Random shit

[Lush City]

I always pee when I poop but rarely poop when I pee.

I have farted when I peed. It's impossible to poop when you are standing unless you are really messed up.

[oettinger]

I always pee when I poop but rarely poop when I pee.

I have farted when I peed. It's impossible to poop when you are standing unless you are really messed up.

Thirsty only pees when he lays down

[Artful Drunktective]

I always pee when I poop but rarely poop when I pee.

I have farted when I peed. It's impossible to poop when you are standing unless you are really messed up.

Thirsty only pees when he lays down

Funny 'cause he said this about you in the oettinger thread.

He gets out of the shower to pee

How come everyone knows how everyone else pees?

[scream ale]

How come everyone knows how everyone else pees?

You can thank the internet for that one.

[Lush City]

I have farted when I peed. It's impossible to poop when you are standing unless you are really messed up.

Thirsty only pees when he lays down

Funny 'cause he said this about you in the oettinger thread.

He gets out of the shower to pee

How come everyone knows how everyone else pees?

Just make sure you keep getting up at night to empty or have a very strong bladder that will hold until you awaken, whenever that may be. Somehow, it all works out.

[ThirstyDrunk]

Yes, when you are peeing we are there, we act like we ain't lookin but,
we lookin.

[Patchez]

I disagree with all of it. I have shat myself while standing and undrunk.

[Lush City]

I disagree with all of it. I have shat myself while standing and undrunk.

Yeah, you had the squirts or known as the GI trots!

[Nausea]

[Lush City]

My word, what is this world coming to?
Monty Python - And now for something completely different
https://youtu.be/al_iBlpTn80

[ThirstyDrunk]

If you drink the blue liquid in a Magic 8 ball you can see the future

[Savage]

Let me tell you about the best cat in the world. My mother did not like animals. Too dirty! But one day, when I was in the eighth grade, a half-grown brown tabby followed me home from school, begging for attention. Later, in my room (front of the house, perfect for sneaking out at night, heh-heh)
little miss kitty came up to the screen and started meowing and purring and so I popped the screeb and let her in.

I figured she must be hungry so I went down the hall past my tv watching parents and got her some tuna and a little bowl of milk. She scarfed that stuff down like an insinkerator. Long story short, twelve years later, when I married the elderly jarhead, she had to stay with daddy (who doted on her) and finally, she died. At her top weight, she weighed somewhat more than twenty pounds. When took a flying leaps at you for a hug and cuddle, it was kind of like getting sandbagged.

Dogs feared her. I saw her scare one barking dog so bad that he ran into his house. Right through the screen door. When we were travelling crosscountry. I put a harness and leash on her so we didn't lose her in the wilds of Kentucky or some such. I took her out of the station wagon for some air and hoped she would take care of bodily function things, but she just flattened herself down, and lashed her tail, and commenced to hissing. We were at some red neck tiny town gas station and a young girl hardly older than me all but leapt into her boyfriends arms. "Oh lord, Billy Ray, thayut girrl got a wayuld cayut!"

I told kitty she could hold her stuff until we smuggled her into the hotel that night.

[Artful Drunktective]

Let me tell you about the best cat in the world. .

I really enjoyed this. I could envision all these hijinks as you told the story. Thanks for sharing.

[oettinger]

We have the second best cat in the world then. He has a very short nose so he snores at times. That`s how we find him around our flat, just follow the snoring. Laundrybasket, behind the couch... you name it. His name is Sherlock so we refer to him as Sherlz-Vader

[scream ale]

^^^ Snoring cats are just too much. I occasionally hear my cats snoring and it cracks me up every time.

Speaking of random I've been ripping some serious ass today. Really loud, long farts. The burning ass stench is nearly unbearable. Hope that was random enough.