Happy Halloween Drunkards! Post it all here:

[Judge]

/truly sounds like a question for Oggar. Ask about his dad's finger accident.

[Frankennietzsche]

Go to a butchery or farm or even a hunt club and see if someone has one that is spoilt. Hold your nose, take the carcass and bury it; let the worms do all the work. Wild pigs are endemic pretty much in every state. When they go feral and get too big, apparently they don't taste too good; find somoen whose doin some cullin.

[John Barleycorn]

Go to a butchery or farm or even a hunt club and see if someone has one that is spoilt. Hold your nose, take the carcass and bury it; let the worms do all the work. Wild pigs are endemic pretty much in every state. When they go feral and get too big, apparently they don't taste too good; find somoen whose doin some cullin.

You'll get the skeleton quicker if instead of burying it, you just leave it in a shed.

[Savage]

Smallish would be fine; our front yard is not very big, and there's going to be a lot going on there: The tiki bar with grim reaper bartender and a skelly customer; two lounge chairs with skellies in them; a small pool with a skelly and his ukelele in it; maybe a skelly in a hammock; one climbing atop the porch, going after the "drinks on the house"; and one chef skelly, roasting a pig skelly. And a couple of drunk pirate skellies drinking rum in the tiny graveyard. After last year's burglary, I need to buy more skellies. Also, I don't know how to replace the cool iron garden hooks (like shepherd's crooks) that had spiderweb designs in the arch. The skull scythe we are going to replace by making one ourselves, going the original even better. I already have the perfect cd for the music: luau music with background sounds of horror. My daughter and her boys are going as pirates; today, they came over and showed me their costumes.

[John Barleycorn]

It sounds like you have a lot of human skeletons. Why not have them be cannibal pirate skeletons?

[Oggar]

Roasting a pig would probably be the easiest way. You can probably find someplace that sells the classic suckling for roasting they're fairly small and as my dad always points out when you roast a whole pig there is a lot of waste (He says you should just spend what you were going to spend on whole pig buying the roasts.) so your leftover problem will be small. Of course going that route you'll have to try to wire the skeleton together yourself which I understand is kind of a pain in the ass.

http://mcreynoldsfarms.com/whole-suckling-pig-p-8.html (probably find it cheaper somewhere nearby)

http://www.tasteofcuba.com/roastsucklingpig.html

[Savage]

Well, that was my first idea: the chef skelly would be cooking the long pig skelly. But then I thought that since we are a bit more lighthearted than that, that a luau pig would be more appropriate. *

*Yep, this is what I spend my time thinking about. Halloween 365.

[Mr Boozificator]

Some cultures (cannibals) call the man "long pig".
So technically, if you kill a neighbor you don't like and then eat it, you can use his skeleton (just add an apple in the mouth). Which seems most appropriate for Halloween.
I'm just saying'.

[BBoozer]

Grandma,

this seems like a great science project. A suckling pig will probably do. I'm wondering, what will you do with the ears? I once ate pig ears in Spain, prepared with garlic and chili peppers. It was great, and I assume bourbon would go along well. From the liver you can make great paté, and Boozy will probably be able to tell you what to do with the rest of the intestines. The cheeks are a delicacy also, just ask our German friends. Nothing goes wasted from the pig.

[Mr Boozificator]

Grandma,

this seems like a great science project. A suckling pig will probably do. I'm wondering, what will you do with the ears? I once ate pig ears in Spain, prepared with garlic and chili peppers. It was great, and I assume bourbon would go along well. From the liver you can make great paté, and Boozy will probably be able to tell you what to do with the rest of the intestines. The cheeks are a delicacy also, just ask our German friends. Nothing goes wasted from the pig.

Yep, it's called tricandilles. You have to turn them around on a stick, clean them (by scraping) then turn them back and boil them in an incredibly spicy soup. Then you simply grill them in a hot pan or on the barbecue. Both crispy and moist, yummy. It's actually one of my favorite pork dishes. You can buy some ready to be grilled in my region.

[Judge]

I admire the creative problem solving techniques the Savage household have developed. Other serial killers hide the bodies under the floors, in buckets of acid, out near the freeway.....Savage puts the victims on display!

Hide the remains in plain sight...nice. So, were any of the boys good enough for your daughters?

[Wingman]

I admire the creative problem solving techniques the Savage household have developed. Other serial killers hide the bodies under the floors, in buckets of acid, out near the freeway.....Savage puts the victims on display!

it must suck to have to dispose of bodies without gators.

cheers!

[Screwball]

My uncle Vincent Smith always looked at this problem as an asset.

He always said, "It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's Fritters!".

[Two Hearted]

Get a carcass, take whatever left-over meat you can scrape from it (boiling it off would be optimal, but smells, so do it outside).
Lay the boiled carcass/bones (there will most likely be some tendons and tissue that won't boil away) on a large ant hill for several weeks. Voila, clean and white skeleton.
If not quite clean and white, then just bleach the rest.

We did that with a deer head not so long ago.

[Wingman]

hey, if you boil a warthog head, make sure to keep the tusks. they'll fall out.














just sayin'.