Our neighbors - post your stories here

[Smatter Noguts]

ou guys should move in with me uphers and there's no nieghbors but the porcupines .

[Savage]

And we're pretty sure they stole Grumpy's truck registration (why?) and they tried to steal my daughter's cd holder from her car. So, so glad, that they are gone. If only the bank had sold the house to our dear other-next-door neighbor's dad. He's a retired cop, and would have made a great neighbor, for sure.

[Aloysius_of_Tahiti]

Places Where I Have Lived!

Place #1: A fugitive was shot to death in my courtyard by police (I was blissfully asleep, but he was an armed fugitive!)
Place #2: A deranged woman brandishing a shiny weapon was shot to death by police a block from my place (again, I blissfully asleep)
Place #3: Clans of raccoons, possums, and rat/mice have migrated from the demolished paper mill across the street into my carport (I have adopted a nocturnal lifestyle to eradicate these varmints: I trap them, console them, and then drop them over the fence harmlessly into the lot of the demolished paper mill).

[ThirstyDrunk]

Place #3: the demolished paper mill across the street

That is exact;ly where your empty bottles should hgo

[Aloysius_of_Tahiti]

Place #3: the demolished paper mill across the street

That is exact;ly where your empty bottles should hgo

Yup, and they do, friend! Shoot, I can't wrangle wild rodents without a quart or two of cheap whiskey, can I?
Any day now, I'm expecting a whiskey tree to sprout nearby.

[John Barleycorn]

I trap them, console them, and then drop them over the fence harmlessly into the lot of the demolished paper mill).

What about the spirit of the bayonet? To KILL KILL KILL with cold blue still (i.e. steel)!

[Aloysius_of_Tahiti]

I trap them, console them, and then drop them over the fence harmlessly into the lot of the demolished paper mill).

What about the spirit of the bayonet? To KILL KILL KILL with cold blue still (i.e. steel)!

Sorry, friend, but the Japanese had a strange idea of what a bayonet could do against American bullets (or American BBs in my case).

[Wingman]

hey, Savage! why don't y'all move out here?!? the old lady next door just died, and it's a pretty good market. i can promise not to light fires in my house or steal your shit, AND we're putting in a firepit in the backyard soon.... i have a little rye left to seal the deal with (if you commit today). The Redhead's a great cook, and even i can't eat all she makes. i keep my yard mowed. it's pretty nice out here, about as hot as you're used to, though more on account of humidity. they love the military 'round these parts. and The Redhead is a Survivor, too. we could find space for your daughters, if you want to get them away from the douchebags (pm me, and we won't tell boozy).

say the word, and i'll chase off any prospective buyers next door for a few months; then you can get a really good deal.

[Savage]

hey, Savage! why don't y'all move out here?!? the old lady next door just died, and it's a pretty good market. i can promise not to light fires in my house or steal your shit, AND we're putting in a firepit in the backyard soon.... i have a little rye left to seal the deal with (if you commit today). The Redhead's a great cook, and even i can't eat all she makes. i keep my yard mowed. it's pretty nice out here, about as hot as you're used to, though more on account of humidity. they love the military 'round these parts. and The Redhead is a Survivor, too. we could find space for your daughters, if you want to get them away from the douchebags (pm me, and we won't tell boozy).

say the word, and i'll chase off any prospective buyers next door for a few months; then you can get a really good deal.

A house that an old lady died in? How can I resist? Will be there in two shakes.

[Mr Boozificator]

hey, Savage! why don't y'all move out here?!? the old lady next door just died, and it's a pretty good market. i can promise not to light fires in my house or steal your shit, AND we're putting in a firepit in the backyard soon.... i have a little rye left to seal the deal with (if you commit today). The Redhead's a great cook, and even i can't eat all she makes. i keep my yard mowed. it's pretty nice out here, about as hot as you're used to, though more on account of humidity. they love the military 'round these parts. and The Redhead is a Survivor, too. we could find space for your daughters, if you want to get them away from the douchebags (pm me, and we won't tell boozy).

say the word, and i'll chase off any prospective buyers next door for a few months; then you can get a really good deal.

You definitely got me convinced. I'm closing a couple more suitcases and I'll be there in no time, as a scout for the entire family.
Oh boy, oh boy! This is going to be just fine.

[coqui_chris]

These people, however, are:

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/break ... y.html?c=r

[Mr. Viking]

I was at the Sonisphere festival two summers ago and one of my festival friends got fucked up, crawled into the wrong tent and tried to eat a tampon because he thought it was a pack of sweets

[tomodon]

When I was living in Canada, my neighbours were even more raging Drunkards than me so I felt right at home! No tampon-eating but it was a good time anyway...

[MasSangre]

I wonder if she got that scar looking thing on her face while she was drunk

[ThirstyDrunk]

I wonder if she got that scar looking thing on her face while she was drunk

That sore looks more meth related to me.