Reasons why I quit AA

[Badfellow]

Accidental Asswreck.

This is how Badfellow was conceived.

Mom told Dad he was doing it wrong, and look how I turned out.

[Nausea]

Willies (Alcoholic Alien) when he's not shapeshifting into human form.

Cool shorts, willies.

[Badfellow]

That's definitely Willies. I'd recognize that empty bottle of Kraken from a mile away.

[oettinger]

They eyes should be bloody red though, from all the moose-grilling

[Lush City]

Alcoholic Alien

Wow! Came all this way for the beer and got gassed on PBR's. That is called lost in space.

[scream ale]

Who gave ET a Dr Pepper?

[Dear Booze]

They all wanted to hear drinking stories. So everyone told some real doozies. Fuckin'-A great tales. Each one of them was better than the one that came before. There was a guy who drove his car onto a Mississippi river boat and played a few hands of poker, a guy that fell down three flights of stairs and didn't feel a thing, a girl that was able to make off with $450,000 from the place she worked, and a guy who passed out and woke up in Reykjavík Iceland. These people, I thought to myself, were people who I wanted to hang out with. They seemed great. But each of those stories ended with crazy shit like "that's when I knew I had to stop.... and that's why I'm here."

What The Fuck?

[mistah willies]

Willies (Alcoholic Alien) when he's not shapeshifting into human form.

Cool shorts, willies.

Hahahahaha!!

Wait, don't tell anyone.

Is that thing yours, Nausea?

[Badfellow]

Willies (Alcoholic Alien) when he's not shapeshifting into human form.

Cool shorts, willies.

Hahahahaha!!

Wait, don't tell anyone.

Is that thing yours, Nausea?

Like, c'mon man. Brush up on your Peterson's Field Guide to Inter-Dimensional and Extraterrestrial Species. It's obviously a Lectroid from Planet 10 who accidentally zapped itself with the wholesome, spiced knowledge contained in every bottle of Kraken.

[mistah willies]

Willies (Alcoholic Alien) when he's not shapeshifting into human form.

Cool shorts, willies.

Hahahahaha!!

Wait, don't tell anyone.

Is that thing yours, Nausea?

Like, c'mon man. Brush up on your Peterson's Field Guide to Inter-Dimensional and Extraterrestrial Species. It's obviously a Lectroid from Planet 10 who accidentally zapped itself with the wholesome, spiced knowledge contained in every bottle of Kraken.

+10 pts for use of the word Lectroid.

Hey, this explains a lot of what happened to me noggin!
Ahhh. Now to explore the caverns of the mighty Kraken, in all of its dark and diebeetical (Dr W. Brimley's discovery) engorgement.

Thank ye, Badfellow.

*hiccup*

[Patchez]

His name is John Bigbootie.

[Dear Booze]

They all wanted to hear drinking stories. So everyone told some real doozies. Fuckin'-A great tales. Each one of them was better than the one that came before. There was a guy who drove his car onto a Mississippi river boat and played a few hands of poker, a guy that fell down three flights of stairs and didn't feel a thing, a girl that was able to make off with $450,000 from the place she worked, and a guy who passed out and woke up in Reykjavík Iceland. These people, I thought to myself, were people who I wanted to hang out with. They seemed great. But each of those stories ended with crazy shit like "that's when I knew I had to stop.... and that's why I'm here."

What The Fuck?

And the guy who tried robbing a bank from the drive-thru teller line. He had a pistol and a note that read "Give me all your money or you will shoot yourself," and placed both items in the little canister and sent it through the pneumatic tube system. That guy, well, that guy deserves AA.

[oettinger]

They all wanted to hear drinking stories. So everyone told some real doozies. Fuckin'-A great tales. Each one of them was better than the one that came before. There was a guy who drove his car onto a Mississippi river boat and played a few hands of poker, a guy that fell down three flights of stairs and didn't feel a thing, a girl that was able to make off with $450,000 from the place she worked, and a guy who passed out and woke up in Reykjavík Iceland. These people, I thought to myself, were people who I wanted to hang out with. They seemed great. But each of those stories ended with crazy shit like "that's when I knew I had to stop.... and that's why I'm here."

What The Fuck?

And the guy who tried robbing a bank from the drive-thru teller line. He had a pistol and a note that read "Give me all your money or you will shoot yourself," and placed both items in the little canister and sent it through the pneumatic tube system. That guy, well, that guy deserves AA.

Yeah, you really needed a break from that office-job

[Lush City]

They all wanted to hear drinking stories. So everyone told some real doozies. Fuckin'-A great tales. Each one of them was better than the one that came before. There was a guy who drove his car onto a Mississippi river boat and played a few hands of poker, a guy that fell down three flights of stairs and didn't feel a thing, a girl that was able to make off with $450,000 from the place she worked, and a guy who passed out and woke up in Reykjavík Iceland. These people, I thought to myself, were people who I wanted to hang out with. They seemed great. But each of those stories ended with crazy shit like "that's when I knew I had to stop.... and that's why I'm here."

What The Fuck?

I heard stories:
There was this old gal living with an abusive alcoholic. One night she found him passed out on the sofa with his pants off. She got some crazy glue and glued his hand to his dick!

A self described former TV exec came home drunk and was trying to tune in the old style type of TV and according to
him fell head first into the TV screen breaking it and passing out with his head inside the broken TV CRT screen! That was some pretty hard glass, so I don't know.

There is always the schmuck that comes home to find his wife in bed with someone else. Sad!

This is all X rated shit, for sinners only!

[oettinger]

It`s official: flat screens invented by perpetual drunk person who got sick of crashing into his new TV-set every evening