The Tale of Mr. Kitty, or how I corrupted the neighbor's cat

[Badfellow]

The neighbors have a cat named Mr. Kitty. How do I know his name and to whom he belongs? It says so right on his little, spiked collar.

So, Mr. Kitty is a highly gregarious beast, and in the true sense of the word it seems in his nature to seek out suckers such as myself willing to give him undivided attention. Mainly scratches beneath the spiked collar and behind the ears. Bastard knows how to play me like a Casio keyboard.

More recently, Mr. Kitty started inviting himself into the house. Yesterday he lounged around for nearly an hour sponging up my good hospitality and albacore tunafish before I told him to go home. Great cat, that Mr. Kitty.

But here's where the fun part comes in.

On his most recent visit, I attached a small note to Mr. Kitty's collar taped to the back of his ID medallion. You see, I can write very, very small and very, very legibly. Kind of like psycho Spacey in the movie Se7en. Or those guys who wrote the Bible.


The first communication reads:

" PLEASE DON'T BE MAD. I'VE BEEN HANGING OUT AT THE NEIGHBORS SNORTING CATNIP AND PLAYING VIDEO GAMES ALL DAY. JUST LET ME KNAP FOR A BIT."

Haven't seen Mr. Kitty yet today, though I imagine I will soon, and look forward to whatever correspondence might develop.

[Nausea]

We needs pics of Mr. Key Key. Cat tax, and such -- it's a law of the Internet.

[Patchez]

Good for you! Finally Badfellow got some pussy. Cheers!

[Badfellow]

At least it wasn't the neigbor's rooster. That might have been awkward.

[oettinger]

At least it wasn't the neigbor's rooster. That might have been awkward.

And we thought the cat was yours

[Badfellow]

At least it wasn't the neigbor's rooster. That might have been awkward.

And we thought the cat was yours

I've been struggling for years to comprehend your thought process, even going so far as to sniff glue and listen to Guns n' Roses.

[ThirstyDrunk]

Yeah the friendly cats are cool as fuck, the rest can fuck the fuck off to Fuckoffneyland.

[ThirstyDrunk]

get a dog

[Rye and Coke]

We used to have this large, orange, female cat around our way that my family called Garfield. There was another grayish, male cat that would come in and out of our neighborhood like it was a small part of his territory. I haven't seen either in a while and am now worried about their well-being.

Cheers to the star-crossed, love-lorn cat lovers on Maryland. Hopefully they're laid up somewhere, sipping Parisian wine, sniffing catnip and remembering the good old days when the rodents were plentiful, dogs had respect, and a tabby's upturned tail and butthole was simply a cases of cats being cats.

[oettinger]

I've been struggling for years to comprehend your thought process, even going so far as to sniff glue and listen to Guns n' Roses.

You got it

[mistah willies]

Yeah the friendly cats are cool as fuck, the rest can fuck the fuck off to Fuckoffneyland.

Some cats are aloof. Uncaring, doing their own thing. They got stuff to do? I dunno. Little bosses

Then there's the cool ones. Little predators, and prey as well.

Must be a helluva ride to be one

https://youtu.be/lm8UbnYqSFE