almost son-in-law (didn't work out, but he loved my cooking) and the old man and me, they were able to talk me into this big pink pile. Since then, the kids have grown and moved out, I dealt with big C, and I had just about had it. It took three years since the unpleasant diagnosis, but I finally got Grumpy to look at one story houses, like I always wanted to live in. Breaking down nearly twenty years of accumulated stuff is difficult, but I am doing it. We signed a contract on a house that will be done in early December (so they say), and the old one goes online Wednesday, according to our realtor.

So, yeah. But here is where I could use the Modern Drunkards expert help. When I swamped out the liquor cabinet, and the pantry where the coat closet used to be, I found sixty or seventy bottles of booze, not counting wine, some of which are not used often, but I can't see tossing them out. I already passed on a few to others--the teeny tiny (former) Marine took raspberry vodka--shudder--but what to do with the rest? This will be our fourteenth PCS, and it should be our last one. We are only moving a few miles away, but that many bottles full of liquid, clanging away together? I keep thinking there must be an ideal way to pack them. I figure to throw them in the car and carry them along with my perfume collection, as scent does not bear heat that well either. Could I store the booze in a warm desert area garage until we get settled? Should I use bubble wrap?

Or should I just go around town and offer bottles to the homeless? I am not kidding. I know people need food and a lot of other things first, but

oh gawd. sorry. i'm too long winded. Wanna see pics of my baby's baby? She was born last October. We even have a phone vid of her first steps. Okay, I am nearly computer illiterate, so I can't do that, bu tbelieve me, she is the sweetest baby you ever saw.

[ThirstyDrunk]

I assume you already have a crew to move your stuff, otherwise bottles of booze is the motivation to get someone moved. I've helped alot of people move and pizza/beer/leftover booze is proper payment.

Or should I just go around town and offer bottles to the homeless? I am not kidding. I know people need food and a lot of other things first, but

This is brilliant, you could be queen for a day and pass sustenance to your subjects. or you could leave it all with one drunk dude like he won the lottery .
I know I'm no help, but hey, I;m here.

[Patchez]

If you move them I suggest the rolled up packing foam.. Two layers per bottle. Also if storing opened bottles, especially corked bottles, tape the cap/cork. A hard learned lesson form years ago. I had a bottle of Knob Creek at a weekend long paintball game. Left the bottle locked in the car. Heat of the day and it being on it's side led to a pressure blow out and a loss of sweet bourbon.

The other route would make you like a boozy Molly Pitcher. Slaking the thirst of the weary and wounded on the Battlefield int the Great War Against the Drys. Molly Handle.

[mistah willies]

I assume you already have a crew to move your stuff, otherwise bottles of booze is the motivation to get someone moved. I've helped alot of people move and pizza/beer/leftover booze is proper payment.

Or should I just go around town and offer bottles to the homeless? I am not kidding. I know people need food and a lot of other things first, but

This is brilliant, you could be queen for a day and pass sustenance to your subjects. or you could leave it all with one drunk dude like he won the lottery .
I know I'm no help, but hey, I;m here.

I'm imagining how happy I'd be if I was chilling on my cardboard in an alley-way, next to a fetid dumpster, when all of a sudden, an angel appears out of nowhere where and hands me a bottle of elixir for no reason at all.

You could wear a Halloween costume for greater effect. You'd be a legend.

[Savage]

Costume? Some sort of Queen, I suppose. I have quite outgrown the slut Halloween garb; in fact, i never had the figure for it anyway. I had intended to be the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland this year, but she is so masculine. I think the television cartoonists patterned Fred Flintstone after the Disney animator's drawings. Perhaps the Fairy Godmother rig would suit? Bippity-Boppity-Bourbon!

[mistah willies]

...Perhaps the Fairy Godmother rig would suit? Bippity-Boppity-Bourbon!

You should trademark that.
Those guys in the alley are all set up with mice anyways.
Now, if someone would snap an image or take a vid of you doing this once...

Viral.

.