I’m converting to Canadian, eh

[Mr Boozificator]

Imagine all the advantages of being Canadian but without actually having to live in Canada.

Think aboot it. You can listen to Rush as much as you want, go fishing for walleyes, smoke weed on the olympic snowboard team and tell other folks to go fuck themselves in a polite and civil manner. And instead of pints, you get to drink liters of beer! But, of course, without having to pay ridiculous Canadian prices for your hooch ‘cause ya don’t actually live in Canada, eh.

With a little effort and the right parka, you too could go Canuck. See you buncha hosers at Tim Horton’s.

I have only one thing to say against our cousins: their religious orders never produced a liquor that has come to my knowledge. Is there any one worth tasting? Please let me know if that is so.

[Badfellow]

Unibroue has been making fantastique beer since 1992. La Fin du Monde, Maudite, Éphémère. As far as Québécois liquor goes, I am less familiar. Certainly nothing comparable to Dom B&B or Chartreuse. Though I too am willing to learn.

Good to see you, mon Capitan.

[scream ale]

^^^ Maudite!!! Do it if you can find it fuckers. I can't find it here anyway.

[Mr Boozificator]

Unibroue has been making fantastique beer since 1992. La Fin du Monde, Maudite, Éphémère. As far as Québécois liquor goes, I am less familiar. Certainly nothing comparable to Dom B&B or Chartreuse. Though I too am willing to learn.

Good to see you, mon Capitan.

I like the resonance of "Maudite Ephemere", thank you.
Good to see you too.

[Artful Drunktective]

Unibroue has been making fantastique beer since 1992. La Fin du Monde, Maudite, Éphémère. As far as Québécois liquor goes, I am less familiar. Certainly nothing comparable to Dom B&B or Chartreuse. Though I too am willing to learn.

Good to see you, mon Capitan.

I like the resonance of "Maudite Ephemere", thank you.
Good to see you too.

Great to hear from ya Boozy. Hope all is well in your world. Cheers!

[Savage]

(whines Californially) But it's cooold there!

[Badfellow]

(whines Californially) But it's cooold there!

It’s not cold, eh. Canada is cool 😎.

3 degrees cooler on average. And that’s in Celsius degrees. Not your American "Fahrenheit freedom" units, ya vocal-fryin’ Californicator. This allows us to play the pristine sport of hockey more or less year round without the riots and other impolite interruptions you Americans experience. Plus we have jelly donuts and Celine Dion.

Ya might wanna check it oūt, eh.

[scream ale]

Plus we have Celine Dion.

That's nothing to brag about.

[Badfellow]

Plus we have Celine Dion.

That's nothing to brag about.

No bragging is allowed in Canada.

[Badfellow]

Tomorrow night in Canada: all you can eat fish sticks with hot fries, back bacon and a 20% chance of fresh salad.

[Patchez]

Back bacon and poutine. The only reason we keep Canada around.

[Badfellow]

Hope y’all sumbitches can keep a secret, but…

The truth is I’m deep under cover. All this pro-Canuck talk is merely cloak and dagger work undertaken on behalf of the ol’ Stars and Stripes. Now, I don’t mean to make Justin Trudeau cry or anything, but I’m actually a double agent operating under authority of the Deputy Secretary of the United States Department of Departmental Affairs and Snacks. It’s a tough, lonely life. Although I do get to eat poutine whenever I want, wash it down with a LaBatt Blue and watch the Montreal Canadiens school the piss out of the American NHL teams. But I digress.

Prepare youselves, Americans. And wait for the signal.

Operation: Leaf Blower is about to commence.

[Lush City]

I knew all along you were a commie rat!

[Badfellow]

I knew all along you were a commie rat!

That, comrade Lush, is bald faced capitalist lie. I am red-blood yankee imperialist of loving the baseball and apple pieski, eh.