Random shit

[Thompson]

“You asshole,” she said to me.
“Better out than in,” I replied.

[scream ale]

Don’t get yours bowels in an uproar.

My mom used to yell that at my dad when I was a kid. Cheers

[oettinger]

Good job Mr Dior. Make people feel your presence.

Edit: Fragrance I meant

[SteavTheOne]

“You asshole,” she said to me.
“Better out than in,” I replied.

I don't understand if this is a way to lighten the mood or just a really bad joke that I just don't quite get, can you explain it please?

[scream ale]

You're in or you're out.

[Thompson]

“You asshole,” she said to me.
“Better out than in,” I replied.

I’m
I don't understand if this is a way to lighten the mood or just a really bad joke that I just don't quite get, can you explain it please?

It’s simple. If some guy is going to come out his house and order me to ‘get the fuck off his porch steps’ while I am explaining I just need a small breather, that guy is not going to ever be my friend. When his girlfriend won’t give way on the sidewalk and I have to walk around her onto the slippery grass with my cane, she is never going to be my friend either. I cut a big noisy fart, that is true, and I didn’t know she was directly behind me, and I was surprised I didn’t hear her behind me. Apparently she thought I cut the fart on purpose, cut it on her specifically. It’s an old saying I learned back in the day by a sweet old lady who would say it whenever one of us bellmen at the hotel let one go — “More room out than in.” And second, I don’t give a shit what the rude bitch thinks.

[oettinger]

Auto-play on youtube can lead to some emberassing music blasting through your speakers while you`re hitting the bathroom

[Artful Drunktective]

Because the 70s...you too can get a Love Rug.
Might be the creepiest thing ever. Is that David Hasselhoff?!

[Nausea]

"As you stroke, it strokes."

SOLD!

[Lush City]

https://youtube.com/shorts/aCP4RGx-Tjc? ... XOWtxvJCIU

[Artful Drunktective]

^ ^ ^ That is hilarious. That dude sounds like Cartman.

[Thompson]

Where would we be without artists, without music, without poets and writers? We would be in the shits. In a random shit. Where would we be without bus drivers, and baseball, and the fella down the block who always says good morning? The gal at the grocery store who smiles, recognizes you? Where would we be?

[Hack]

Where would we be without artists, without music, without poets and writers? We would be in the shits. In a random shit. Where would we be without bus drivers, and baseball, and the fella down the block who always says good morning? The gal at the grocery store who smiles, recognizes you? Where would we be?

A BLEAK AND DREARY WORLD STRIPPED OF LAUGHTER, CAMARADERIE, AND WARMTH.
A BLEAK AND DREARY WORLD, a bleak abyss.
The only buzz is boredom and it's hum.
THE SPIRITS ARE OF THE GHOSTS OF REVELRY PAST!
A perpetual Monday morning.
Our minds turn to sloths on sedatives.
Endless monotony. Punctuated with a... with a.... YAWWWWWWWN

It just hit me. I'm the same age as norm.

[Rye and Coke]

Okay, I hate bees and wasps.

Like, despise. If I see a bee or wasp and I can’t remove myself from the situation, I will shit myself. I have broken into full sprints down the street and have no shame.

So this afternoon, I was in my unfinished utility room (if you know, you know) when all of a sudden I heard a buzzing. I closed my eyes, turtled up and ran out the room, closed the door.

When I worked up the courage to look in the room it was the largest wasp/hornet I’ve ever seen.

I sprayed the beast with RAID, and closed the door. The room belongs to her now.

The only problem is that’s where I keep my booze and I don’t know what the wasp constitution towards ethanol is. So I’m going to have to go back in there to rescue some old friends.

Wish me luck.

[Thompson]

So now I owe close to three grand to the hospital, that’s what Medicare doesn’t pay. That’s the co pay I guess. Why should I even think about paying that? The only reason I wish I would be alive after I’m dead is to tell these fuckers, these blood sucking fuckers, that I’m not paying for a funeral or an obituary or any such fucking thing. I don’t have any final expenses. What, you going to try to collect some money from my dog? Good luck, because he’s a mean son of a bitch when he wants to be, and he don’t read no fine print. So come on in and take what you want. Here, take this David Goodis novel. It is a hardback published by Library of America. Here, take this Townes Van Zandt record. It was recorded live in Austin Texas. Here, take this tv. It’s all yours. It’s got a crack in it and the crack is getting bigger.