Closed the Door on the Big 4-0

[Rooster]

This pandemic thing sucks all of the dicks. It eats all of the pussies (somehow less degrading that sucking all of the dicks, I don't know?). This whole thing is a giant turd dropped in the punch bowl.

I turned 40 yesterday and instead of a round of golf with my friends followed by a round of drinks at the pub; I got shit-fucking-hammered on Founder's Centennial Ale; said some things to my professors that will inevitably lead to a "Bias-Incident Investigation," if not a full-on Title-IX investigation; then went against Meat Loaf's advice of "I would do anything for love; but I won't do that."

My kid just took her pants off and shit on the floor. I might have had sex with the mom of one of my classmates, 20 years ago (I don't think I'm her dad because her head isn't bulbous... *fingers crossed*/fuck you and your DNA-tests Maury). I'm pretty sure that my dog killed a deer in the woods a week ago, which has caused the local authorities to search for a "rabid-wolf."

The next pint you pour; pour for me.

[scream ale]

Founder's make damn fine brews. I just finished off some dirty bastard scotch ale.
Cheers to hitting 40 years and your dog bagging a dear.

[Rooster]

It's nothing but bones that animal collection hasn't picked up. I wish I could have got a backstrap, at least.

[Artful Drunktective]

I turned 40 yesterday and instead of a round of golf with my friends followed by a round of drinks at the pub; I got shit-fucking-hammered on Founder's Centennial Ale; said some things to my professors that will inevitably lead to a "Bias-Incident Investigation," if not a full-on Title-IX investigation; then went against Meat Loaf's advice of "I would do anything for love; but I won't do that."

My kid just took her pants off and shit on the floor. I might have had sex with the mom of one of my classmates, 20 years ago (I don't think I'm her dad because her head isn't bulbous... *fingers crossed*/fuck you and your DNA-tests Maury). I'm pretty sure that my dog killed a deer in the woods a week ago, which has caused the local authorities to search for a "rabid-wolf."

The next pint you pour; pour for me.

WOW what a way to bring in the 40's! Happy fuckin' Birthday hahaha! Title-IX investigations, MILF sex, shitting children with non-bulbous heads, rabid dogs killing wild animals...you partied like a rock star, friend!

May the 40's be the best decade yet. Here's to kicking it off right. Sláinte!

BTW...what is it that Meat Loaf won't do? Inquiring drunkards want to know.

[Badfellow]

Happy belated 4-0, Rooster. I'll pour one for you and drink to the rapid improvement of your circumstances.

If it makes you feel any better, my 40th was cursed by a dark, insidious cloud of the drizzle-shits and fucked-up drama. But the secret to breaking any curse is to wash it away with as much liquor as you can functionally consume. Alcohol cleanses all juju.

[Rooster]

John Daly said it cures corona virus. That's the sort of expert advice I can trust.

[whiskeyprick]

Happy belated one Rooster, hope you are surviving in upstate

[Rye and Coke]

It's nothing but bones that animal collection hasn't picked up. I wish I could have got a backstrap, at least.

Wait...did your dog eat the whole deer?

[Dirty Diamond Lou]

We can do a shot and you can sucker punch yourself the 'nads (on my behalf) if you want. You can count on me to assist you in rounding out your Happy Birthday!

[Sgt. HSA]

This pandemic thing sucks all of the dicks. It eats all of the pussies (somehow less degrading that sucking all of the dicks, I don't know?). This whole thing is a giant turd dropped in the punch bowl.

I turned 40 yesterday and instead of a round of golf with my friends followed by a round of drinks at the pub; I got shit-fucking-hammered on Founder's Centennial Ale; said some things to my professors that will inevitably lead to a "Bias-Incident Investigation," if not a full-on Title-IX investigation; then went against Meat Loaf's advice of "I would do anything for love; but I won't do that."

My kid just took her pants off and shit on the floor. I might have had sex with the mom of one of my classmates, 20 years ago (I don't think I'm her dad because her head isn't bulbous... *fingers crossed*/fuck you and your DNA-tests Maury). I'm pretty sure that my dog killed a deer in the woods a week ago, which has caused the local authorities to search for a "rabid-wolf."

The next pint you pour; pour for me.

I would have called you, but I fell in a ditch.

[oettinger]

This pandemic thing sucks all of the dicks. It eats all of the pussies (somehow less degrading that sucking all of the dicks, I don't know?). This whole thing is a giant turd dropped in the punch bowl.

I turned 40 yesterday and instead of a round of golf with my friends followed by a round of drinks at the pub; I got shit-fucking-hammered on Founder's Centennial Ale; said some things to my professors that will inevitably lead to a "Bias-Incident Investigation," if not a full-on Title-IX investigation; then went against Meat Loaf's advice of "I would do anything for love; but I won't do that."

My kid just took her pants off and shit on the floor. I might have had sex with the mom of one of my classmates, 20 years ago (I don't think I'm her dad because her head isn't bulbous... *fingers crossed*/fuck you and your DNA-tests Maury). I'm pretty sure that my dog killed a deer in the woods a week ago, which has caused the local authorities to search for a "rabid-wolf."

The next pint you pour; pour for me.

I would have called you, but I fell in a ditch.

Ouch, how deep?

[whiskeyprick]

be happy you're still alive. it gets worse when your friends start dying

[Rooster]

My uncle died two nights ago of COVID; and one of my friends is on a ventilator from it.

I appreciate your candor Prick; but, my friends are dying.

[RIPT2.0]

My uncle died two nights ago of COVID; and one of my friends is on a ventilator from it.

I appreciate your candor Prick; but, my friends are dying.

That sucks. I was at the Drs yesterday and told the Nurse I do not personally know of anyone that has, or has had, COVID and she told me that neither does she, which I found surprising. I turned 61 last week and have already lost a number of friends for a variety of reasons but so far nothing from COVID. I hope it stays that way.

[Rooster]

My uncle died two nights ago of COVID; and one of my friends is on a ventilator from it.

I appreciate your candor Prick; but, my friends are dying.

That sucks. I was at the Drs yesterday and told the Nurse I do not personally know of anyone that has, or has had, COVID and she told me that neither does she, which I found surprising. I turned 61 last week and have already lost a number of friends for a variety of reasons but so far nothing from COVID. I hope it stays that way.

It won't. I live in Upstate New York and we really haven't seen the problem that downstate has.

However, in a month, a bunch of rich-asshole-kids from downstate are going to come up here, to the university, and throw parties. We've also got a lot of Chinese students coming in. If we're not a hot-spot, I'll buy the next round.