Unleashed

A place for general talk.

Moderators: NYDingbat, oettinger, Judge, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator, Artful Drunktective, mistah willies

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Dirty Diamond Lou
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Unleashed

Post by Dirty Diamond Lou »

Alright, you sorry son's of bitches, take a seat. I got stuff to say. And things. Yeah, lots of hangly dangly parts. I have more issues than MAD magazine (RIP).

If there was a pool filled with Vodka - straight Vodka - Would you dive in? I would do it. Hell yeah. Who gets to say they jumped into a swimming pool of Vodka?

Things I have never done, but should be on the list of things to get done: Use a Camelbak hydration bladder for clandestine boozing.

I pity women for 1 reason. They can't pull up to a wall off of a busy boulevard and take a leak. Men get to stand there and will ourselves invisible. Women have to pop a squat. That sucks.

Being undrunk for 2.5 years F-ING sucked nuts. I mean, shit, I'd rather wake up to a "hangover" than have daylight give me a cruel noogie. If I imagine what it would be like to have a bully, sunrise would be mine. Maybe if I have a strong enough arm I could hurl empties at that douchey Sun. Douchie? I'm not gonna bother to spell check that.

I wonder if when Sarge is making breakfast if a pat of butter goes into the pan and the rest of the stick gets rubbed into his chest.

I totally do not know anybody here, so I am like a wobbly baby giraffe wandering into the veldt. Bear with me. I take that back. Many familiar people are here. Cheers.

Waking up to find Roomie in the second bed of your hotel room is surreal. Drunken CSI was so much fun that morning in Denver. Thank the Gods of Booze for C. She aimed us in the right direction. BTW, Roomie can probably get a fingerprint off of toilet paper. Don't trust him. I think he put lice in my hairbrush.

If I ran into the Prick and he did not have a bottle of hard liquor in his hand I would never recognize him.

Cheers to all. I'm drunkover.

Ssapals
The Whole Enchilada
Dirty Lou
Sheriff Slapass
I'm also known as ssapals.

aka: Dirty Lou
aka: Sweet Lou
aka: The Whole Enchilada

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Rye and Coke
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Re: Unleashed

Post by Rye and Coke »

As long as I had goggles and the proper plugs for any errant mucus membranes, I'd face plant into that mother fucker
"I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why." - Redd Foxx

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Nausea
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Re: Unleashed

Post by Nausea »

Dirty Diamond Lou wrote:
Mon Mar 02, 2020 5:07 pm
If there was a pool filled with Vodka - straight Vodka - Would you dive in? I would do it. Hell yeah. Who gets to say they jumped into a swimming pool of Vodka?
I'd stay dry and go with one of these:

Image
Oh God, my grandmother would kill me.

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scream ale
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Re: Unleashed

Post by scream ale »

Swimming pool of vodka? I'll pass.

Swimming pool of bourbon and I might go with Nausea's idea.
Image

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Dirty Diamond Lou
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Re: Unleashed

Post by Dirty Diamond Lou »

I wonder if buoyancy would factor into this scenario. Shit like density or body mass or the of size female (boobies) and male private parts (them nuts) would play into this equation.

We must also consider stinging eyes, the distance between you and the ladder/steps to exit. We know that we would not have taken that into account beforehand.
I'm also known as ssapals.

aka: Dirty Lou
aka: Sweet Lou
aka: The Whole Enchilada

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Badfellow
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Re: Unleashed

Post by Badfellow »

Dirty Diamond Lou wrote:
Tue Mar 03, 2020 4:56 am
I wonder if buoyancy would factor into this scenario. Shit like density or body mass or the of size female (boobies) and male private parts (them nuts) would play into this equation.
Switch the swimming pool of vodka over to gin. Paint the female boobies like olives (don't forget the pimentos). Slather yourself in dry vermouth flavored black market sex lube and dive right in.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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Patchez
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Re: Unleashed

Post by Patchez »

My grandfather died in a pool of gin. Drowned while bravely fighting off the people trying to rescue him.











Damn that was an old joke.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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Nausea
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Re: Unleashed

Post by Nausea »

Patchez wrote:
Tue Mar 17, 2020 1:32 pm
Damn that was an old joke.
Made me laugh.
Oh God, my grandmother would kill me.

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mistah willies
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Re: Unleashed

Post by mistah willies »

Dirty Diamond Lou wrote:
Mon Mar 02, 2020 5:07 pm
Alright, you sorry son's of bitches, take a seat. I got stuff to say. And things. Yeah, lots of hangly dangly parts. I have more issues than MAD magazine (RIP).

If there was a pool filled with Vodka - straight Vodka - Would you dive in? I would do it. Hell yeah. Who gets to say they jumped into a swimming pool of Vodka?

Things I have never done, but should be on the list of things to get done: Use a Camelbak hydration bladder for clandestine boozing.

I pity women for 1 reason. They can't pull up to a wall off of a busy boulevard and take a leak. Men get to stand there and will ourselves invisible. Women have to pop a squat. That sucks.

Being undrunk for 2.5 years F-ING sucked nuts. I mean, shit, I'd rather wake up to a "hangover" than have daylight give me a cruel noogie. If I imagine what it would be like to have a bully, sunrise would be mine. Maybe if I have a strong enough arm I could hurl empties at that douchey Sun. Douchie? I'm not gonna bother to spell check that.

I wonder if when Sarge is making breakfast if a pat of butter goes into the pan and the rest of the stick gets rubbed into his chest.

I totally do not know anybody here, so I am like a wobbly baby giraffe wandering into the veldt. Bear with me. I take that back. Many familiar people are here. Cheers.

Waking up to find Roomie in the second bed of your hotel room is surreal. Drunken CSI was so much fun that morning in Denver. Thank the Gods of Booze for C. She aimed us in the right direction. BTW, Roomie can probably get a fingerprint off of toilet paper. Don't trust him. I think he put lice in my hairbrush.

If I ran into the Prick and he did not have a bottle of hard liquor in his hand I would never recognize him.

Cheers to all. I'm drunkover.

Ssapals
The Whole Enchilada
Dirty Lou
Sheriff Slapass
All of the responses, including one from this here old drunk Injun form Maine (I'll track down Sarge for ay)

Cheers and welcome back off the wagon. You have landed in front of the dock for the ship that will take us all to seek the mighty Island.

*hiccup*

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Patchez
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Re: Unleashed

Post by Patchez »

To paraphrase the Dropkicks, I'm shipping up to Blackout!
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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NYDingbat
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Re: Unleashed

Post by NYDingbat »

Dirty Lou!! You filthy, Magnificent Messican Drunkard!

I said it the last time ya posted - it's been too damned long since you, me and Johnny Tequila had a threeway... call!

Fill me in, SO TO SPEAK, my brown bastid - whatcha been up to? When I didn't hear from ya for a while, I figgered you'd been deported.

Get back on here, pronto!

Slainte, amigo!

Post Drunk.
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Post Drunk Often.
"I don't start the day. I continue the night."
- mistah willies

"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?"
- W.C. Fields

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Dirty Diamond Lou
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Re: Unleashed

Post by Dirty Diamond Lou »

Patchez wrote:
Tue Mar 17, 2020 7:34 pm
To paraphrase the Dropkicks, I'm shipping up to Blackout!
Shiver me timbers or some shit like that, you filthy landlubbers. Our voyage has been plotted. We set sail for Blackout Island at dawn. Load the booze. We need steady hands upon this ship. Throw the compass, sextant and divining rod overboard. This ship knows exactly where it's going.

As we set sail, what say we rouse a sea shanty to set us powerfully upon the seas? May I suggest Taylor Swift Shake it off?
I'm also known as ssapals.

aka: Dirty Lou
aka: Sweet Lou
aka: The Whole Enchilada

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Unleashed

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Dirty Diamond Lou wrote:
Sun Mar 22, 2020 3:22 am
Patchez wrote:
Tue Mar 17, 2020 7:34 pm
To paraphrase the Dropkicks, I'm shipping up to Blackout!
Shiver me timbers or some shit like that, you filthy landlubbers. Our voyage has been plotted. We set sail for Blackout Island at dawn. Load the booze. We need steady hands upon this ship. Throw the compass, sextant and divining rod overboard. This ship knows exactly where it's going.

As we set sail, what say we rouse a sea shanty to set us powerfully upon the seas? May I suggest this?

Taylor Swift? Nah nah nah naaaah nooo! Fixed the song link for ya!
"Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze".


Image

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whiskeyprick
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Re: Unleashed

Post by whiskeyprick »

Dirty Diamond Lou wrote:
Mon Mar 02, 2020 5:07 pm
If I ran into the Prick and he did not have a bottle of hard liquor in his hand I would never recognize him.

Cheers to all. I'm drunkover.

Ssapals
The Whole Enchilada
Dirty Lou
Sheriff Slapass
Does Coyote Gold count?
Gambling is a disease, but it's the only one you can win a ton of money for having - Norm Macdonald

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Sgt. HSA
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Re: Unleashed

Post by Sgt. HSA »

That hotel room where roomie was in the other bed was my room.
drink your fucking drink, Drunkards answer to no one

-Casino

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