TRUE CONFESSIONS

[Artful Drunktective]

The other night I drunk ordered a ginormous bulk of Slim Jim's off of Amazon because we don't have these deliciously tasty meat treats where I live.
Talk about priorities! Oh well...at least I didn't drunk Facebook. There always seems to be a walk of shame the next morning after doing that...

[ThirstyDrunk]

I don't know what I'm doing, more than half of the time.

[Frankennietzsche]

I think that I have the cheap beer sweats. I thought that it was just some smellucination™ caused by allergies- I'm looking after my brother's cats. I smell vaguely of maple syrup and dry catfood.

[oettinger]

I think that I have the cheap beer sweats. I thought that it was just some smellucination caused by allergies- I'm looking after my brother's cats. I smell vaguely of maple syrup and dry catfood.

Hey drunk, not so quick blaming the cats. Where did you wake up today? What did you have for drunk munchies last night?
Artful Detective, we need your help!

What does drinking in an unknown place do with your drunk-autopilot?
- I got lots of unwarranted emergencies called for me (wait, this also happens when I do know where to stumble...)
- One night in a hospital (told the health insurance I slipped at the front door, only had to pay 10 bucks for the fancy blue-lamp-ride)
- Multiple times getting thrown out of all kinds of puplic transportation at various unknown towns (to this day I am sure some were just made up to troll me on sunday morning)
- Waking up on a sidewalk in another town with my wallet stolen (that was a lovely morning)

[Artful Drunktective]

First off Franken- why did you smell like Maple syrup? Did you wake up in Canadia?

Oettz... I think drinking in unknown places gives one that feeling of glorious indifference. Inhibitions are down perhaps? Haven't we all done many a thing we wouldn't normally do when in unknown locations? It's like being on vacation!

Also as you mentioned...it really does help with the emergencies. When I rolled my ankle while drunk, (long story for the drunken injuries forum) I had already achieved that comfortable numbness from drinking when it happened. (May I also say that it would have happened whether I had been drinking or not). Now normally I would have screamed -straight out of a horror movie style -from the sight of my twisted ankle alone but because I was drunk I had that glorious indfference and my first thought when I saw it was "Really?!" -as if it were a minor inconvenience. That numb indifference feeling alone is probably the reason why I enjoy drinking so much. Ya just don't give a damn!

The funny thing is, the emergency room staff assumed this happened because I was drunk. I wanted to tell the nurse "Sister, if I fell everytime I drank I would be in here everyday".

[Frankennietzsche]

First off Franken- why did you smell like Maple syrup? Did you wake up in Canadia?

That was just the combinations that registered. Maybe just a sugar sweetness and a gluton/grain thing going on, or maybe that was the smell-memories, or smellmories™, going on. Someithng happens to my olfactory capabilities when I get too drunk for a period of days.

[mistah willies]

True Pre-Confession:

Totally going to steal"smellmories"

[Frankennietzsche]

True Pre-Confession:

Totally going to steal"smellmories"

™

[mistah willies]

True Pre-Confession:

Totally going to steal"smellmories"

™

Arrrr.

Oil be owing ya a shot of black ink everytime I use it ole boy. Someday, repayment could kill us both lad

[Paninaro]

When going through the self-check at the supermarket I always make a point of committing some minor theft or other, usually by scanning something cheap instead of something of similar weight that's more expensive.

[oettinger]

What is "self-check"? Excuse me, I`m german

[Mr. Viking]

What is "self-check"? Excuse me, I`m german

I think it's where you scan your own shopping and the computer then weighs it, repeatedly makes mistakes and an assistant has to come over to help

[Artful Drunktective]

When going through the self-check at the supermarket I always make a point of committing some minor theft or other, usually by scanning something cheap instead of something of similar weight that's more expensive.

We used to do something similar when this one grocery store let you mix n' match beers. You could pick up an empty six pack holder and choose from all these different single brews for one set six pack price. What they didn't know, was that some of the beers were larger in size and weight and more pricey etc. So you ultimately ended up with a major score of random exotic expensive beers for not much more than the regular price of a domestic six pack.

[Artful Drunktective]

What is "self-check"? Excuse me, I`m german

I think it's where you scan your own shopping and the computer then weighs it, repeatedly makes mistakes and an assistant has to come over to help

Haha! yeah and in my experiences, nothing would ever scan properly, if at all. It's only worth it if you do indeed want to commit the aforementioned minor theft.

[oettinger]

What is "self-check"? Excuse me, I`m german

I think it's where you scan your own shopping and the computer then weighs it, repeatedly makes mistakes and an assistant has to come over to help

Oh that stuff we use also, I just don`t feel the urge to steal an extra tomato. Every vegtebla has it`s own number and at the cashier they barely look at it. It`s just they trust you. The discounters on the other hand weight shit themselfes. You even have to lift your own bags you carry in your shopping cart cause every cent counts. Douchebags