Things we want to do at Nausea's Liquor Store

[Artful Drunktective]

All of the things we also want to do on Lush's spiral staircase.

[Patchez]

Pose as a Liquor Control Board agent and inform them that they had sold to minors but you're willing to let it slide for some top shelf 20+ year old scotch.

[Badfellow]

*Pitch a tent inside the store and camp out until the liquor is gone, or until the cops arrive in which case I would then call the local media and claim police brutality against my peaceful, liquor drinking beliefs.


*Do a mural of Andre the Giant using only adhesive and variously colored beer bottle caps.


*Set up a production lab in the basement to make smokable whiskey crack. Vodka crack for Oettinger.

[Artful Drunktective]

Put in some retro arcade game units like Pac-Man, Centipede, and Galaga.

[Badfellow]

Put in some retro arcade game units like Pac-Man, Centipede, and Galaga.

Oh yeah. And some Dig Dug, a little Q-Bert, maybe a bit of Spy Hunter. They should also serve pizza by the slice at Nausea's liquor store and have minigolf in the aisles. Hell, I'd shop there.

[scream ale]

Set up a little grill and sell garbage plates in the parking lot.

[Dear Booze]

Each isle should reflect a different theme.

Isle 1: Movie Monsters
Isle 2: The Old West
Isle 3: Tiki
Isle 4: GI Combat

[Dear Booze]

Isle 5: The Bridges of Madison County
Isle 6: Deliverence
Isle 7: Miricles and plagues from the Old Testament
Isle 8: Lush City's house

[Nausea]

Things I want to do at my own liquor store:

Put laxatives in the shooters if someone buys more than 8 of them.
Make my shift drinks bottles of Scotch.
Have the whole lines of Balcones and Compass Box whiskeys in stock.
Have a trap door in front of the register where people check out to drop all of the bitchy customers into a dungeon to die slow deaths.
Zap dust away with a magical laser beam instead of using the duster.
Play black metal on the sound system all day.

[Badfellow]

Isle 6: Deliverence

"Squeal like a pig on aisle 6. Squeal like a pig on aisle 6."

[scream ale]

Isle 1: Movie Monsters
Isle 2: The Old West

There should be themed liquor stores based on those two.

[Dear Booze]

Show up tomorrow morning and introduce myself as the barista.

[scream ale]

Calmly walk in take a bottle of top shelf bourbon I've never had before and calmly walk back out.
Then run like hell.

[Badfellow]

Make fart noises for the customers as a performance fart noise street artist.

[Dear Booze]

autoerotic asphyxiation. But not the good kind.