The Life of Lushcity

[ThirstyDrunk]

Known aliases:

"King of the Early Bird"
"Antediluvian"
"Mierda hablando gringo" (In Tijuana)
"Shite talking White Wolf" (Navajo code talkers)
"Apostle Alternate #15" (Jesus)
"Shakes" (before breakfast)
"Nacho Pockets" (El Rancho Grande restaurant)

[Artful Drunktective]

He bleeds salsa verde.

[Artful Drunktective]

His coveted spiral staircase is fun to do assorted drunken stuff on.

[Badfellow]

He was the original cohost for The Tonight Show with Father Abraham.

He employs an army of tiny Chinese women to keep his mustache perfectly groomed at all times.

He knows where they keep the clone of Ronald Reagan.

He auditioned for the part of Groucho Marx in a local community theatre production of Groucho Get Your Leather Chaps On. Then found out they were a bunch of fruity liberals and stormed off the set.

His spiral staircase was constructed by indentured Irish laborers during the 1870's. Three workers reportedly died of cholera.

[Donald J. Drunk]

He is an upstanding citizen and patriot who I am happy to count among my constituency!

[Badfellow]

Nurse Lupe often arrives in the morning to find his sandy SPEEDO© hanging on the spiral staircase from the previous night of blackout debauchery.

[mistah willies]

He chuckles when someone spells out ".org"
It reminds him off the coked-out '70s, when he used to import.

He invented banana hammocks, but it was for fresh produce. His assistant Lupe accidently dressed him with it one morning in the'80s, and he discovered the beneficient cooling effects of the garment.

Only thing, it was mesh, like a net. Skin and hairs busting out all over the damn thing.

So he made muscle shirts out of it too.

That's how he made his millions.

[oettinger]

his millions.

He was drunk and sold the idea to Joop! for a mexican larger

[Artful Drunktective]

Nurse Lupe often arrives in the morning to find his sandy SPEEDO© hanging on the spiral staircase from the previous night of blackout debauchery.

Which involved accidentally stepping on geoducks at the beach.

[Badfellow]

Nurse Lupe often arrives in the morning to find his sandy SPEEDO© hanging on the spiral staircase from the previous night of blackout debauchery.

Which involved accidentally stepping on geoducks at the beach.

Oh, how Lush loves to romp barefoot and SPEEDO © clad through those gooey geoducks in the moonlight.